Hi, I've been reading through some of this forum, and it's certainly got more information than anywhere else I've found. So I'm hoping that perhaps someone here might be able to give me some answers/ideas on a situation that is really puzzling me.
I live in Melbourne, Australia, with my husband of 12 years, and no kids. For the past 6 months I've been living next door to my neighbours, unaware that they are JW's. When I discovered that they were, it didn't change anything. We have always been friendly to each other, on the occasions we came into contact, but had little to do with one another. They are a married couple, with 4 sons.
It was in a conversation with their eldest boy, who's 15, that he told me they are JW's and don't celebrate Xmas. So that's how I found out. Later on, in a conversation with the wife, she told me that she is not a JW. But I thought that JW's were only supposed to marry other JW's? She also smokes and drinks, and swears - a lot. He doesn't smoke, but drinks and also swears a lot. All 4 of their sons have been brought up as JW's. They do not celebrate xmas, birthdays, new years, all the annual events that JW's don't celebrate. But he has tattoo's, and they do dishonest things, such as stealing a pure bred Siamese cat that wandered into their yard - I say stole, because they hid it in their house for a couple of months, and refused to put a lost cat ad into the paper, as they wanted to keep the cat for themselves. They hose down their footpath and car even though we are in a bad drought and on strict water restrictions. Stuff like that.
His wife told me he is not a practising JW at the moment. Then why still uphold all the beliefs of a JW, as in no celebrations, etc. I really like them, they are both nice, and their kids are extremely polite, I mean, excellent, outstanding manners. They tend to be very strict on the kids, from what I have seen, but also loving. He talks to everyday 'worldy' people, their boys all play with other kids in the street, regardless of whether they are JW's or not.
I mean, what's the deal? Why would they sit on the fence like that? Apparently, too, their marriage suffers terribly because he follows the JW guidlines - to some extent anyway - but she doesn't, and they seperate 3 or 4 times a year then get back together again. (this is what she herself told me). She has no tolerance for his beleifs, and he has no tolerance for hers, and won't join in any celebrations, so why on earth they are still together is beyond me.
Also, he recently made obscene graphic comments to me to do with wanting to have sex with me, when I got out of my car in the driveway one night, and he was washing his car in their own frontyard. I was speechless! I would of been speechless if he wasn't a JW, but he is, or half is, or whatever, so I mean, what on earth?? Major hypocrite, or just seriously mentally screwed over by being a JW?
I guess I am just seeking some answers as to whether he is a JW, or living some kind of double life, or why he would even bother to only half follow all the rules, rather than just get right out of it all. I'm just stumped.
Also, what was with the rul about not playing chess? I understand it's not enforced anymore (?) but where did that one come from, what was the basis for it??