Question for fade-aways.

by bay64me 38 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  patio34

  Minimus,

  Simply tell them that you are not going to answer any questions. Period.

  Then what? They will DF you in no time if you don't cooperate. The way I see it, you have to go back fast or leave for good. They want a good clean up.

  In my case, I had a visit and a phone call. Fortunately, I had a well-known illness that has left a few side effects. They're more infrequent now. At the time I said the side effects kept me from going out most of the time except for work, and even that was difficult.

  This is not the case now, but it is still the essence of what I'd say. Except now I'd say it's a very private problem--again and again.

  This could be extended to anything. Even our disagreement with the WTBS can be said to be very private as it relates to the elders. You can imply and they can infer that you have depression (you ARE depressed that you were a JW so long!), bad back, chronic fatigue, or any number of hard-to-observe maladies.

  The operative word, imo, is "private." Play the assertiveness trick of the "broken record technique," where the only info divulged over and over is one statement ("it's too private" or whatever you think appropriately unassailable).

  Elders: "Maybe if you talked about it."

  You: "It's too private."

  Elders: "Have you prayed?"

  You: "I can't talk about it. It's too private."

  Elders: Would you like someone to study with you?

  You: "No. I receive treatment. It's private though." (The treatment is this "support group" at Simon's.)

  Well, that is volunteering small vague info. The less the better, but it's important they think it's a malady, not a sin.

  Good luck!

  Pat

  Edited by - Patio34 on 28 December 2002 10:40:18
• 

  bay64me

  Ugg,

  more info please??????????????

  Patio...........I love it
• 

  Number 6

  I agree with minimus.

  To agree to meet with them or answer any of their questions is to acknowledge they have some power or hold over you. In the end they are going to do as they will anyway, because they have no respect for individual rights or family ties. So personally I don't see how to avoid the end result.

  Simply put I will not give them the satisfaction of even aknowledging them. I have been out for over 11 years by managing to fade away. I couldn't care less what they think of or label me as.

  Of course I run the risk of my parents cutting of contact, something they have thus far not done, although they are in no doubt what I think of their pathetic cult, but I am not prepared to even meet half way when their religion of choice is a man made cult. The loss of their grandchildren will be entireley THEIR fault caused by THEIR descision to choose the Watchtower cult over their own flesh and blood.

  So let them come hunting for us fade-aways! To hell with them!!
• 

  Farkel

  The Elders school last summer made it crystal clear that no matter how long one has been inactive, that person is still under "God's" (translation: "Watchtower") laws. This is a complete turnabout from the Flock book in which elders could consider how long a person has been inactive before they DA'd.

  Sooner or later, during the pleasant chit-chat, they are going to ask the KEY question of you:

  "Do you still consider yourself to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses?"

  If there is more than one elder at the witch-hunt and if you answer "no," be prepared to be DA'd. If you answer yes, they might try to grill you with questions like "why haven't you been associating, then?" You don't have to answer any questions, of course, but if you don't want to be DA'd then answer "Yes" if they ask you if you still consider yourself to be a dub.

  I don't care what kind of spin the society wants to put on this, I'm certain there is a witch-hunt going on and they want to DA every inactive person they can't get back into the Cult. It only makes sense as good damage-control, too. Dubs cannot talk to DA'd folks and so they won't be exposed to any damaging information the person would have on the Cult.

  Farkel
• 

  freedom96

  I really don't think they will hunt me down. I am local, in the same area, but have moved several times.
• 

  ugg

  for bay and any others wondering.....the list consist of very basic sheperding "DISCUSSIONS"
  we have need of endurance.....
  rewards for being persistance.....
  you are precious in gods eyes....
  have a willing spirit.......
  guard your heart.....
  read the bible and keep your christian balance.....very general discussions
  
  personal questions.......
  how do we feel having jehovah as a sheperd......
  how dangerous is the heart.....
  what could cause a lack of zeal.....
  very general questions to go with the points they are bringing out for the individual they are speaking with. hope this helps some.....

  just basic stuff,,,,but will depend on how you answer i would immagine.
• 

  minimus

  If YOU don't give them an answer, they can't pin you down for your response. If you tell them that you will not discuss anything with them, there's not much that they legitimately can do to you. If you answer a question because you feel they are entitled to know, then that's YOUR error. Keep quiet and they can't act on it. Of course, I know that someone here will say that they can still disfellowship if they want. I guess that could be true but it wouldn't be because YOU opened your own mouth and volunteered any information.
• 

  ozziepost

  Of course, I know that someone here will say that they can still disfellowship if they want. I guess that could be true but it wouldn't be because YOU opened your own mouth and volunteered any information.

  Minimus, this is the same as the questioning that Farks has written about. To give no answer is the same as answering the question below in the negative.

  Sooner or later, during the pleasant chit-chat, they are going to ask the KEY question of you: "Do you still consider yourself to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses?"

  Not answering the elders' question will be taken automatically as "rebellion" against the "organisation" and its appointed representatives.

  It's a no-win situation.

  Face it, folks, it's like that hair shampoo ad "It may not happen overnight, but it WILL happen."

  Cheers, Ozzie
• 

  minimus

  If you refuse to answer a question, there is no real evidence against you. The elders still need either your own admission or 2 witnesses to establish something. If you express to the elders that you just won't entertain any of their questions, what can the legitimately do? They really can't form a committee if a charge has not been substantiated. Of course, if they do, it's because they've broken their own rules, and I'm well aware this can and does happen.
• 

  Lost Diamond

  Nope, I haven't. But, I moved to a different state. The elders here harassed me for a bit, then I moved to another city. I quit going to meetings once I moved away....never carried my publishers card with me. I'm still wondering if they will tract me down, and if I will get a suprise visit from one of the elders.