JW causing more grief over my Dad's death Sat. (page 2)

Lady Lee

Nancy I am sorry to here of the loss of your father.

I don't know if you can be there or not but whether you can or can't just let your mom know you will support whatever decision she makes. if she caves in to your sister let her know you will understand and that perhaps keeping the peace is important. However if she wants to stay with her own deciosion you will support that too. Ultimately she is the one to make the final decision and not your sister.

Or perhaps a compromise is in order if your mother is up to negotiating with your sister - or you are.

Mum

Nancy, I'm so sorry you are going through what you are. It's enough to lose a loved one without this family dissension. Why would the witnesses even consent to forcing themselves on a grieving widow with a funeral service she does not want? Does your sister say they are willing to do this? I know JW elders can be pushy, but this is 'way over the line!

If your sister won't stop harassing your mother in her hour of sorrow, would a restraining order be appropriate? This is a tough situation. I'm thinking of your mom's welfare, even though I know the restraining order idea sounds a bit harsh.

With love and sympathy,

SandraC

LovesDubs

Why dont you have the services in a funeral home, and invite a JW to speak if they want to...but they CANNOT use the "Funeral OUtline" to do it. If they have something personal to say about your dad fine, but they CANNOT use it as an opportunity to shoot off their Infomercial! If they start, you have the right to STOP them. Give em 5 minutes like they always gave the rest of us, and thats IT.

Im so sorry about your dad...I know if anything happened to my JW inlaws or my husband, I will be faced with this. I got news for the Dubs tho...my husband dies, there will NOT be a JW talk! If there is...he will not be there, they will have to have it SANS his remains.

SeenOneTwoManyNightmareJWFuneralsClass

Big Tex

Nancy, I'm sorry for your loss.

If it were me, I would tell her to back off or else I would contact the body of elders in her congregation and let them know of her fornication (and any other little dark secret she may have). She is obviously a hypocrite of the highest order, so she will not want to have this type of attention focused on her. Just stand by your mother and everything will work out. Good luck.

refiners fire

Nancy. ultimately it is your mothers issue.

Her husband has died and now there is psychological pressure being brought to bear upon her from various people. Just what she needs. (Not)

Are you going to add to the pressure?

Personally I would stay out of it. She wont have a dub service, ultimately, unless she wants it. Leave the decision to her.Stay out of the endless melodrama.

By the way, stuff likes this happens ALL THE TIME in many families, not just dub families. Theres nothing particularly unusual about it

Nancy K

Hello Friends, Please accept my thanks for your posts...They have been VERY helpful...I am able to fly down to Florida, as my son has offered to go with me and my husband would come down as soon as he can (he has a client that needs his help in court)..I have an unusual set of circumstances, and believe me, the last thing I want is for my Mom to be under more stress..I, too, have a serious illness and this added JW stress is not good; 3 years ago my Mom came up north to help take care of me, as I was on a very potent 'chemo cocktail' and almost didn't survive..She and I are very close. When she called me about the JW issue...( the past few days have been a blur, we've been on the phone so much..) As I said, she called me, after my sister started about the service thing..My father didn't leave any wishes, written or verbal regarding the JW service..He wanted to be cremated and have his ashes buried with my brother's in NJ..My Mom called me for support, as she has been upset with my sister for saying unkind things about me (behind my back), things regarding my illness..You see, I have developed a type of neuropathy which makes me use a cane at times and affects my speech, equilibrium and hearing. She kept telling people I was on drugs, etc., and I didn't even know, until she said it to my Mom and Dad, and then they told me. Well, I was upset and my husband was furious..But I can't be under all this stress either, it makes me feel sicker, so I just decided to try and focus on the positive things in my life..My husband, my younger daughter Em, and my son Doug, as well as our little group of pets..My doctor has told me, "surround yourself with people that love you and the h*ll with all the rest"..He's right..This website has been a blessing to me also, even though I am 'new'..The first day I went 'on' I got such wonderful support, I was flipping out!! All of you have been tremendously helpful and kind..So, anyway, things in my corner of the world are 'quite the mess' right now, but I feel peace starting to flow into my soul...I feel that all of you, my husband, son, etc., have helped me and I am so grateful..I was thinking how tough this 'time of year' is on alot of people and esp., THIS year, after 9-11..So many people grieving...I suffered the loss of my beloved Dad, but I have alot to be thankful for..Our one friend saw people jumping from the World Trade Ctr., that day, and has been in heavy-duty therapy..You see, we live very close to the WTC..So, yes, I have a great deal to be thankful for...Well, I will end this post here for now..Much love to all of you and may peace be with you and your loved ones, NK...

Nancy K

Dear Sentinel, Thanks for sharing your experience...I believe that what is bothering me is that I don't normally talk to my sister too much, because she preaches one way of life and then lives a different one..So, in the respect dept., I am lacking towards her..Then with my husband, pets, house, children & illness, I have alot to keep me busy..My illness takes up the biggest chunk of my life, so I try to keep things 'simple'..I was originally planning to fly down with my son (and my husband would follow shortly thereafter), to see my Mom, because she will be getting my Dad's ashes and bringing them home..Then she wants to bring them to New Jersey, to bury them in a plot they have, where my 19 year old brother was buried in 1975, so I wasn't planning on rushing right down there..I thought after my sister leaves, I would go down, so she wouldn't be alone, yet..I also have invited her to come stay with us for how ever long she wants to, as we have a big house. It was my sister's idea to have a 'rush' service before she goes home, that got us upset..My Mom says my Dad didn't want this, SHE doesn't want a 'viewing' as my sister put it, because my Dad looked bad when she saw him that last time..The last thing I want to do is cause my Mom any more stress..If my sister pressures my Mom into this, there's not alot I can do from being in a different state...I will still go and see my Mom and she is always welcome to come to our home, for one night or for the rest of her life, we love her..If I wasn't ill myself, I'd be able to deal with this alot better, I'd have more strength, physical and emotional, but for now I'll just do the best I can to comfort my Mom..My Dad is at peace and that is what is important, that and looking out for my Mom. I am not a 'fighter', I'll stand up for what I believe to be true and just, but I try to keep the peace in my life and those I love..Again, Thank You for your thoughts and prayers..All my best to you and yours, NK

deddaisy

nancy,

it doesn't matter honey. trust me. don't fight with the living concerning the dead. bless you.

of the "why do I keep getting double posts class ?"

christina

Edited by - deddaisy on 26 December 2002 1:35:39

deddaisy

edited, double post .....................

Edited by - deddaisy on 26 December 2002 1:32:35

JW causing more grief over my Dad's death Sat.

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