I WAS BORN INTO THE WITNESSES IN 1962, I WAS DISFELLOWSHIPED WHEN I WAS 18, BECAUSE I DECIDED TO MARRY A CATHOLIC. I GUESS THEY DIDNT LIKE THAT. DIDNT FEEL TOO BAD THOUGH, HAD ONE FOOT IN AND ONE OUT. AND MY PARENT STILL KEPT IN TOUCH, FROM TIME TO TIME.
OUR FIRST SON WAS BORN 4 YEARS LATER, AND THINKING I HAD TO TEACH OUR SON ABOUT GOD, WHICH IN IT SELF IS NOT A BAD THOUGHT, SO THE ONLY THING I NEW WAS THE JW'S TEACHING'S, AND YES I WENT BACK.. IT TOOK THEM 11 MONTHS TO DECIDE WEATHER THEY WOULD REINSTATE ME, 11 MONTH'S OF NO ONE TALKING TO ME, NO ONE COMING TO SEE MY NEW BABY, ALLWAYS LEAVING BEFOR THE MEETING WAS COMPLETELY OVER, SO AS NOT TO FEEL ANY MORE HURT THEN NESSECARY. AFTER I WAS REINSTATED I PROCEEDED TO RAISE OUR 3 CHILDREN AS JW'S. MY HUSBAND DID NOT OBJECT, SO THERE WAS NO PROBLEM.
NO PROBLEM'S, UNTIL MY HUSBAND STARTED TO STUDY WITH THE ELEDER'S. I WAS SO EXCITED I THOUGHT FINALLY WE WERE GOING TO BE THE FAMILY I DREAMED OF. I DREAMT, THAT I WOULDNT HAVE TO GO TO THE KINGDOM HALL 3 TIMES A WEEK, AND STRUGGLE WITH MY SCREAMING KIDS ALONE. (I SPENT SO MUCH TIME IN THAT BACK ROOM ) I TOO DREAMT, THAT I WOULDNT HAVE TO CONDUCT OUR FAMILY STUDIES, WEARING THAT STUPID CURCHIF ON MY HEAD, HE COULD DO IT, I DREAMT, ALL THE DREAMS A "SINGEL" WOMEN OF GOD'S ORGINIZATION COULD DREAM.
I SAT ON THE BACK STAIRS EVES DROPPING ON ALL MY HUSBANDS STUDIES, ONE OF HIS STUDIES STOPPED VERY SHARPLY, WHEN MY HUSBAND PROCEEDED TO TELL THE ELDERS THAT THIS IS NOT THE SAME BIBLE TEACHING THAT HE WAS TAUGHT, AND HE ASKED THEM TO LEAVE UNTIL HE WAS SURE THAT THIS WAS THE TRUTH...SO MUCH FOR MY DREAM.
MY HUSBAND STARTED COMING HOME FROM THE LIBRARY ( HE DID AN ALL OUT SEARCH) WITH BOOKS THAT WROTE ABOUT CULTS, AND THERE WERE JWS IN THE CONTEXT OF ALL THE BOOKS, I WAS VERY UPSET WITH HIM, I TOLD HIM I WOULD NOT LOOK AT THOSE BOOKS. HE DIDNT PUSH IT, HE ONLY VERY CLEVERLY STARTED TO LEAVE THESE BOOK'S AROUND THE HOUSE, WIDE OPEN. HE EVEN LEFT THEM IN THE TEA TOWEL DRAWER, OPEND. MY CURIOSITY GOT THE BETTER OF ME, AND I READ , AND READ, UNTIL I THOUGHT I WOULD GO CRAZY. I DID THIS FOR 1 YEAR, THEN I TOLD THE ELDERS THEY COULD TAKE THESE LIES AND KEEP THEM, I AND MY CHILDREN WERE LEAVING. I TOLD THEM THAT I NO LONGER BELIEVED THAT WE HAD THE TRUTH.I TOLD THEM THAT I STILL LOVED GOD BUT NOT THE ORGINIZATION. I WAS DISFELLOWSHIP THAT COMING SUNDAY. I HAVE LOST ALL MY FAMILY AND CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. I HAVE BEEN NOTED AS AN "APOSTATE", ( I DID TRY TO TELL OTHERS OF WHAT I READ, OOP'S) I HAVE SUFFERD FOR MY CHOICE, AS ALOT OF YOU HAVE, I HURT FOR MY FAMILY, AT TIMES I AM LONELY, IN ALL THIS I HAVE NEVER ONCE REGRETED MY CHOICE. I HAVE NEW FRIEND'S, AND FAMILY NOW. MOST IMPORTANTLY I AM FREE, FREE TO CHOOSE WHAT TO BELIEVE, WHO TO WORSHIP, AND HOW MANY DAYS IN A WEEK I WANT TO GO TO CHURCH, WITH NO GUILT, AND NO SCREAMING KIDS. THAT WAS IN 1994.
SINCE THAT TIME MY HUSBAND LEFT OUR FAMILY,( NOT FOR ANY RELIGIOUS REASON'S) MY PARENTS ARE CONVINCED, THAT I HAVE LOST JEHOVAHS PROTECTION, AND WILL CONTINUE TO LOOSE. I TELL THEM THAT I COULD LOOSE IT ALL, AND I WOULD NEVER GO BACK, FOR I KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT JW'S, HOW COULD I GO BACK AFTER KNOWING WHAT I DO???
I HAVE NOT MEET AN EX JW IN THESE YEARS OUT, THAT WOULD BE NICE. TO TALK OF THING'S THAT SO MANY DONT UNDERSTAND, I HOPE TO GET TO KNOW SOME OF YOU.........................HOPE IT WAS NOT TOO LONG.