My dilemma

eyeslice

I am very much at the cross-roads now. I have been associated with the JWs all my life, recently turning 50 years old. I was a true believer, a hard working elder, very zealous for the truth, a pillar in the congregation, and a fine speaker and teacher. I even served in an extremely difficult foreign land for a while with my family.

I always knew we had our problems, but felt that it was my responsibility to effect change from within. I have always been very liberal, willing to forgive and always looking for way to stop ones from being dissfellowshipped wherever possible. However, the hardliners eventually caught up with me and I stood down as an elder over a minor incident with one of my kids. There was no immorality or other dissfellowshipping offences involved, but I was given a really hard time and aspersions were made regarding my qualifications to continue as an elder. So now I find myself on the fringes as it were.

So here is my dilemma, my personal reading of the Bible just lately has made me realise many new things, such as the role that Jesus plays in our salvation, that Christ commanded his followers to be his witnesses, not Jehovahs Witnessess, and that followers of Christ would eat of his flesh and drink his blood. Also, I can find nothing in my Bible that links the other sheep with the Great Crowd of Revelation. The invitation that Jesus extended was to become part of one flock, under the love and grace of himself as the fine shepherd.

Sounds like I need a new religion? I know, however, that if I go to any church, be it traditional and conservative, or more on the evangelical side, I would be instantly disfellowshipped. That would be a big problem for me, because my wife and many of my family are still in the organization. And, I am not saying I want to join another organized religion but I would like to at least experience the alternatives.

Another twist is that I am likely to be recommended for re-appointment as elder again soon.

So my options are;

1. Stay on the fringes
2. Stay, get re-appointed as an elder and carry on the fight. There are ones who still need love and care; the elderly, the widows and orphans, those with spiritual and emotional needs
3. Slowly fade, doing nothing spiritual
4. Look to fill my spiritual needs outside and get disfellowshipped.

A hard choice still needs to be made.

flower

the only truth i have learned from being a jw is that religion really is a snare and a racket. my opinion, slowly fade...explore your new spirituality by yourself with your bible if you want. you dont need an organized religion.

Edited by - flower on 21 December 2002 8:17:44

Pathofthorns

I feel bad for you because most of us faced a similar crossroads of sorts and it is probably the most difficult part of the journey.

Obviously your family would weigh heavily into the equation in whatever choice you make. I would suggest remaining on the fringes until you decide how you will slip away and you determine just how much support you will have from your family. Accepting the re-appointment will make things more complicated imo.

There rarely is a need to rush to make any decisions, and I found taking the time to reflect on all the possible outcomes helpful. I would try to leave on relatively good terms (okay, that's probably impossible) with minimal comment to local elders.

Path

LovesDubs

Eye, my brother..you are one of the rare elders who took the job with the idea that you would actually BE a servant to God and minister to people, and the red tape overtook you as it has many of our loving brothers on this board. I heard that lately the Society wont accept resignations, they sort of put you on "hold" for awhile and reinstate you when they deem it time to without much choice in the matter from you. Unless you move away, I dont see how they arent going to continue to hound you, and to ask you pointed questions about your loyalty. If you arent at the hall, they cant very well reappoint you as you arent in "good standing" after all. And you arent obliged to answer those questions either. Be evasive.

You dont need a new religion..your religion is your being a Christian. The building you stand in doesnt matter. Nor do you need a huge group of people to ply that religion, that faith...Jesus said where two or more of you are gathered, there I will be in your midst. When you seek out others of like faith, you can do it anywhere any time...including here. :) You are just having your eyes opened to what we all read in the Bible THOUSANDS of times, and cant believe we didnt see all those times.

This will be hard for you, and at the same time you will be rediscovering who God is...and your life will bloom. Dont give in to their pressures. And know that you can come here any time with any thing and share with us.

Best regards

Rescripting_myself

I empathize with your dilemma. Have u read Amazing's account of how he handled his situation which is very similar to yours? If not, I suggest that you do so. It might give you a perspective to refer to.Wish you the best in this struggle that all those of us who have been true believers have to face.I was brought up a JW from age 6 and realized who WTS really is only 2 years ago at age 37.

Rescripting_myself

shera

Hello and welcome.

Jesus plays in our salvation, that Christ commanded his followers to be his witnesses, not Jehovahs Witnessess

That is always something I thought of as well,I agree with you 100%

You have to make sure you make the choice that you will be able to live with,and truley be happy.Seeing the real truth the scriptures and preaching the JW way, would that be hard on you?

The best choice I made was learning the history and reading the bible on my own.I have explored other religions,but came to the point I don't believe any religion has all truth.

Sentinel

((((Eye))))

Your post is so sincere and you seem to be a person who really tries to apply the good from the JW mindset. But, you are now seeing the true picture, and the facts are so difficult to accept.

First of all, you must be true to your own heart. To follow a creed that is not correct, no matter how hard you try to make it so, will not be good for you. Trying to hold onto a lie is unhealthy and somewhere along the way, sooner or later, you will break away for good. This has to be your decision. After so many years of faithful, dedicated service, I can see how you must be feeling.

I too, dedicated so much of my life to that service. Even when I had so many doubts and questions, I hung on----because, I thought "where else is there to go?". But, as the years rolled by, I knew that I had to be true to my own heart, and I had to make my stand, no matter what the cost. And, as you know, those "costs" are extremely high.

You probably feel that there is nothing else out here for you, because you've been "in" so many years. This is understandable. You have family, friends and connections that would not be easily broken. Yet, you are at the crossroads. Change is never easy; but change is a good thing. It causes us to look at our life and review where we've been and where we are, and where we want to be. I don't have all the answers, but I do know that I am a very spiritual person, without religion. I feel so much closer to our creator(s) than I have ever been my whole life. I didn't get to this place without lots of soul searching and lots of personal changes. Perhaps this is "the real truth" we all seek.

Take your time. This is your life. Living life in the freedom to search and read and explore all possibilities is a very good thing. It is the way humans were created. It doesn't matter how old you are when you reach your crossroad. It's a personal place we all come to, sometimes only once, but usually several times. Many times we choose the wrong path, because we are trying to make everyone else happy besides ourselves.

I will be thinking about you and hoping that you find some peace and direction. Look for the good and move the rest aside. Keep doing this, and you will grow and learn and be able to make some very good decisions.

freedom96

I think you nailed it when you said that you were realizing the importance of Christ, and that relationship is between you and him. As long as you have that, that is what matters.

As far as fading, or leaving, being df'd, etc, that is a tough one. With your family still involved, it may take time for them to understand your point of view, and maybe fading is the best way. People will always be more receptive to listening, if time is given a chance. An arupt leaving of the witnesses, and no one will listen.

Best wishes to you.

Shutterbug

If you should go back, become an elder again, you are going to have a terrible time giving talks on the subjects the WTS dictates to you. You will know in your heart this is not true and it will affect you in a negative way, and by extension, your family. Some would have you tell them (elders) you are suffering from depression, rather you are or not. If you are not suffering from depression, this course (lie) will have the same negative effect.

This is going to be a very tough choice, however you choose to go. Best wishes.

NewLight2

Here is the link to how Amazing got his family out.

How I helped my Family Leave Jehovah's Witnesses
by Amazing
http://www.freeminds.org/psych/exithelp.htm

My suggestion is to stay in just long enough to get your family out, then do the slow fade. That way you may still be able to get your extended family out. But only you can tell how much staying "in" bothers your conscience now that you know the real truth about the JW's.

NewLight2

My dilemma

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