by nelly1 18 Replies latest jw friends
I really feel for you. I remember well the first time that happened to me, and I was absolutely not expecting it. I had no idea people would do that just because we stopped going to meetings. Then we started to hear the gossip about us. They believe what they want to believe, and my husband always says "they are victims of victims, and are to be pitied".
Now it amuses me, but at first it hurt.
Hi Nelly,
Please don't let another human being determine your worth. These JW's are being taught to shun anyone they consider "weak" because they fear that they will be in that position one day if they get too close. Are you really weak if you don't attend meetings anymore? The WT turns the simple message of the bible into a formulaic, robotic exercise that would even make the Pharisees cry out in glee. Jesus made it plain what God wanted each one of us to do. Mark 12:29,30 makes it plain that we just need to love God with all our heart and to love our neighbor as ourselves.
The Witnesses may wrongly think that you are up to no good. Why, you're drifting away, oh so imperceptively Nelly. Really what this is all about is that you found out about all the lies and deceptions of the WT and you want no part of it anymore. You are disgusted about the elders trampling down on good, innocent people so as to keep the rank and file in ignorance.
So, the next time you see a witness at the store, hold your head high, greet them warmly, that will give the lie to their claim that all who leave the WT are devils in training. Look around you and see that those you formerly considered "worldly" are not so bad after all. Of course, it's wise to be cautious when beginning new friendships, but there are decent, good people that aren't JW's. What a shocker! And know too that you have found friends here that understand your plight and are always willing to lend their love and support.
Mr. Shakita
Gopher,
***they're just following orders from an anonymous committee***
Gopher you just crystalized an important point.
Over 6 million jw's are so mind numbed and conditioned, that they will in fact, unconditionaly accept the decision of two or three (men only) who have passed judgement on a fellow human being. Not to mention that these two or three 'window washer's) judges, took often less than an hour to summarily dispatch the 'sinner' into eternal damnation, unless he/she grovels, pleads, weeps, and displays an appropriate attitude, acceptable to them. Is it any wonder the power of being an elder is very heady?
How much more evidence does one need, to understand the sheer evil of such a system.
Danny
Yeah, Danny -- the way the JW culture operates turns REALLY ugly and un-Christian when it comes to shunning. This hurts both its followers (those who shun and usually have no idea why they are shunning someone) and of course the "Nellies" out there who have to try to think of ways to endure this weird treatment.
The choice of who to associate with (or shun) ought to be left up to the individual. There is nothing, I repeat nothing, in the Bible that supports the current JW disfellowshipping arrangement. The only people that are to be turned aside are "those called brothers" who try to influence the congregation to violate its standards, or "those who bring a different teaching". People who simply leave (or are dismissed by a committee) rarely if ever fall into either of these categories.
My parents shun me and they have no idea the kind of kangaroo court I was subjected to in the Minnesota congregation I attended. All they know is someone said "Jeff is disfellowshipped", and that resolved the whole matter for them right there.
The whole system is pathetic, ignorant, wrongheaded, unbiblical, unnatural, and would be laughable if it didn't cause so much headache and heartache.
Shame on the WT Society. Shame shame shame. Those controlling B*stards.
Edited by - Gopher on 24 December 2002 9:56:26
nellie 1.....god,,,how awful.....i am not used to it either....i get just crushed when it happens to me...i do not handle it well.....and it deeply affects me....i do every thing in my power to avoid them...but...some times you just run into them....
i can't handle it,,,so i have no good words of wisdom to give....just wanted you to know you are not alone....and i am thinking of you.....
its realy hurtful oh well i need to realise shes not important in my life so what she thinks dont matter squatt. hard tho isnt it?
Not for me, and though I hesitate to mention this because non-attachment of this sort usually makes some people think you're not human or something, it is partly due to the way I was trained as a JW. (your 'spiritual family' etc.) It doesn't mean I don't care, but there is no point in getting attached to them because I know JWs are just basically confused people, and people who don't want to be open at that so there isn't that much you can do, generally speaking. It's kind of ironic that in my case it backfired, it's not that I got attached to the JWs but rather I learned not to get attached, even to them. There are exceptions to this of course, like anyone else there are individuals in my life that are very dear to me, but that's just based on who they are, not because we went through this and that together. Hell, I went through this religion with them, but I don't feel so attached to them anymore. Actually, that's not completely true, because they haven't actually gone through it.
Just as people in Iraq are all afraid of Saddam Hussein, it's the same thing with the Watchtower. They will shun you because they are afraid of the reaction of the greater Saddam (Watchtower).
You can :
1) Give them the Care Bear Stare hoping they will get blasted with super tummy good will power. lol
2) You can make them look like the rudest )*#@#&@@@! by carrying on like they are this long lost best friend in the world. 1) they will have to respond or look like scrooge 2) or they will have to shun and make a bigger (_)_) out of themselves.
3) Or you can try to pull a Jedi mind control on them. How do to do this is you wave you hand in jedi fashion and say, " You will not be a (_)_) hole." It may or may not work, but hell it will make you laugh.
4) IF all else fails.. smile and go on with life. They are not worth one minute of your worry. Talking about doggie doo .. their behavior is exactly that. SCRAP them off your shoe and move on.
I personally feel sorry for them. They are still in bondage to a Watchtower that doesn't care if they live, die, or what ever. Blind Loyality.
X
aww thank you all, you are all so kind and helpful, I came home after that and i thought i need to get on the comp because the ppl at this board would understand and help me to cope, i guess its harder in a small country like this, u know because towns are so close and everyone knows everyone else...
ugg thank you I can see you understand how i feel and all of you have been so helpful,
i wasnt DF or DA I just stopped going as they did so many things to me that my emotions and mental health were about to suffer serious damage, im a very kind and loving person with a bubbly personality plus, and I think they r all jealous and dont know how to deal with a person like me because as you say most are robots, that is my observation too, and heres me laughing my ass off in the hall, they just dont know how to deal with that, so a few individals say ( including elders) oh god we gotta get rid of her bleh and make my life so hard that it was impossible to go on, long sordid story.....but i have a clean concience i never did anything to offend god.
and i know for a fact that elders wife i saw has heard gossip as before i left i was told it was her husband who said to a group of sisters helping him with hall cleaning that he wanted to know the latest gossip and they told him something about me and he said oh i already know that thats old news grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
but once again thank you for comforting me i needed it, i feel better now
love you all
nelly
