Asperger's Syndrome

by Mulan 36 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Mulan

  Wow, this is all so great. Thank you everyone. I am going to get that book for sure. Thank you for telling me about it!! It occurred to me, as I read the long document on this syndrome, that it sounds like Bill Gates. It makes perfect sense to me.

  My daughter in law also is dyslexic, so had lots of trouble in school, and suffered much abuse at the hands of teachers and students. Everyone thought she was retarded until her parents demanded a test of her IQ. It turns out she is extremely intelligent, and has a very high IQ, higher than mine, which is 123. Her mother says she tested 180, but that seems hard to believe. That is pretty darned brilliant, and rare. Maybe it's 118. That made the school rethink their evaluation of her, and the teachers at least stopped being mean to her. It was a different time.

  My son was constantly bullied, because he was quite childish, compared to other kids, but he found his niche in high school, in drama. He would know the entire script of every play they would do, and in Midsummer Night's Dream, he had a lead role (Theseus) and could compensate for someone 'blowing' their lines, in Elizabethan English. He knew everyone's role, and could step in immediately to take a part, if someone didn't show for rehearsal. He was just awesome in the role too. He won an award at school that year, for Best Shakespearean actor. It brought him a whole new level of respect from the other students.

  Even now, he knows every line in every movie or TV show, and can tell you anything about a book you've read (if he's read it too). He has an incredible memory. He wanted to be a police officer very badly, and went to college and completed his degree in criminal justice, but can't get hired by a PD. I think he comes off immature, but can't tell him that. He works as a security guard, and is good at it because he is so meticulous in his routine.

  His wife is a lab tech, and works with very complicated procedures at a hospital. She is the type you would expect to see bent over a microscope. My son absolutely adores her and thinks she is the best thing in the world. She feels the same about him, and I can see why she does. He is pretty wonderful, very handsome and she was likely never going to marry. Naturally her parents adore him too. They have 3 other daughters who have none of her traits. Viva la differance!!

  Edited by - mulan on 20 November 2002 19:24:24
• 

  Princess

  She isn't a proud mama or anything.

  I was reading the quote about being hyper verbal regarding Em and I was thinking that even though D isn't hyper verbal he does tend to go on and on about stuff without realizing that his audience is way bored with it all. He tends to go into minute detail and instead of summing up a conversation he quotes everyone word for word.

  I hope they get genetic counseling before having kids.

  Rachel
• 

  shera

  Good books that I have learned a lot from was ,Donna William book's.She is an austic woman who gives great insight into the austic world.

  http://www.donna.inuk.com/

  http://www.autismtoday.com/creative/donnawilliams2.html

  This was taken by one of her books

  In a world without windows, in the company of shadows,
  You know *they* won't forget you, they'll take you in.
  Emotionally shattered, don't ask if it mattered,
  Don't let it upset you, just start again.

  In a world under glass, you can watch the world pass,
  And nobody can touch you, you think you are safe.
  But the wind can blow cold, in the depths of your soul,
  Where you think nothing can hurt you till it is too late.

  Run till you drop, do you know how to stop?
  All the people walk right past you, you wave goodbye.
  They all merely smiled, for you looked like a child
  Never thought that they'd upset you, they saw you cry.

  So take advice, don't question the experts.
  Don't think twice, you just might listen,
  Run and hide, to the corners of your mind, alone,
  Like a nobody nowhere.

  - Donna Williams, from Nobody Nowhere.
• 

  Billygoat

  Mulan, thanks for sharing the info. Neil and I have a friend whose sister is exactly as you describe your DIL. She talks incessantly about things nobody really cares about...and...she never gets jokes. Or she takes offense to them because she doesn't think anything is ever funny. She is a very intelligent person, but her social skills are on the low end. I've always wondered if she would find someone who would love her for who she is. Thanks for giving me hope!
• 

  PopeOfEruke

  Our neighbours son has this disorder; his fixation is the rubbish bins. He is constantly filling them, moving them, smashing them, emptying one in to the other, taking the bins from all the other neighbours houses on rubbish collection day, and running after the rubbish truck....

  He is about 16 and has a job in the supermarket. And he is a nice friendly boy though he does suffer screaming tantrums occasionally....and he tends to play the same song over and over and over...

  Pope
• 

  Gamaliel

  Mulan,

  My youngest son has it. Wouldn't talk 'til he was three. Had the worst tantrums you ever saw when things wouldn't go his way or a routine was changed. Wouldn't respond appropriately socially. Couldn't understand why he couldn't also be the adult (give commands, demand obedience). His teacher told us yesterday that if he's interested in a subject, he learns it so well she'll let him teach the class (whales, ocean life, etc.). He'd constantly line things up. Obsessed on subjects like acorns, bugs, etc. Start a collection of something and never stop.

  We started looking for help for him at about 2 but you couldn't diagnose anything until he was 3. Even then, not even the specialists had heard of the syndrome. We're still getting special services for him in school 6 years later, but they are about to stop because his symptons are almost gone in the opinion of the school. He'll still need some help socially, but fortunately he is very high-functioning academically. He's gradually adding a excellent sense of humor to his social repertoire. Almost 10, he's still a bit awkward with some of his friends. As an adult, he'll still have to learn to make up for a lack of social skills through his other intellectual resources.

  Most importantly, he is very lovable now. At a very young age, he couldn't be held -- hated to be hugged. My wife knew something was wrong shortly after he was born, but it seemed that nothing could be known or done back then.

  Gamaliel
• 

  pettygrudger

  Gamaliel - are you comfortable with the school's decision that he no longer needs auxiliary services? They cannot make those kind of decisions for you. Especially in the areas of social skills, it has been my experience that most Aspergers/Autistic children need extra help all the way through their scholastic years - every little bit helps and they need all they can get. I hope you & your wife feel comfortable with the IEP and that you were the ones that made these decisions. As the parents - you have the say - no one else - especially not the schools.

  Rhonda (of the fights with the school districts every year class!)
• 

  iggy_the_fish

  Hi Mulan,

  My brother has Asperger's syndrome. The autism/asperger's newsgroup alt.support.autism is well worth a look.

  ig
• 

  bigred

  Hi, this is Mulan. Reached my posting limit today, so am using my husband's ID.

  I sure appreciate all the information you all have given me.

  When my son was little, he talked early, communicated well, and read early, and by age 5 was fluently reading. His Kindergarten teacher told me he was very right brained, and might have trouble in school because the schools are so left brain oriented. She was the same teacher Princess had for K., so knew our family, and she was older. She was the BEST thing for him that year. Most of his teachers were wonderful, and thought the world of him, because he was so cooperative and smart, but he had a terrible time making friends, and really had very few in his life, and suffered horrible bullying and teasing. The boys at the KH thought he was weird, but the little girls loved him. He was so nice, they would say. By the time he was 12, they were on to other friends. We all knew that would happen.

  In high school, he had two teachers that were outstanding, and recognized he had some difficulties, that other kids didn't have. They communicated with us regularly, and his Freshman English teacher paired him with a boy, who had moved here from Zaire, a missionary kid. He was a great friend to our son, and they were tight friends all through high school, and he was the best man when our son got married last year.

  His Drama teacher was by far the best influence on him, and the kids in the Drama class all through High School. They had a code of conduct in the Drama department, that you support each other, in all phases of your life, and school. That attitude spilled over into all his classes where these kids were with him, and made things more tolerable for him.

  I showed him all this information this week, and he is so grateful to know about it. He said it answers all the questions he has had about himself his entire life. When he was 17 he talked about suicide to end the torment he felt, because of the bullying he was still getting, by some of the kids.

  Many people pegged him as gay, and he knew he wasn't but it hurt him so much to have that torment by some of the jocks at school, only because he was different. I had a close friend, who was a counselor, tell me when he was 15 that he was definitely gay. I was surprised because he like a girl at the KH, and at school very much, and I knew he was not likely to be gay. Sensitive, yes, but he was a romantic, female loving boy. Even one of my nieces, who is also a HS counselor really thought he was gay.

  I am rambling, but I wanted you all to know how much I appreciate all this information. It is all new to me, and I would have loved to have had it when he was a little boy. I knew there was something different about him, but no one ever diagnosed this syndrome.
• 

  OrbitingTheSun

  Hi Mulan! I think it is great that you are so open minded and willing to explore explanations for your son's experience in life. People like you help others in similar situations to feel more comfortable and more willing to learn about their own children--so I commend you--and all of the other posters who have spoken up for our autistic friends and family!

  I worked for 3 years in a therapeutic autism program, and I have seen children from both ends of the autism spectrum. Developmental disorders are always difficult to deal with, but Asperger's can be particularly challenging because people do not always recognize them as "different." While individuals with more severe cases of autism are recognized as having a condition, many people with Asperger's are just considered "weird" and not shown any sympathy for their struggle.

  Fortunately, it sounds like your son has managed to overcome a number of the obstacles associated with this kind of condition. I wish you and your family the best, and hope that you continue to find consolation in this revelation.

  I, too, am always available to offer you information on autism and related pervasive developmental disorders...but it looks like there are a lot of other ladies on the board who have more experience than I do! -Mothers do know best!-