That is really great Joel that you are going to seek out new friends, to me it has been such a big help. When I was a witness, I didnt have many friends and really felt I didnt need them. We were in a rural congregation with some very old folks, whom I loved, but there wasnt much interaction. We were the only young ones in our congregation and the only ones with kids too. The kids were very lonely, and I never made them stop having kids to play with in the neighborhood, thank God.
Joel, you will probably always cry at times for those you have lost, that is natural and actually says alot about you. It seems so easy for some of our blood relatives to throw us away because of the WT, but at least it makes us feel better that we would not be that way. We can't make people love us or even make them choose between us and the WT, we all know who they will usually choose.
I have been so hurt over losing my mom and dad, that I was living in the past and crying all the time, I got seriously depressed and couldnt see what was right in front of me. The family I have now, has always been there and will always be there, I see that I have enough in this house to make me happy. I am moving back to a little town that we lived in for years and the kids will be back with all of their friends and I hope to try to make some new friends with my neighbors that I never associated with before. Maybe I will even go to a church to socialize with some of them, I just feel a need to be around more people too.
I thank God for my friends here, and without them, leaving the JW would have been almost impossible. They gave me strength, understanding, friendship, advice, and have listened to all my crys. This is something new to me, I never had such unconditional love as I have now.
Keep up the forward thinking Joel, and don't feel too bad if you cry still for those you miss, you will from time to time, and that is ok. As long as you make at least 3 steps forward and one back every now and then, you are still moving on , and that is what matters.
Hugsssssss and wishing you all the happiness in the world,,,,,,,,,,,,dede