by JH 14 Replies latest jw friends
I've been wondering all day whether or not it is actually possible to forgive another person for his or her behavior.
In the end, resolution is more so a matter of discovering morality through experience than regaining the favor of whoever you offended. Forgiveness within the WTBTS is more of a mirage of the broken spirited than an attainable reward for the sincerely repentant.
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Criag, isn't it funny how God forgives in a instant, but the GB, JW's take months to forgive.(reinstate)
Lilacs
They never forgive, because your sin is marked down in a file forever.
As a JW, the concept of forgiveness was tied up in the notion of "turning the other cheek". It seemed to give the idea of allowing others to hurt you, and rather than learning from it and changing the way you respond to the person (either by standing up for yourself or chastising the offender), you were supposed to allow them to hurt you again. And again. And again. And again.
IMO, that's just plain dumb. And I don't think it's what Jesus had in mind either, nor what the Apostle Paul had in mind when he said that it was better to "let yourself be wronged".
That concept of forgiveness sets kind-hearted people up to be abused and taken advantage of by people who have no issues with taking advantage of the kindness of anyone who will give it.
My feelings about forgiveness have changed over the years. They are no longer a means whereby others can put guilt on me (ie, You have to forgive them because they are JWs, etc) but it is a means whereby I can let go of anger and bad feelings that other people cause when they abuse my kindness. Carrying that kind of anger only hurts me, it does nothing to the people who caused it; and also allows the hurtful behaviour of others to continue to hurt me. It gives control to others, when it is rightfully mine.
Forgiveness allows you to move on from a hurtful experience, a little wiser perhaps, but with the ability to show kindness still to others who appreciate it.
Love, Scully
Forgiveness to me isn't so much the destination as it is a journey. That journey doesn't necessarily take place overnight either. To me forgiving is a process that you have to focus on - it is not a feeling. When I forgive someone, I have to physically, mentally, and emotionally remember that I'm choosing to let their sin/hurtfullness/whatever be a bygone. Yes, hopefully I've learned from it and will use the experience to protect myself from future harm, but I continue to love that person with all my heart.
I think too many people think the state of forgiveness is an emotion or feeling you get when you've come to peace with a situation. But I just don't agree with it. I feel the state of peace is the destination. Forgiveness is the road that gets you there.
Just my thoughts,
Andi
Edited by - Billygoat on 21 December 2002 16:10:39
