shunners in hospital

ChrisVance

What noidea is going thru got me to thinking what I'd do if one of my family members who shuns me, that's most of them, were really sick and in the hospital. Several years ago my daughter was really sick and in the hospital. I didn't go see her and I've often wondered whether I did the right thing. Being an xjw is so conplicated.

Vivamus

I don't think there is a simple answer to a question like that. I depends on so many things... what was the relationship like before the DF..... So many things that can vary.

I guess the most important thing is this. We are shaped by our actions, so when we do something, ask yourself "is this the person I want to be, will this shape me postively, or negatively". and make a decision based on that. Above all, be true to yourself, and try to have no regrets in life.

larc

When my mother was ill, my JW sister helped my wife and I in caring for my mother. My sister has communicated with my wife and I ever since, though she had minimal contact with us for 15 years prior to my mother's illness. So, it was a good thing that we contacted my sister and asked for her help at that time. I believe the Witnesses are allowed to ignore the shunning policy if there is a family emergency. So, my advice is to test them on it in such circumstances.

Elsewhere

I think their rule about being able to see family in and emergency is cruel and sick.

My family shuns and hurts me at every opportunity... however, when someone falls ill or dies, then it is ok to talk to me.

That is just sick and cruel. They are saying "I hate you unless someone is dieing".

Pleasuredome

'conquer evil with good'

els

For years now my family has been kind of ignoring me unless I take the initiative and get together with them. But everytime one of my parents is sick then they want me around, partly because I have a flexible work schedule and can provide rides to doctors, etc. It's really hard though because it's like they expect me to be able to turn my feelings on and off depending on whether they need me. Now I am being shunned and I don't know if they will call if something is wrong. It hurts to know that they might not but maybe it's better if they don't. els

Iwasyoungonce

Pleasuredome
'conquer evil with good'

You are wise.

Kindness is better for the heart. But with the Jehovah Witnesses kindness is often irrelevant. So it is the ex Jw that matters. Do what you want to do. Do what will help you to live with your actions. The worst thing to do is to let them have any power over you. If any elder ever gets in my way again they had best get a bed for him too. Any jw family same game. I will respect them, I don't need to ever see anyone again; Alive or Dead. I have seen/delt with them enough for a life time. But if it was my child, I would go. Always. If it was my mother or father, I would go. My wife has said that if she is hurt to call her JW family so I will, for her, not for them, and not for me, for her. Shunning is for cowards.

Elsewhere

I'm sick of the pain my family inflicts upon me... i'm getting to the point where I would prefer to never see or hear from them again.

I just want them gone so the pain in gone.

Screw 'em... I'll find a new family.

Big Tex

Elsewhere

I haven't talked with my family in over 10 years. Best thing I ever did. I don't miss them. I don't think about them. I don't know or care what they're doing. They're miserable human beings (JWs naturally). My children have all sorts of aunts and uncles now that really care about them. In fact we had a big Thanksgiving dinner and had them all over. It's our family. Okay so we're not related by blood, but we all care about each other. Isn't that what family is supposed to be about?

Tashawaa

Every situation is different, but I always think "they're shunning me doesn't mean I have to shun them" so I email, send letters, phone, etc. No one has told me not to, and I'm not rude or "in your face over it". I want to keep doors open to them in case they ever leave the Witnesses or like your situation, are in the hospital.

shunners in hospital

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