Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
Funny Instructions
by WildTurkey 10 Replies latest jw friends
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WildTurkey
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recoveringexjw
i laughed so hard i almost shit my pants.
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Swan
OHHHHHH! That was so funny! It's hard to stop laughing. Thank you!
Tammy
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LyinEyes
Omg,,,,,,,,, seriously laughing my butt off now....... Now i will be looking at all directions on the back of things to see how stupid they are,,,,,,, Ihave a new hobbie!!!!!!!
The sweddish chainsaw one made me laugh out loud.
Darn, I better start reading the instructions on things ,or I could lose a limb.
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ring
LOL, those are pretty good, thanks WT
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heathen
Oh man you mean you are not supposed to fly in the superman costume? Try to ruin my fun will ya
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ugg
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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Been there
I was laughing so hard I had tears. Too funny WT.
This isn't really funny but it brings to mind, a beach ball I had bought for the kids at a company picnic. It had "Not to be used as a life saving device" IN (it had to be) 20 different languages all over the ball.
Then there is our (very weird) safety guy at work who was in the kitchen making toast. He seriously looked at me and said, "This is HOT, I'm amazed they don't have to put a Warning Label on it". I just looked at him and said "John, it's freakin toaster, it's suppose to be HOT, if it's not.... it's broke. GET A LIFE". I could maybe see him thinking it, but to say it out loud, and mean it?????????? I have so much fun with him.
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roybatty
If I remember correctly, the the Superman custom one was the result of some kid putting on the custom and jumping from a second story window thinking that he could fly. Bummer.
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LovesDubs
ohmyGODDDDDDD.....Im laffing SO HARD...TEARS TEARS TEARS!!! thanks!!