ADVICE NEEDED (page 2)

detective

You could maybe ask sarah why her friend wants to leave. ask alot of questions like "why does your friend think it's a cult?" or "how would you know something is a cult?"

Here's a few more:

"are all cults bad?"

'what makes a cult a bad thing?'

"what are the characteristics of a cult? Do all cults only have one leader? Can a cult have more than one leader?"

"Do you think your friend might have mistaken some rules within the organization for the types of rules one might find in a destructive cult? If so, what rules?"

"If you were in a cult, how would you know?"

"what does your friend have problems with? What is she concerned about and why?"

Perhaps you can get Sarah talking about the friends concern and try to get her to free up her own thinking a bit. If you can get her to elaborate on the friends concerns, you might be able to loosen the mind-grip a bit and sense what concerns Sarah herself might have. You might want to avoid too much anti-org. stuff at first and try to connect with thinking person before dropping a few small seeds of doubt. Good luck!

BadJerry

The thing that struck me was that you may be talking to the wrong person. IMPO you should be talking with Sarah's friend who is looking to get out. Maybe point her to here, the CofC book...but at least talk with the friend. As for Sarah, or anyone else, follow your heart and that quiet voice that whispers to you to do the "right" thing.

LB

Always take baby steps here. You know her better than we do. I think you've received some great advice. I've used the old thought about "isn't Christ's organization identified by the love shown among the brothers"? Something along those lines might work for her since she already has a problem with crap going on.

Just go very slow. But go.

Mary

Great ideas everyone, thanks....

Detective, I've thought of going alot the lines of what you suggested. It's a good way to be subtle, but to get the person to think a bit too......

I don't know who this other person is who wants to leave, so I can't really talk to her, but if I find out who it is, I might be able to.

glitter

Definitely try to speak to the person who is wanting to leave. Perhaps offer to speak to her and then tell her she's right and that you'll help her explain to your friend how she feels and why she feels it.

Only stick to the scandals and policy changes, things that are definitely true and provable - I don't think saying things about the Trinity, for example, would be as effective for getting JWs to get out for good.

What I'm scared of is a JW saying "this is wrong, I want out. Tell me what you know about them" and then them changing their mind about leaving, then grassing me up to the elders and it causing loads of trouble - so be careful.

A Paduan

Without plainly saying the whole truth of the truth to your friend all at once, I would say to her that you can understand why she would want out - afterall there are many vaild and understandable reasons for doing so such as - false prophecies, paedophlia, changing light, cover ups, etc etc............. plant and water that seed.

paduan

ozziepost

G'day Mary,

I've never told Sarah that I know this ISN'T "the truth", as I think it could really damage her.

Is it possible that what you're really afraid of is losing her as a friend? Or distrurbing the status quo?

Sooner or later, you have to "face the music". What do you really believe in? Where do you really stand?

That will be so much better than "living a lie". Trust me, freedom's not just a word. It feels wonderful!

Cheers, Ozzie

ADVICE NEEDED