I've been enjoying Christmas for several years now but have never put up a tree.
Not that I have any lingering feelings against one in my home, it's just that I've never felt a tree or decorations to be of any importance compared to what Christmas really means to me. I could care less about the tree, it's how tight the gifts for the kids are packed under it. I don't see the decorations and symbols, I see the happy faces on the people I care about.
This year I decided to add a few magic points to my Christmas spirit. I bought a tree and some lights. Not a real tree. A real tree ain't gonna fit in my little coupe, and it definitely would suffer severe defoliation on the high-speed ride home. I bought a *faux* tree. A 3-foot-tall -- and let me tell you that these folks use the term "foot" very generously -- fiber optic tree. Well it's a start right? Hey don't knock it, once plugged in this little synthetic sapling is actually very pretty. And in the next couple of weeks when I finish shopping and the presents are packed and stacked tight, it will look 100 feet tall.
Ok, so I also had to 'neck it up a little too. I bought a 100-light stringer and put it in my apartment's unique ground-level skylight. I really learned to hate string lights in the half hour I spent trying to fit in flasher bulbs to get the damn thing to blink. I finally surrendered and settled for just having all the lights stay on. Put both tree and lights on a nifty little timer I bought at Lowe's and spent another 20 minutes trying to program it. Luckily, I already know how to program a VCR so I was slightly ahead on the learning curve.
Maybe next year I'll get a bigger tree.
I'm still tossing around the idea of buying some Christmas decorations and putting them up at the local Kingdom Halls one night. If I do, I'll be sure to take pictures to share.
Next step is wrapping up the shopping for the kids. No pun intended. Unfortunately I seem to have run short on ideas for a joke gift for my adopted nephew. I think I've told this one before but bear with me if you've heard it. Three years ago I gave him a Playstation. Put it in a Flowmaster Muffler box and gift-wrapped it. He tears off the paper, gives everyone a "what the hell is this?" look and tosses the unopened box aside. The next year I gave him another Flowmaster Muffler box, this time with an actual Flowmaster Muffler in it. When the paper came off, Josh just started laughing and said "you're not gonna get me with that again!", opened the box and again gave the "what the hell is this?" look. Last year he got a box 4 feet tall wrapped in 3 layers of pink Barbie gift wrap. Inside that box was another, also gift-wrapped. Then another, and another, and another, until he had to go through 7 boxes for his prize. Which was a Barney book that quickly hit the floor while he choked back his tears. Of course I'd cut out the inside of the Barney book to conceal the Harry Potter Playstation game he wanted.
This year I fear for my life, literally. Josh is now 12 and almost as big as me. I shudder when I think of the retaliation his fiendish little mind is plotting and realize that I can't seem to come up with something to top last year. His mom and dad are no help, I know they've got his back this year. Suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
Mike.