Poster desperately needs support and assistance (page 3)

Prisca

What happens if I have a similiar problem in reverse????

Debz, meet Refiners Fire. Refiners Fire, meet Debz.

Debz

Goddammit...lolololol

Oh well back to my reading and netting..lololol

In fact a BBQ sounds Ok..Thanks Prisca........had a good laff ...lololol

Was worth a try!

hippikon

Whats your swiss bank account number - I will also send a free blow job coupon

Farkel

Promiscuous sex is not all that bad. May you have plenty of it in your life!

However, and this is a BIG however: simple every-day farts can mess up everything for you:

Farts are so bad that many of them qualify for SuperFund money and are a danger to society. Promiscuous sex is far better by comparison, IMHO. Sex doesn't kill endangered species. Farts can kill just about everything, even dead things. Farts have been known to kill ROCKS and as far as we know ROCKS are really dead, or at least about the most stupid thing around!

And nothing can ruin a good sex session more than a fart which contains enough methane gas at times to kill an entire city. I know. I fired off one of those suckers once and my babe of the moment (this was one of those "meaningful one-night stands" kind of date) not only left my place, but she left the country. Last thing I heard was she was still on oxygen and trying to get her lungs back in proper order.

Poor girl. Never underestimate the power of a fart, folks. They'll mess you up!

Farkel

wednesday

this is so amusing. You made me think of the woody allen film where he and his wife can only have good sex if it is out in public. Or the one where he has been having oral sex with this woman so long his jaws are in a permenent pucker. lol

Englishman

Q. Why are children just like farts?

A. Your own are quite sweet, everyone else's stink!

Englishman.

Farkel

Refiners Fire,

I know your thread was made in jest, and so is mine, so don't think I'm the least bit serious with it:

You could always blow yourself, you know. After all, who knows more about what you like than you? If you have a back problem or a little tiny penis problem, I suggest you do not try this at home, though.

Farkel

Scully

Farkel writes:

And nothing can ruin a good sex session more than a fart which contains enough methane gas at times to kill an entire city. I know. I fired off one of those suckers once and my babe of the moment (this was one of those "meaningful one-night stands" kind of date) not only left my place, but she left the country. Last thing I heard was she was still on oxygen and trying to get her lungs back in proper order.

Love, Scully

Farkel

Scully,

: <making a mental note to never ever become Farkel's "babe of the moment">

No worries. I'm so anal, I haven't fired off one of those rockets in years! If I ever had the urge to do so, George Bush would use it as an excuse to attack Iraq. And if he didn't attack Iraq, they'd all be killed anyway. Even anal folks have to let off "steam" so to speak. The CIA has invited me to visit Iraq and for some strange reason, they've offered me lots of tacos and refried beans. I wonder why they do this. Are they trying to "arm" me in this possible war with Iraq? I simply don't know.

Farkel

Edited by - Farkel on 8 December 2002 5:39:11

refiners fire

Farkel. Regrettably my own situation is not so retentive. Every morning at 6, 30 am, like clockwork, I wake in a agony of cramp, and stagger, doubled over into the bathroom where I send forth a trumpet blast to greet the morning. Numereous blasts. And always, invariably, as the trumpet blares my mind is drawn to that old song "Indian love call' ( you know that one in "Mars Attacks" that makes the martians heads explode?) Anyway.. I (under my breathe) sing ........ "When Im callin Yooo oooo OOOOOO"

Im always prompted to do that, every morning. Its a ritual.

Poster desperately needs support and assistance

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