Change is good

joelbear

I hate change. I think that is one reason why I mourn so much for the past. I think instead of wishing for my life to return to a certain era I should be thankful for the friends I have met and the experiences I have had because of change.

Matty

It's true that when you have a bad experience the results from it can be positive. You find out who your friends truly are, you learn from the experience and become a better person for it - you become more tolerant and understanding of other people.

breeze

That is why so many philosopers seek their HORIZONS.....It is their future that can be dealt with....

Saith the almighty one....OOPS!!!

Sirona

Changing is growing and learning. Without growing and learning it is more or less impossible to cope with life.

I hate change aswell, but I realised that it wasn't change itself, it was the feeling of insecurity and fear that change brings. I've found it helpful to meditate on the fact that my state of wellbeing is not dependent upon things remaining the same or upon things changing - my wellbeing can be outside of those things.

It is hard to accept change - but remember that change can lead to a place where you can really be happy.

Sirona (who has spent much time with Yoda )

breeze

Isn't it the unknown...that scares us all....??

but change it has an exciting aspect to it....RIGHT....???

Gig

Don't hate it, embrace it. Anytime you're not sure what to do, or are doing something you're not sure about...your mind is working, you're learning, you're paying attention, you're using critical analysis, you're independently thinking, you're alive. The uncertainty will pass along with the insecurity, and if it doesn't...stop association with the WT.

JAVA

Change is . . . well a change. Change in itself isn't good or bad, it's simply something different. The difference can be good, bad, or indifferent. Embracing "change is good" jumps to the conclusion that change is ALWAYS GOOD. We can all think of changes that were profoundly good, and without much effort we can think of changes that were disasters.

Change is good if we measure the outcome favorably. That doesn't mean change is always necessary, or for that matter--good. Consulting firms love to introduce so-called change in ways of doing business or treating employees. They come up with little sayings like, "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem." Sometimes that's true, but don't forget, "If you're not a part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem" (Despair, Inc.). :-)

Big Tex

I suffered from major depression for years. I too hated change, mainly because many changes were negative. When I was in therapy for it, my psychologist pointed out that my fear of change had a lot to do with that. Also I had unresolved issues about my past; I mourned what I could have had, but didn't. Gradually I realized that I was living in the past, not the present; living in the past made change terrifying. I still have my bad days, but for the most part I've come to realize that change isn't something to be feared. I've found out that some changes (marrying my wife, leaving JWs, the birth of my children, etc.) are good and positive. Sometimes life is what you make it. It's hard sometimes to live in the present (especially around bill paying time), but if you can change isn't so scary.

larc

I think that sometimes even bad changes can have some good that comes along with it. As some of you know, my wife had a significant physical problem that developed about 3 months ago. No, that was not good. However, some good did come of it. My wife has a new and better attitude about life and what she wants out of life. That is a good thing. Fortunately, I am still a part of her long term plan. JAVA, that last comment was a lead in for you. By the way, it is good to see you "active" again, here of course, not at the hall.

JAVA

Nice seeing you, larc; it's been too long since we talked. Most of the students are gone during Christmas Break, so I'm able to enjoy this list while catching up on a few things in my office.

It's true, good can come out of changes that in themselves are not welcome. Your example of a "better attitude about life and what she wants out of life" demonstrates the point. Life-threating events can have the effect of compressing life into a short story, and the abstract comes into focus. Of course it was there all along, but lost in the milieu of the novel's long daily grind.

Some people can refocus after "a significant physical problem" (i.e., negative change), which is a healthy defense or coping mechanism, but not a requirment to refocus. I could go blind tomorrow, and become suicidal until I die. You could suffer the same disease, and have a different outcome. Was change good or bad?

BTW, I'm glad Jan is doing well. We really do need to get together over a brew.

Change is good

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