A word of advice clining to their persecutors ... (page 2)

SecretSlaveClass

Clinging. It was a spelling error. My apologies - again.

defender of truth

Thank you for sharing that story.

"Advice for those clinging to their captors" may have worked as a title, too.

We need to bear in mind, though, that not everyone has such extreme circumstances. Some people have healthy relationships with their parents, they just don't talk much about religion and deflect any attempts at guilt or emotional pleas to return. (Or they just go to occasional meetings and 1 hour in a month field circus, and then go home and live peaceful lives with friends and family they have known for many years).

If you are under duress from abusive family members under the spell of the Org, get out from under their control ASAP. Otherwise you're going to spend your years in misery trying to placate people who don't know how to love you...

Amen to that.

On the other hand, I wonder if you would have spent your life at least partially under the mental control of the Borg, if not for your mother's abusive behaviour? If you had stayed at home, might you have got baptised at a later age due to peer pressure?

I know it may sound strange, but if you can find some small thing to be grateful to her for, like being a part of your independence and freedom from this cult, it may help you to not hate her. She will likely go to her grave miserable, you will not. Pity her, if possible.

At seventeen I left to join the military in order to get away from her and her toxic JW environment.

Early exposure to life in the real world no doubt served you well.

SecretSlaveClass

defender of truth11 minutes agoThank you for sharing that story.
"Advice for those clinging to their captors" may have worked as a title, too.
We need to bear in mind, though, that not everyone has such extreme circumstances. Some people have healthy relationships with their parents, they just don't talk much about religion and deflect any attempts at guilt or emotional pleas to return. (Or they just go to occasional meetings and 1 hour in a month field circus, and then go home and live peaceful lives with friends and family they have known for many years).

Of course you are correct, I was only referring to extremely destructive relationships.

As for my own reasons for not being baptized refer back to my explanation which for some reason only showed up now.

P.S. You're also spot-on about the title. Oh well no chance of correcting that now.

SecretSlaveClass

punkofnice

Agreed. It may not be immediate and may take planning but there is life outside the dark tower.

Yes planning is super important. I was fortunate in that I had saved a lot of money from part time jobs while still at school and was able to walk straight into the security of the military, which of course is not an option for a lot of folks.

breakfast of champions

Sounds like you had a whack job mother like I did. You were fortunate to get away young. . . . I hung around for years, and it wasn't until my wife pointed out how I was being manipulated left and right by her that I finally saw what was going on and cut ties.

At least you're free now and have a smart wife to share your freedom with. Happy to read that!

Xanthippe

I just won't play anymore. I say hello at funerals and then I move away. I don't write, email or phone. Let them play their manipulation games with each other, I'm not a little mouse to be mauled by their claws until I die.

It's sad an inherently cruel. I'm sorry you had to endure that for so long. Have you completely cut ties with them? How is your life now?

millie210

You have lived a life that is unique in many ways SSC.

I enjoy hearing about it and seeing things from your perspective.

I think of us ex JWs as being a rare group. Touchy, sensitive, beautiful, wise and all at different stages.

If the rest of the world is like a piano or maybe an organ, than we are like the carillion bells of humanity.

SecretSlaveClass

millie21019 minutes ago
You have lived a life that is unique in many ways SSC.
I enjoy hearing about it and seeing things from your perspective.
I think of us ex JWs as being a rare group. Touchy, sensitive, beautiful, wise and all at different stages.

Thank you millie, I enjoy your perspective very much myself as I do just about everyone's on this forum. I've learned a boatload in the short time I've been part of this community. Thank you everyone!

If the rest of the world is like a piano or maybe an organ, than we are like the carillion bells of humanity.

I love it!

Xanthippe

Have you completely cut ties with them? How is your life now?

I don't have anything to do with them but I wouldn't put the phone down on them if they contacted me because they may want to leave the cult one day. There is little chance of this but they know where I am.

My life is good. When I left I got my degree and eventually a job I like. My daughter is an intelligent, ethical, compassionate young woman of twenty now, free to enjoy her life without cult influences. She is enjoying university and we have a great time travelling to different countries together.

SecretSlaveClass

Xanthippe28 minutes ago

I don't have anything to do with them but I wouldn't put the phone down on them if they contacted me because they may want to leave the cult one day. There is little chance of this but they know where I am.

Completely understand and I feel the same way.

My life is good. When I left I got my degree and eventually a job I like. My daughter is an intelligent, ethical, compassionate young woman of twenty now, free to enjoy her life without cult influences. She is enjoying university and we have a great time travelling to different countries together.

That's fantastic, it gives me a big ol' grin inside and outside!

punkofnice

SSC - I was fortunate in that I had saved a lot of money from part time jobs while still at school and was able to walk straight into the security of the military, which of course is not an option for a lot of folks.

Well done that man. If only more could learn from this.

Giordano

Enjoyed your observations greatly. And your sister how did she fare?

A word of advice clining to their persecutors ...

Xanthippe28 minutes ago

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