Thoughts

by Wolfy 14 Replies latest jw friends

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  donkey

  Wolfy,

  Thanks for sharing you feelings. Many of us here understand how you feel. The vulnerability and confusion can be rather overwhelming while you try to find direction in your life at the time of exiting. I can only offer one piece of advice that helped me to focus and see my way through the mine field you encounter after exiting: THINK and absolutely know that you have the right to believe anything you want to. I for my part refused to believe in smoke and mirrors again. I sought a path of truth as far as beliefs go - hence I demaned proof for my own satisfaction. But then everyone is different and while you might find others here who have ended differently to myself (an admitted atheist) when we debate or exchange ideas it is just like exercising to stay healthy.

  So do yourself a favor and use your freedom of thought, freedom to explore the REAL world and freedom to learn whatever you want to. There are many sites and people to stimulate your thinking - suprisingly most of mine were worldly folk but so many others here have been through the mill and they are here for you any time you need them - myself included.

  Another ASSinine comment from me...
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  Blueblades

  Hi! WOLFY,I do understand your thoughts and what you are trying to say.I have the same feelings and thoughts you have expressed here.Over 30yrs.I'm 60 yrs. old now.Wasted time ,energy and money.There is so much that is uncertain.Might I suggest a book that I read that vividly depicts the real-life dilemmas reflective Christians often face.Its "THE MYTH of CERTAINTY'.by Daniel Taylor.He affirms a call to throw off the paralysis of uncertainty and to risk commitment to God without forfeiting the God-given gift of an inquiring mind.He demonstrates how much we need question askers.I have read this book and still suffer the "Paralysis of Uncertainty".I have read many other books also and realize that recovery is going to take time.With the help of the many persons on this board there is a measure of relief from all who contribute their time and energy here to give true loving support for all the question askers.And I might add, that there are some who have been on this board for years reading the same kinds of questions and problems and yet continue to assist us who are new to this board and who are crying out for help.For all of you who have done so, I want to express my appreciation and let you know that your time and energy has not been wasted when you respond to the same questions and problems over and over for all of us who are reaching out to you.WOLFY, you said you having posted much,please continue to visit us and express yourself more ,it helps when we do so.Your post today has helped me to see that I'm not alone either.Take care .Blueblades
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  Joyzabel

  Welcome to the board, Wolfy.

  I was going to recommend you read Myth of Certainty by Daniel Taylor, also, but I see blueblades beat me to it.

  One of the best I got when first "fading" was to not even think about anything bible related for at least a year. Get to know who you are first, then maybe if you feel the need to get back into looking at things in life.

  Sit back and enjoy yourself here. At least you can let out your frustrations among friends.

  Hugs,

  j2bf
• 

  Iwasyoungonce

  Wolfy,

  I'm so sorry for your situation. I wish we were closer for coffee. I am not in your situation but I had to travel much of the same road with my wife and her family. It is so much harder when you have multi generations that will gang up on you. If you are like me you don't take well to bullies. That trait did not help me in my situation. It is so clear how much you love your wife. I love mine too. I helped my wife to get herself totally free by standing my ground even when it came to not backing down to her father. At the time she was stunned. No one had ever stood up to him in any way and not been hit for it. No one had ever argued with him and won the argument. I did both at once. No one ever told her parents No. No is a word that jw's do not seem to understand.

  It was quite liberating to get free and we have a closer relationship now. Steve Hassan has a new book out "Releasing the Bonds." I recommend it and have read it. It showed me all the things that I did horribly wrong with my jw family. I was just being who I am but, many of the things I did and said are part of the books programs. I am not telling you to do a SIA with your wife. That would be your choice. For me, although I have no regrets and could not have realistically gotten clear and free of the jw moronic way of having to live when you are out in reality, but your still tethered to the dock by family. I would have known that what I was saying will cause reactions A or B by a person that is under cult mind control and don't take it personally. I always did. I let my family make me feel like I was the one that was somehow in the wrong. It drove me to where sometimes I just wanted to leave. I wanted to leave before I got left. Well, I'm glad I stayed and stood my ground. It is worth it. My wife is, was, and always will be worth it. The jw's power is not legitimate. It is the fake power of a pathetic tyrant. That they have power in the sense of fear that they could divide your family so you had better remain subjugated to them shows how they are really devils.

  I do believe that your love for your wife is more real than any amount of promises that the wt has to offer. God willing she will see that too.

  Edited by - Iwasyoungonce on 1 December 2002 3:34:7
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  meadow77

  This is just my .02, but I think all religions are filled with truth and nontruths. Someone pointed out to me once that if you count scripture, the scripture directly in the middle of the bible says "It is better to trust in God, then in man." I think that God does everything on pourpose, and has a plan, always two steps ahead of everyone else. I am no tperfect, or anything close to it, but don't let religion turn you off to God. Even the JW's can have certain aspects correct. That doesn't mean they speak for God. Only God speaks for God. I don't entertain thoughts that my opinion could mean much to you, but I just want to offer some friendly advice. Read God's word and let him tell you what you can trust from what you have learned, and what he wants to teach you himself. It seems to me that the best trick the devil has, is false religions that poison you on God's word altogether. Forget men, and let his word speak to you. That's the best advice I have.