by sunflwergirl420 32 Replies latest jw friends
drugs and the bisexuality almost destroyed my marriage.
REALLY??!?
I can see LESBIAL urges 'almost destroying your marriage' - but BISEXUAL??? As in, you, husband, another chick? Destroying your marriage?!??!?
n/m - girl you got OTHER issues....
admitted into a hospital for trying to commit suicide
AHHHH!!! You've ALREADY tried to commit suicide and you're STUDYING WITH WITNESSES!?!?!?!
{oh, I want no more part of this.....}
Edited by - Xander on 18 December 2002 10:41:56
I am looking into other religions and have been wondering if maybe just studying the bible and praying and keeping a clean lifestyle on my own is enough
Oh, fine, I'll offer one more thought....
YES, if you must believe the bible as a crutch, JUST STUDYING IT ON YOUR OWN IS FINE. Maybe find a more open, non-apocalyptic church, like the Universal Unitarians.
The JWs will tell you it is NOT okay to just study the bible. Indeed, you will find many meetings of theirs you can sit through using just their own literature alone and not opening the bible once. It is also NOT okay to miss meetings once you join. And NOT okay to miss field service - any one of those will doom you to death at Armageddon , according to them. And, if you don't SHUN friends and family members (IE, don't talk with them, don't associate with them) if they've turned their back on the religion, you are just as doomed...
Does that seem right to you? For a christian group?
Edited by - Xander on 18 December 2002 10:47:22
Hi Sunflwrgirl420....
well, the good news is, you've come to the right place before you make a total commitment to the WT.... In light of the information about your drug and alcohol use and trying to kick those habits (which I think is terrific!) I think you are about to make a terrible mistake.
The bad news is, the Jehovah's Witnesses aren't going to help you stay off the drugs or alcohol. You may not want to hear it, but I think your trading one addiction for another. Right now, JWs seem to be the most wonderful people to you, loving, caring, etc... what you don't know is there is a very high price to pay for that love and caring. It will disappear almost as soon as your baptized... when this love and caring turn into expectation and demand. That's most likely what you are having trouble with, dealing with the expectations and demands in your life from various sources, including yourself. And depending on who become your "friends" in the WT, (you'll probably head straight for those that seem the most approved in the congregation) it can be a cruel and punishing experience. I know from experience. This will not help you to beat your drug problem... There are better and safer ways to deal with addictions that deal with the realities in your life rather than implanting false hopes in you and watching you struggle through them on your own (and you will eventually end up isolated in that religion).... I recommend therapy and doctor supervision to beat your addictions... these have a higher success rate and are not incumbent upon your level of indoctrination into any religion.
I'm not trying to rain on your parade here, but you are putting your head in the sand... covering over one problem with another... and I don't think you understand that you not making a choice, you are being coerced. You need some very unbiased advice and again, I recommend seeing a therapist.
I wish you success in dealing with your addictions, and with your family, I just hope your success is real and lasting. The WT can't offer you that.
Sincerely,
Inq
Edited by - Inquiry on 18 December 2002 11:12:37
What Inquiry said.
He/she smarter than me.
Me just acerbic....
I can understand why you found the JWs very attractive. You mentioned that you've had experiences with drugs and alcohol, and you want them out of your life. Lo and behold, next time your bible study sees you, she brings an Awake magazine covering the subject of why Drugs and Alcohol are dangerous. These magazines also relate to how Jehovah God does not approve of these things. These magazines give information on how to quit these bad habits. Therefore, therapy, AA, etc get replaced by a religion. The thing that they DON'T cover, is how to deal with the past experiences that you've had when you were into drugs, alcohol, suicide, etc. Your experiences just get shoved into a closet. When the topic gets brought back up, you recall the feelings you had when you were experimenting. You still don't understand why you did them, why you enjoyed them, but you have been given a reason for these things - YOU WERE IN THE WORLD, AND AN EASY TARGET FOR SATAN.
This excuse is just a blanket to cover up what you've done. Anyone can do that. If you look for a way to actually come to terms with your past, you will do much better dealing with it.
As for the tongue ring, if you like it, don't get rid of it.
Like the others who posted on the subject, I commend you for attending AA and/or NA meetings. For your own sake and that of your children, I hope you continue to attend. If some people at the Kingdom Hall find out you are attending, they might discourage you -- with the best of misguided intentions.
Before you join the JW's by being baptized, assuming you don't want your children to get involved with drug and alcohol addiction, I hope you will very carefully consider the effect of your choice on your children. My daughter was brought up as a JW and is very bitter about being forced to go from door to door, being excluded from school parties, being excluded from healthy and rewarding friendships with people because they were not JW's and a host of other issues. If you want to be a JW, don't force your religiion on your children. Teach them right from wrong, but forget trying to make them into door-to-door literature hawkers and (in the eyes of their friends and school chums) weirdos.
Best wishes in your efforts to stay clean and find inner peace. Reading the Bible is a fine thing, but doing so in private in a meditative way seems to me more valuable than being guided by someone who won't allow you to be alone with your own thoughts. The truth is within you, as your post would indicate, and looking within is the best place to start. Are you doing the 12 steps? They are a great vehicle for looking within.
As for your handle, I thought you lived at 420 Sunflower Court or you were born in Kansas on April 20 or something.
Your naive new friend,
SandraC
Hi Sunflwr! I am pretty 'new' to this board myself...I want to commend you on wanting to focus your life on better things than drugs, alcohol, etc. This is a smart CHOICE on your part, not only for yourself, but your children as well...I began studying with the 'Witnesses' shortly after my brother died from drugs in 1975, and I met many really nice people and I regained some peace that was missing in my life...All I would like to say to you is to take your time, seriously...This is a major, life-changing event, baptism, and right now you are coming out of and STILL going through alot...One thing I've learned and ANY counselor will tell you is not to make any major life-changing decisions, such as that, in the midst of grief, detoxification, depression, etc. Give yourself all the time you need to work through what you have to...Keep up with your meds, counseling, support groups as well as your bible study. Be good to yourself and your children, and NEVER let anyone pressure you to 'speed things up'. You have been through alot, you didn't get where you are overnight, so it will take some time to feel better.. I wish you all the best, YOU CAN DO IT!! Write to me or any of us here, we're all here for each other! NK...Sunflwr, I just read the post by 'Inquiry' and all I can say is he put things 'in the light', as I was avoiding coming right out and saying negative, yet truthful things re: the Witnesses ..Inquiry is really telling it like it is, and although I meant everything I wrote, watch what happens if you ask the Witnesses about therapy, AA, NA, other ways of helping yourself? I'm sure they will tell you all you need is Jehovah, the meetings, the 'friends', and that is where the trouble begins...Peace..(Read my 'bio'...)
Edited by - Nancy K on 18 December 2002 13:46:58
TramaHound is correct. 420 is a direct inferance to pot..It is supposedly the international time to roll and smoke-em if you got-em. 4:20pm ..Why do I remember trivia like this?..You would think something better would stick in my mind,LOL!...OUTLAW
One thing I must mention, if you decide to tell your bible study about the things you've been reading on here, they will discourage you, which is very unfortunate. Some of the people here have gone through what you have, and can relate to your situation and give you some excellent advice.
Here's something to keep in mind. I was never baptized. Therefore, I have the freedom to talk to anyone I wish, and everyone else, including JWs are still able to speak with me. If I was disfellowshipped, I would be shunned by the people I grew up with. I believe I made a very wise choice in my life not to get baptized. I therefore kept the freedom I would have had if JWs have never entered my life.
bisexual urges?! ooh la la!
