Okay, folks, first let me explain something I didn't mention earlier. When we talked about what she was doing, I said point-blank to her, "You were casting for my heart, weren't you. That palm grasp was symbolic of taking my heart," and she replied that she was wanting the goddess to heal me of the deadness that I mentioned, the inability or unwillingness to love and commit to love as it relates to a one-to-one committed relationship. Of course she would like to have my heart; this was not a secret to me. But the gesture was not intended as possessive. It was intended to be healing.
I can give the benefit of the doubt on that. She's a sweet, unassuming woman and not at all selfish, from what I've seen. I certainly don't fault her for wanting a relationship with me; I'm a pretty neat guy, overall.
avishai, she is more goddess-oriented partly because she relates better to a goddess than to a male-dominant figure, due at least in part to issues from an abusive husband in her past.
SS and Sirona, of course we're in agreement. Anything that happens in my mind originated in my mind. Nobody plants electrochemical surges in this ol' boy!
Sirona, thanks for your astute observations. I agree with you that spiritual healing is done by the individual, not by others. Interesting side note: yesterday when she came to visit, she brought Scott Cunningham's book with her. She said it had some good basic details for wands.
Robynand Silverleaf: thanks! I think I've got it in control. She doesn't mean me any harm, and she doesn't want a love that she forced unnaturally. We've discussed the situation and I'm happy with the outcome.
Sixy, re context: yea, verily.
hooberus: thanks for sharing, man. Blessed be. I mean may you have peace. Or something like that. Hey! Shelby's not the only one hearing voices now. Does this mean I can declare myself a prophet, too? O god, I'm sooooo humble, I'm nothing but a good-for-nothing slave, y'all don't listen to me, it's my master's voice, I just repeat what I'm told...
Nah. Never mind. Not my style. (There ya go, LifesWaterFree, bait. Chomp. Which way will she go? Which way will she go?)
Spud Mama: it's not up to me. Believe it or not, I really do engage in these dating scenarios with the door left open and, perhaps, even a bit of hope, for the connection that becomes the one-and-only. But I can't force it, and I won't pretend to have found something I haven't. As with the Christian God, so with true love: I've stopped actively seeking, but I'm right here and listening any time either one wants to contact me.
truthseeker1: I reached into my cloak for my wand of lapiz lazuli, but the charges were all used up, so I quickly quaffed a potion of iron heart for my turn.
About the wands, Sirona:
I don't know anything about them. I haven't studied wicca; she has. I saw some "magick wands" for sale on a website and they looked cheesy and amateurish, and I thought to myself that, strictly from a craftsmanship standpoint, I could do much better. So I asked her about wands.
Naturally, if we were going to make wands, we'd want them to be the product for which there is a true market. That would be, I believe, "magick wands" rather than just "pretty looking sticks". I, personally, understand your point and even agree with you about charging a wand with your own energy. I suspect, however, that there are many who do not have confidence in their own energy and who would be interested in having a wand charged with the energy of someone who is confident, whose energy is not in doubt.
Still, as I said, I know nothing about the making and charging of wands. She explained to me that wands have to be charged. There was something about the power inherent in each kind of wood, and complementing it with ornaments or carvings that enhance that power; runes about health carved on a wand of good health, for example.
For me, it was just a passing thought: "I could make better wands than that crap with little effort. And look what they're selling for! Could this be a lucrative side business?" Thank you for your thought that there might be more of a market for other things. I'm not a blacksmith, though taking up that craft as a hobby did cross my mind... I just don't have the time, and I've already got quite a bit invested in tools, time and skills with wood; so athames isn't feasible. She tells me, though, that there's a need for ornamental wooden boxes... that's right up my alley.
Anyways, I don't care one way or the other about the charging of the wands. It's just that, if we make them and we say they're magickal, I want them to really have been through the proper rituals/procedures/whatever to make them what we say they are. I doubt seriously that I'll really follow through on this wand business. Boxes, now, that I might do. With brass or bronze hinges and corners, and little keyed latches... I can get into that!
Edited by - COMF on 4 December 2002 20:33:44