Kingdom Hall Football

by WildTurkey 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • WildTurkey
    WildTurkey

    Kingdom Hall Football

    Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing

    Quarterback Sneak - The bad JW leaving quickly after the meeting so the Elders dont counsel them.

    Draw Play - What many children do with the Watchtower during the study.

    Halftime - The period between the public talk and the Watchtower study when many choose to leave.

    Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) repeatedly during the meeting.

    Staying in the Pocket - thats when the Co visits, and the elders stay in their seats instead of talking at the back of the hall.

    Instant Replay - The Speaker gets lost on his outline and starts to repeat things he has already said.

    Trap - Youre called on to pray and are asleep.

    End Run - Getting out of KH quick, without speaking to any guest or JWs.

    Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the talk to affect you.

    Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.

    Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the talk is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

    Halfback Option - The decisionof 50% of the congregation not to stay for the Watchtower study.

    Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the Speaker goes "overtime".

  • TR
    TR

    LOL! So true!

    Crap! Now I'll not be able to watch a game w/out thinking of this!

    TR

  • nativenyr23
    nativenyr23

    LMAO!!!!! wild turkey.

    i FREQUENTLY referred to the song before the watchtower study as half-time. and i'd ask hubby "shall we leave at half-time today?"

    lol!!!!!

    thanks for the fond memory.

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    Screen Pass: Passing notes to your best friend seated behind you or (more daring) across the aisle.

    Backs Over The Middle: Manuever made to talk to the C.O. the first night of his visit.

    Dallas Cowboys: Manuscript talk - man, are they boring this season!

    Hail Mary pass: The speed with which a screaming child is passed to the parent at the end of the aisle during one of the Memorial night prayers. Followed closely by a 50-yard dash to the appropriate restroom.

    Nina

  • freedom96
    freedom96

    Wild Turkey-

    That is so right on!

    Funny!

  • WildTurkey
    WildTurkey

    lol, Those are good cruzanheart

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    Dallas Cowboys: Manuscript talk - man, are they boring this season!

    HAHAHAHA!!!!!! High five sweetie!

  • joannadandy
    joannadandy

    *sigh* Almost makes me want to go to a meeting again, just so I can watch the game be played.

    I said ALMOST!

    Edited by - joannadandy on 23 November 2002 0:25:50

  • LyinEyes
    LyinEyes

    I love these , they are so true. Our family became master of all of these techniques. Practice makes perfect. We were so good at it,,,,, sometimes they didnt even notice our family of five sneaking out during half time.

    See the way we did was this.......... durning the song,,,,,,, write a note to the oldest kid that we are going home, start gathering books and bookbags together, as you pretend to pay attention.

    Wait for the song, have the kids take the books and stuff to car and have the younger ones wait there.The oldest goes back to the seat for the last bag and check to see if any candy wrappers, incriminating notes, or any watchtowers draw on with Jesus wearing earrings are not left behind.

    After the song is over,,,,,,, act like you are going to the restroom,and hit the back door instead. They may see you going out, but since it is not a caravan of the whole family,,,,,, they think you are just stepping out to tend to an unruly child . Have each family member take their turn at doing this.

  • joannadandy
    joannadandy

    Lyin..will your family adopt me? No matter how much I begged my family NEVER left early...not once...

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