Oh Gig, ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
Your words brough tears to my eyes and really tugged at my heart. You are a sincere person, who has been trying to do the right thing.
You did what many of us have been unable to do in the past, and that is to rise above the emotions of romantic love, and face the real facts. Do you know how fortunate you are? You came so close to giving up "yourself" for another person, because of a religious organization.
You speak words that remind me of just how the WT works on people and pulls them in to place. I'm certain you have probably already spoken to the lady about your feelings, and tried to reason with her. Perhaps she has been in since birth, or has many family members there. It's so sad to leave behind someone you love. Perhaps that's why JW's teach their young people not to become involved with "worldly" people, because there is a tug of war, and usually, it goes the other way. The "outsider" ends up pulling the "faithful little JW" out. This is what makes your situation unique. Can you imagine what life would have been like, married to her?
I'm extremely happy for you. I realize it hurts and it will take time to heal. You have made the right decision for yourself. In the long run, when you look back on all of this, you will be glad you were strong and did your "homework" BEFORE you got in deeper.
It makes me think that JW's should really encourage people to study any and all the material written by those not a part of the WTBTS. before they get baptized, so that the person getting baptized will have made a decision based on the well-rounded information from all avenues. Some people like to be led along like mindless drones. Most of us don't. There would still be those who would go ahead and become baptized members, because even with all the information, that is really what they want. But, freedom of choice and unconditional love should always be present without punnishment, labeling, shunning or abandonment. The JW's could make their organization so much more appealing and loving, if they could only see these things. But those in control desire power and manipulation, and that is their motivation.
Keep us informed about how you are doing. Sometimes a real change of scenery can work wonders. Take a trip by yourself to rest and relax; and make some personal goals. The pressure is off now. You are free, with your whole life ahead of you.
You are very welcome here!
