by animal 10 Replies latest jw experiences
Since I am home a few days, I figured I would try to post a new question and see what happens...
Were you a runaway from home, due to the JW's, or were you the parent of a runaway?
As many know, I was.... I split in 72 when I was 15, waiting for the world to end. I ended up in prison, lived on the streets, and tried/sold drugs to survive till I was 18 or so. To this day, I dont speak to my folks.
Any other stories?
Animal
Also... we have many elders here.... did you deal with any runaways in your term?
Animal
Good question, animal.
I'm sorry to hear about your past, but it seems that jws have their fair share of young ones doing things to get out of the cult religion.
I know through the years there have been several kids I knew that ran away from home. (Especially elder's homes that were too restrictive) Also, there are several suicide attempts that I'm aware of that happened in several different congos. (Ok, I'm not or never was an elder but was concerned for the young ones.)
We used to laugh and say that jw kids that left really really went bad. Well why not! Look at all the goofy stuff they were taught and they could see through the hypocrisy!
j2bf
Thanks Joy.. you are right on the money.
I had a short time at 17 when I was released from jail and was sent home.... moms hubby was an elder, and they took me before the elders..... and informed me that I was a "bad influence" and to keep away from the other kids in the congregation. Being the ass I was, I walked out of thier meeting. I think it was a few weeks later that I split again.
Several of my friends from that era are dead, self inflicted.
Animal
The only member of my family to run away from home was my Dad, when he was 13. Never went back, joined the Navy as soon as he could...and the military "blind obedience" training he got there was the pattern of his life for the next 50 years.
He's changed a lot over the last 10 years, but the emotional scars caused by his parents' rejection still run deep...very deep.
Some of those scars, as usual, were (inadvertently) passed on to us kids, and were borne with by Mom. I'm glad to say that we have all reached a point where we can acknowledge, without rancor, that Dad is doing the best he can. Not excuses, just reality.
Craig
My best friend growing up was reputed to have run away from home at the age of 17. Shortly after she "left Jehovah" (as her father stated it) he tried to put the moves on me, in my own house, and when I told him to "keep your hands to yourself" he made a big stink about imputing wrong motives to him (in front of my parents, the book study conductor, and everyone else that was there that night). I got lectured about having respect for my elders because I didn't want him touching me (he always had grossed me out).
It occurred to me several years later that my friend's older sister had done the same thing when she was 16 - suddenly ran away from home. The pattern repeated itself when a younger sister was about the same age. Oddly enough, the guy was DF'd for a period of time after each daughter ran away from home. It seemed to me that he was sexually abusing the girls, especially when I started recalling some of the conversations I had with my friend. She refused to be alone in the house with him from about the age of 14. One time she and I were sitting on the front step of their house, when her father came home and exposed his genitals to both of us as he approached us to enter the house. My friend begged me not to say anything, because whenever he got in trouble, the rest of the family paid for it. Her mom would show up to meetings wearing long sleeves in the summertime and sunglasses in the wintertime to hide the black eyes and bruises. Her brother got thrown down the stairs and had a broken leg for trying to protect their mom.
After she "ran away" (I really think she was "sent away" to get her out of that house), I never heard from her again, even though I asked her mom for an address so I could write to her. I think they just didn't want to give her the chance to tell what really happened. The family moved to another circuit after that, and I never saw them again.
Love, Scully
I had the most strict elder father on the face of the earth. I wasnt even allowed to say a boy was cute. He acted like anything to do with the opposite sex would somehow taint me , even thinking or speaking to boys was forbidden. The older I got 16 , 17 , that just got to be way too much... I mean it is natural to want to talk to boys , I lead a double life at school, and everyone knew not to call my house and ask for a date, or to talk to me when my dad dropped me off at school. Mom was different she even let a guy talk to me on the phone one time without telling dad, but later she used it agaisnt me when she got mad at me. My dad would beat my butt for the least little thing, and the humiliation was worse, the look on his face like I let him down broke my heart. But I can't explain to this day why I fear him so much. I took his beatings and they were pretty tough , but I have seen kids get it alot worse. I guess it was just another form of mind control.
Oh, how I wanted to grow up and get out of that house. I never once , not even once, entertained the thought of running away. He would find me no matter where I would have went anyway. That just was not an option. I was jealous of my friends who did run away, for they had the nerve I never did. I felt so helplessly stuck in that prision of a home. My senior year of high school I had a brand new mustang for my graduation present. I was to work in the office of my dad's right behind our house, as I had since i was 14 to pay for half of the car. On the last day of school, Dad told me my days would be full working in the office, something I detested. He made me have a nervous stomach and his temper was terrible. All my friends were going to college, off to Florida on a bus for a year in trip. I had to wave bye to them all and walk away with my dad back to our car, knowing my life , the little bit of my double life, normal teen life, was over. I had no retreat in school, no way to be connected to my friends anymore, they literally all left me behind, not knowing my life would get worse. My mom wasnt even at my graduation ,because she was stoned on her pain pills.
I seriously thought of driving that new white mustang over the railing of the bridge. I think it is so darn sad and I get mad now , that , that even crossed my mind. I felt so helpless and out of control with my life that I thought that was the only was to escape. I don't know why running away didnt cross my mind at all, I guess I thought my dad was so all powerful he would find me , so why try.
The wheels of life turned , and things changed but that is a whole different story, with a even sadder outcome. I wouldnt go back to being 18 for anything in my life , the things that happened after that paled in comparison. I am glad I am out of that town and away from all those memories. Moving away helped alot. Guess I was really "on the run " then. Now when things get boring or not the way I want them to go,I want to run..........lol a grown up wanting to run away ,with my family of course , but just run to a better place. But then it passes and I come back to my senses and know now , I have the power to make things better no matter where I am at.
Since moving to Arizona, I ran into one of the kids I was warned against corrupting. She is a few years younger than me, and I was wild about her back when I was home for the short time between my runaway episodes.
We compaired notes, and she had no idea what we went thru... the typical hush hush of family affairs in the JW's. She now understands why I did what I did. Funny tho, her family was "normal" by JW reasonings, yet they had thier own problems. Luckily, her folks didnt push them into baptism, so when they went wild (and they did), none of them were tossed aside like yesterdays garbage.
I relayed my background, to an extent, to my own kids... so they dont make the same mistakes I did while on my own. I also told them that running away from home was the best thing I ever did. They tend to agree.
Animal
Were you a runaway from home, due to the JW's
Guilty as charged in 1970-something 6? perhaps. It's all foggy now. I lived to many lives since then
Back in the early 60's, when I was 16, I ran away and married a "worldly guy". He was 16 also. His family knew what we were doing. We planned it for a Tuesday as my mom spent every Tuesday in field service [door knocking]. That way if the school called she would not be home to find out that I skipped school. A few days later I returned to get my clothes. Mom hid from me in the kitchen. She said it was like a death in the family.
