Thanks, Es.
There are tons who had it worse, and I still have more good memories than bad, even when it comes to my father. The thing that matters to me is that he stopped hitting me by the time I was 15. He did this because he was ashamed of himself and his behavior. And, he never did anything like that to my three younger brothers.
Last semester he apologized for all that stuff, which meant a lot to me.
It's just that the "beating" mentality is so encouraged by Witnesses (and, I'm sure, other religions). And it's not something you can do in love and self-control. It communicates no love, nor any moral or ethical lesson, whatsoever -- it's just an negative reinforcement of desired behavior.
Anyway, Es, it's really good to be reading your posts here, there, everywhere. I know you are busy and sometimes not well, and when you're gone I sorta miss you.
Love to you and your family,
Dedalus