Yeah Wednesday, my good ole JW dad stabs me in the back every chance he gets. I am finished with that man, and I am moving on. I still get mad , no bitterly angry for what he has done to me my whole life. But moving on , doesnt mean the hurt doesnt still surface.
Funny thing , my mom although dead now for 18 yrs......... is still coming thru for me ,,, she told me one thing one time,,,,,,,,, and I never forgot it, she said land, is everything. After she died,my evil grandmother , her abusive mother, cut her other daughter my aunt, and my sister and me out of my granddad's will. We contested it. In Louisiana thereis or was forced heirship. I was so mad at how my dad screwed me out of my mom's inheritence, I decided to not let anyone get to me again. THis really made the evil grandmother mad, but my mom always loved the land my grandfather owned, over 500 acres on the red river, good farm land, lots of fruit tress, just beautiful.
I heard tonite form my Aunt that the will in in succession and there may be a buyer for the land, it may go thru in about six months or so,,,,,,,,lots of legal tape paper work, but my aunt, my sister and me will get our inheritence. It is with a sad heart to face this,,,,,, it was years ago that i contested my grandmother on this will. Now the time has come to face the last thing that belonged to my mother and to say goodbey to it. It was the land she loved and I hate to see it go to strangers but itis the only way to do spilt it by selling it.
When I get the check in my hand for my part of my mom's part, I will no doubt cry. I think she should be alive to make her dreams of building her home place there, but of course now that is just a dream she had that can never come true. Some people say how lucky I am to have it and we can do some good things for our children with the money, like college etc. and that is true. That is what my mom would have wanted for us,,,,,,,, I know that , but it still will hurt to finally see the last thing that meant the world to her gone.
I intend to use the money to set my childrens college fund and really I am not sure how much it will be, but I will use it to honor the grandchildren she wanted so very much, thereby honoring her.
We are moving on to my husbands family's land in the spring and I intend to make a garden and have a sitting place dedicated to my mom there. A pomagranite tree and a rock garden , bird feeder , a place that I can go to remember her by. I have never been able to connect with her at the graveyard,,,,,,,,so I hope that she would be pleased in this.
Sorry for getting off subject a little here with my inheritence worries,,,,,,,it is just hard to accept that she isnt here to enjoy it.
I talked to my aunt on the phone tonite and it was like hearing my mothers voice, it took everything I had not to break down crying, when I heard what sounded just like my mom, even the laugh. It was good to hear it,,,,but still just brought alot of the pain of missing her. And it brought back the feelings of how much I wanted her to be here today, living her life ,,,,,, and she never got the chance like I did to be free of the WT. She is free now,,,,,,, and I hope she is in heaven and can see that no matter the material things that were stolen from me, or the material things I will get,,,,,,,, I want her back here . I just guess I will have to wait to see what happens in the afterlife if there is one. But I hope I live a full life that would have made her proud.