by JH 15 Replies latest jw friends
I goofed big time;
i thought it was the truth, I thought it was a clean organization, and that they had all the answers, --in a sense they do-- but it's their answers. I guess it is was easier for them to look up any information.
Edited by - imanaliento on 8 December 2002 11:43:12
Damn LB, you stole my line. Except for the man part.
I really believe it was because I didn't have any religious background. I had been a believer all my life but the only Church background I had growing up was when I attended to Baptist Church, just down the road from my house. I was in the Church Chorus, I almost got baptized but something stopped me. I believe what the Bible says about not being partial and I saw to much prejudice in the Baptist Church, so I left. That was one of the first things that caught my attention with the JW's, they claimed to be impartial. Oh well, live and learn........
I grew up in the First Assembly of God church (offshoots of the Pentecostals, for those that don't know) and pretty much left that in my teens. Throughout the years, I attended and tried many churches, Baptists, Catholics (being married to one for 12 years), Lutheran, etc, etc, etc. All seemed to be missing something.
One fateful day, when I was in an especially down time in my life, there came a knock on the door and lo and behold, there were a couple of JWs. I had always avoided them like the plague and even ridiculed them often. But, feeling down and lonely, decided to talk to them this time. This led to return visits and gradually, a Bible Study (actually, a study of the Live Forever book). Everything was no neatly packaged and sounded so appealing, especially for one feeling very down, I fell for it, hook, line and sinker. The clincher was when I discovered they did not believe in the trinity, as I never have.
After a little less than 4 years studying, I submitted to the subtle pressures and love bombing and was dipped baptized. Shortly after, things changed. All of a sudden, they owned me, worse than when I was in the Army. Where everything was encouraged and complimented before, now, it was never good enough. Even my getting remarried to a JW was frowned upon apparently, as almost immediately, I had elders and elderettes interfering in the house and marriage. I was reduced to a bill payer and not the head of the house. Going inactive just made it worse and disassociating myself ended it.
My last thread to the JWs was cut when I received my finalized divorce papers last month.
So, why did I become a JW? Hey, we all have done some pretty stupid things in our lives, right? For me, I would rather another tour in Vietnam than ever set foot in a Kingdom Hall again. Thank God there are erasers on pencils to erase our mistakes.
Lew W
My parents forced me to go to meetings and to profess to believe as they did. Any hint that I did not was met by violent bursts of anger from my father and crying and depression from my mother.
Certainly the perfect circumstances under which to create a spiritual path for oneself.
I was raised a witness.
I began slowly drifting when I married a Catholic.
After I had my daughter, I began studying to become baptized because my family convinced me that she would be killed in armageddon if I didnt. The whole, "Well even if you dont care about your life how can you live with yourself knowing that your daughters death will be your fault".
So the studies began. Most of them consisted of me expressing my doubts and asking for answers that they couldnt give me.
My grandfather died during surgery when he refused a blood transfusion and this is when I really began doubting, actually knowing in my heart that what they are teaching can not be from God.
After reading more of the bible, without the aide of a Watchtower, I began noticing major contradictions. I then went to the book store, looked up "Jehovahs witnesses" on their topic list. I was floored when I saw this neverending list on the subject. I ordered about 15 books, among them "Crises" and "Questions for Jehovahs Witnesses" and well, here I am....
I went to the meetings with my mother because it was better than staying home alone with my sexually abusive father.
I always enjoyed reading the Bible and when the meetings got boring, I would just read my Bible and make notes about any impressions or questions and look them up later. (I could read at 3 years old.) I made Bible drawings too as well and entertained my siblings so my mother could listen.
During my growing up years I attended several other religious groups. They all had their flaws. The JWs seemed to have the least.
I hear the pain of many posting here about negative effects of association with the WTS. It reminds me of how I felt about my abuse from my father. I felt something was stolen that could never be replaced, and it had been. But I wasn't going to let the rest of my life be stolen from me. So mourn the days and events in the WTS, if there is anything to be learned from it, learn it, then figuratively let it go, get rid of it, bury it, burn it, kick it far away.
Blondie(who realizes this takes more than a day)
