Taming of a Beast (Long post) (page 3)

AnotherEscapee

Thanks Animal, I'm sure its gonna be helpful.

Cassiline

(((( Animal))))

Thanks for sharing what I am sure was a painful time in your life. I believe your post and insights will be a help to many. Wishing you a Happy New Year and a great 20th anniversary.

Love,

Cassi

All I can say is Wow! What a lot you've been through...and what a lot you've learned! Thank you for sharing such an intimate piece of yourself with us and I wish you and your wife a very happy 20th anniversary!

Love,

Dana

LittleToe

Excellent post, Animal. This one's a keeper!

Nice to see a little of the man behind the beard

nightwarrior

HI PUSSYCAT

ANIMAL WAS YOUR OLD PERSONALITY TRAIT.

Enjoyed very much part of your inner feelings and slight insight into your former lifestyle.which ,you have shared,you mention that you wrote things concerning your two parents ??what are your feelings towards your j.w. stepfarther,were you treated right by him,you must have left home quite early on in life ,what did you learn as the son of a j.w why did you end or start life as a biker.

The word you use (codependants ) is also significant in your life as i think that you probably see j.w as being codependant upon the organization not being able to think for themselves.acting in a robotic fashion,without the need for a conscience or free thought process,you seem to have experienced there lifestyle on your course.

Are you now serching for the creator,do you want something else in your life,hence joining the board,

long life and peace be with you as a pussycat not as an animal.

regards to your family ime sure you have and will make the right decisions .

DannyBear

Animal,

Worth the read.

Sounds like your one of the minority who makes it. Still riding, and a Harley at that.

Glad you shared your experience, looking forward to reading more about your life as an 'outlaw'.

Danny

animal

All the replies here are great and appreciated. I figured that I would step on a few nerves with my post also, which I did. The emails I got about this post were, to say the least, interesting.

2 emails in particular were touching, to me. You both know who you are, and know that even when I tire of this board, you both are welcome to keep in touch with me. You, and many that replied here in this thread, are the main reason I keep reading here.

I am in no need of help in getting away from JW's, or need to learn how to "hide out" from elders knocking on my door, nor do I wish to get into infantile arguments about "Who likes Bush". I mainly enjoy the fun stuff on this board, like mouthy not needing a pecker warmer, only the pecker.

In closing, let me add some of the info that grabbed my attention. Take it for what its worth:

Symptoms of Codependency:
Inability to know what "normal" is.
Difficulty in following a project through.
Difficulty having fun.
Judging self, others without mercy.
Low self esteem, often projected onto others. (eg: Why don't they get their act together!)
Difficulty in developing or sustaining meaningful relationships.
Belief that others cause or are responsible for the codependent's emotions.

(Codependents often use language like "you make me feel ______", or "I was made to feel like____")

Overreacting to change. (or intense fear of / inability to deal with change.)
Inability to see alternatives to situations, thus responding very impulsively.
Constantly seeking approval and affirmation, yet having compromised sense of self.
Feelings of being different.
Confusion and sense of inadequacy.
Being either super responsible or super irresponsible. (Or alternating between these.)
Lack of self confidence in making decisions, no sense of power in making choices.
Feeling of fear, insecurity, inadequacy, guilt, hurt, and shame which are denied.
Isolation and fear of people, resentment of authority figures.
Fear of anger or bottling anger up till it explodes.
Hypersensitivity to criticism.
Being addicted to excitement / drama. (Chaos making.)
Dependency upon others and fear of abandonment.
Avoidance of relationships to guard against abandonment fears.
Confusion between love and pity.
Tendency to look for "victims" to help.
Rigidity and need to control.
Lies, when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.

Are you codependent?
Melody Beattie, author of Codependent No More developed this check list:

Do you feel responsible for other people--their feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, wants, needs, well-being and destiny?
Do you feel compelled to help people solve their problems or by trying to take care of their feelings?
Do you find it easier to feel and express anger about injustices done to others than about injustices done to you?
Do you feel safest and most comfortable when you are giving to others?
Do you feel insecure and guilty when someone gives to you?
Do you feel empty, bored and worthless if you don't have someone else to take care of, a problem to solve, or a crisis to deal with?
Are you often unable to stop talking, thinking and worrying about other people and their problems?
Do you lose interest in your own life when you are in love?
Do you stay in relationships that don't work and tolerate abuse in order to keep people loving you?
Do you leave bad relationships only to form new ones that don't work, either?
=======================

How did you answer these questions?

Animal

wednesday

Animal, ty for that post. it was good reading . Both my sons had alochol and drug problems. We dragged them through rehab several times and it did no good. One just eventually realized the alochol and drugs were causing a problem in his life and stopped. The other got heavily involved with AA and they became his lifeline. I will always be grateful,. it caused a profound change in my son,and now he has been sober and straight for 10 years. For him, he needed to not ever drink again, For the other son, he is able to drink occ. without problems. i have gone to some AA meeting and a convention with my older son. I'm extremely grateful to these kind people for helping my sons

As to the last post, i didn't realize for years, but i was a very co-dependent erson. A part of the reason the WTS apealed to me so much. they made the rules, i followed. i could not let a poot without asing permission form an elder. When some one would ask a question i would say"jws say or feel.." i never had a thought for my own opinions. When i woke up , it was hard to identify what my real feelings were. Still working on that.

SLOAN

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((animal)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

What a man!!!!!!!!! Good for you!! So glad that you have worked through your problems and realised that you're human. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It was quite entertaining. You are a good listener and a great friend.

Gizmo

Hi Animal, I was very moved by your life story, and I think the $1000 dollars was well spent, you obviously came away a better person for it and is so obvious in the way you want to help others .

I found this link to an open survey that may interest you, it is a survey on codependence, I believe the results will eventually be published and the questions seem to cover many different aspects of life we all have experienced some point.

Thanks again for sharing Animal, maybe one day I'll be able to rebuild just like you ((((HUGS))))) man.

Taming of a Beast (Long post)