by Raisputin 15 Replies latest social relationships
Thanks Shera.
I am having a very hard time with this right now....I guess maybe it is because I haven't felt the way I do about her with anyone for quite some time...I dunno....Perhaps I am just trying to come to terms an understanding of the sudden 180 degree turn within someone I care about.
Thanks again, I shall continue reading this messageboard and trying to understand......
Sad,
Rais
Love is nature's way of fooling us into reproducing.
Contraception is our way of fooling nature
Dude. Go out and get laid. You obviously need to get out from under sexual opression if you are looking for loopholes to "fornication".
The bible is a very bad source of gaining any kind of moral ethic due to the fact that the bible does not have a moral ethic based upon human rights we have defined in our millenium. I condones slavery and beating your wife, both of which we as a society deem wrong and against the rights of the individual.
It was written 2 thousand years ago by a guy that was claiming to speak to, and for, a monotheistic god. I ask you what do we do with people that claim to talk to and for god nowadays? Either they start a religion or they are given a stylish white canvas jacket with a crotch strap to keep it from "accidentally" coming off.
The reason why your friend is acting that way is because JWs are driven by appearances, in reality they are more concerned about how to behave than what's in the heart. This, of course, is backwards if you ask anyone with common sense about love, relationships, spirituality etc. The sad thing is they will go against their instincts because of what they've been told, which is why most people believe they need to reason with their unreasonable thinking, since that is the dominant force that is controlling them. However, even if she doesn't understand it on a conscious level, if you really care for her and show it in different ways (and it can't help but show) it will have an impact. I guess the question is just what the relationship is to you and to her. I make a distinction between what it IS and what it MEANS, because again the mind is playing tricks on someone like this, and she is more likely to interpret what something means, in this case sex outside of marriage, with a textbook answer from the way she was taught. I don't know how close you two are, but I have heard of prototypically witness girls that preaches full time and all that just drop it because they met someone. Of course, it is possible that some of them just wants to have sex, but if they're not getting love from people in the witness community - including their own family members, but IS getting it from a "worldly guy", they'd have to really hurt themselves to turn away from the one who does love them.
One of the guys that facilitates this local XJW support group was saying a lot of people just end up leaving because they get tired, not because they have a particular issue with the teachings and such. Sometimes it gets to the point where you really hit bottom, but then if someone's there to support you as a human being, it's only natural that you'll welcome it. The thing is it could very well be that the witness has a chance to go back to their witness family too, and in that case they may mistaken the conditional love for the real thing, just because it sounds like a good deal. Though ultimately it will be up to her, people know when someone really loves them - even if they don't know what it is, they know there's something significant going on. For your part don't over extend too much and drive yourself crazy. All you can do is give her a chance, the rest is up to her.
I've had one night stands that were full of more intimacy heat and passion than some relationships that lasted weeks, so I can't see any difference between loving intimacy and 'formication', it's just how one wants to paint it.
The question suggests that there is something 'wrong' with sleeping with someone once for the hell of it, but that if you do it several times and Wove them very much, it make it less wrong.
It's simpler than that.
It's okay to sleep with people provided you're not hurting someone else by doing so.
Just my twopenneth.
A collegue of mine is a Catholic. Very catholic. He has been widowed for some years. We worked very closely together on many joint projects, and came to know each other well as people. In fact we grew to love each other, and said as much. However never once was there any physical contact of any sort between us.
He then, out of the blue, severed all contact with me, saying he was violating his religious beliefs by feeling love for me and felt as if he had already commited an act of fornication. This to me was a ridiculous waste of a nuturing friendship, of a kind that is all too rare today. Religion that causes people to sever ties over possible developments has much to answer for!!!
