by NaruNaruChan 26 Replies latest jw experiences
Welcome to JWD, NaruNaruChan!
You will find lots of real friends here. They will like you for who you really ARE and not for what you "believe". If your WT friends are really your friends, they may choose to still be your friend - if you provide a way that is safe for them so that they will not get Df'ed themselves for talking to you. Send them a note and arrange a time and place away from "spying eyes" and see if they respond. If not, they were not really your friend anyway.
NewLight2
Naru!!!
Welcome to the board!! This is one of the best places you could be to get suport and healing!
Although you sound very together with your life outside the org.
Your meeting sounds very familiar to me as mine name called...laughed....and even cut down one of my children! All for "LOOSE CONDUCT" It was as "sf" put it...spiritual rape....and reading your post and other peoples on this board often brings me to tears.
The WONDERFUL thing is.....is that all the people who I was taught I should never speak with are there for me! All the so called Apostates are willing to give me a hand and pull me up.
I do have an unusual case though where a few JW friends stay intouch with me and even do things with me...out of townlol
They know my circumstances and felt the disfellowshipping was UN-RIGHTIOUS and so choose to be more like Jesus and reach out to me and my children.
I am attending meetings in a new cong where it seems they go by Jesus teachings more. Alot of them say what the Watchtower writes is advice and commentary and that to not have MERCY is a sin. I was so impressed I attend every meeting prayerfully and looking at the WT lesson as advice and commentary makes it more enjoyable! Where as before it was a presure because, I felt I had to do it the bibles way PLUS what the governing body said. It was like having Torah and Kabalah or something....you know? I have been to Jewish sites where they say and The Great Rabbi Finklestien of Rochester says.... And you have to do it if your a good jewish person.....That's how it felt. So I hope this cong is 4 reals because I so enjoyed todays Watchtower thinking of it as advice and not Ironclad LAWS!
Anyway neighbor!!! Sorry for your bad experiance...we all understand here....and welcome to the world outside!!
Ty for listening.
bye bye 4 now!
agape,
Utopian_Raindrops
Welcome to the board NaruNaruChan!
I think you'll find a lot of support here. I'll say one thing that I hope isn't too insensitive: Man did they do you a favor. It sounded to me like you were content to go along with the program. There is the outside shot that you didn't actually lose those friends - but maybe you did. Its not so bad here on the outside.
Hey Naru, grab a copy of Dylans Blood on the Tracks and play Idiot Wind real loud. It WILL help!
Pope
I been double-crossed now for the very last time and now I'm finally free,
I kissed goodbye the howling beast on the borderline which separated you from me.
You'll never know the hurt I suffered nor the pain I rise above,
And I'll never know the same about you, your holiness or your kind of love,
And it makes me feel so sorry.
Idiot wind, blowing through the buttons of our coats,
Blowing through the letters that we wrote.
Idiot wind, blowing through the dust upon our shelves,
They're idiots, babe.
It's a wonder they can even feed themselves.
Dear NaruNaruChan;
Welcome! Your experience was very similar to mine. I sent them a DA letter that was just two lines long telling them that since my life plan no longer fit their religion I didn't want to be known as a JW any longer. Period. They were the ones who called me up, wanted to meet, wanted to discuss, holding out some hope that we could work things out. I didn't see how they would ever compromise. I didn't see why after living my life for me for 35 years they would back off now and let me make my own decisions, but I maybe they had some new light on the subject since they were always changing their doctrine. My friends told me not to bother going, but at the time I was trying to buy more time to make progress with my family, so I went. It was much as you described, although they didn't call me names.
To my family I sent much longer letters explaining my decision not to be lonely anymore. They were never around much back then anyway and I had to take responsibility for my own happiness in life, or lack of it. They must have shared every bit of my letters with the elders, even though we were in other congregations, cause they knew all about it when I showed up at the meeting with them.
So they dilly-dallied by talking to the Circuit and District Overseers, writing to the Society, etc. I didn't let that stop my plans. I kept on seeing my future husband. It was about 5 weeks later when they finally wrote me off and cut me loose.
Tammy
Just imagine if you'd known about this BEFORE you got involved.
We need to warn people that when it comes to JWs, once you get in - even a little, it's almost impossible to get out. Certainly impossible to get out in any honest, reasonable or respectful way.
And whatever friends you might first think you're making there, they're just booby traps. Ready to drop you like a hot potato if you don't 'submit' to the WTS as if it were God himself.
Hi NruaNaruChan and welcome to the board
I am sorry to hear of the crap that you had to go through but I am not surprised one little bit!!. They say they are here to help and understand like caring shepherds but I feel the opposite. Not ONCE have they ever cared for me like a shepherd cares for the sheep.
You will find help and comfort on this board. If you are having a bad day, please feel free to email me
Regards
Kelps (who wishes she could offer more help)
Hey All,
Thank you so much for all your encouraging thoughts. It's funny... leaving was the easy part, it's dealing with being away from all the other witnesses that were my friends that's hard. Here's the really funny thing. My best friend still talks to me, but it's from a distance, you know? We have classes together, and she'll speak to me in class, but if I run into her in public, she refuses to associate with me. I know why, but man, it sucks. Tomorrow, I think I'll end my friendship with her for good, because that's the most half-assed shit I have ever seen. Maybe I'll post a new topic about this and see what y'all think of it that way. (Smiles) It's crazy how good I feel now, though. I remember feeling totally depressed about leaving the org. in the beginning, but now... now I don't care. ^_^ I mean, I have my days but not nearly as bad as in the beginning.
PopeofEruk, I'll check out that song. ^_^ heh heh, looks like a winner.
SMILE!
P>I have had almost exactly the same experience as you have. ; Ok I will start in brief, man I know where you are coming from, I was brought up a JW and finally got diss'd in Jan 2002 and it is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. ; That probably sounds awfull and apostilic but I cant help it. ; I had a hell of a lot of friends and my Mum and stepdad were both witnesses also. ; I am also a Homosexual and settled with my partner. ; I actually had to endure three meetings with the elders, I told them about me being gay but they still wanted to try and turn me around, printing things off for me to study to make me realise that it was me that had made the mistake and I could in fact change my sexuality (DAH ! if i had of know that in the beginning) in the end they realised I think that they were flogging a dead horse and kicked me out. ; I had a really tough few months after that for various reasons and began to think that maybe I had made a mistake, bear in mind you are not allowed to have friends outside of the organisation and I had been in since a baby so didnt really know that many people in the world. ; Fortunatly I had made some friends and they turned out to be really good friends and stood by me and helped me through the difficult situation. ; Since leaving different things have come up in my life leading me to ask various questions about their beliefs and I actually now feel that I was brainwashed. ; It makes me so angry to think that they have wasted so much of my life, on the other hand I am looking to the positive side of things, I get to have my first Christmas this year with the person who I love and want to be with. ; I dont have to hide things anymore I can be me. ; In the congregation I wasnt exactly a brilliant Christian, just the average I guess, prayers at the meetings etc, my step father who got into the house owned by my mum, got it repossessed, was an alcoholic, beat me and my mum up and just about everything else, can you believe the guy was also a pioneer. ; The elders rather than sorting him out actually came over and reproved my poor old mum for hitting him in self defence. ; </P>
I have learnt a lot from the JW's not what they teach but I have gained life experience from them it has taught me how to be a better person.
It makes me so angry the way they work, you look at what they tell you, if you leave the religion you will never make real friends outside, you will never be happy and you will never have a happy relationship (let alone with the same sex) but I look at my life and where are the friends that would of stood by me as my "True friends" - Gone but the "Worldly" ones have ALL stood by me and helped me through really rough times. The relationship thing, well my Mum and stepfather both witnesses argued all the time, they were not happy, they hated each other in fact, he used to get drunk and beat us, he was the cause of our house being repossed, due to his selfishness and laziness - look at me, I am am in a relationship where I am happy and dont have the problems they had.........and as for the happiness - need I say anymore, I am the happiest I have ever been.
I could sit here all night and tell you about my experiences including a call I recieved when I was in the Police from the Grandaughter of an elder in my ex cong and the predicament she was in............ha need I say anymore.
Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read and I hope all you that manage to get out can get your lives sorted out aswell.
NNC
Howdy! Welcome to our world. I'm sorry for what they did to you. You didn't deserve it. I can't imagine getting my jollies from the details of someone's "confession". Absolutely sick. But I'm glad you're here. You chose an interesting name. Do you mind me asking what it means?
Matt
Howdy to you too! It sounds like you discovered what it took me 20 years to discover: JWs do nothing but lie. I say if you've found happiness with your partner, then who I am to sit in judgment? Good for you! Feel free to tell some of your stories. I'd like to hear them.
Peace,
Chris
