Everyone knows I "was" involved with a dub for a very long time, he was my best friend, we had so much in common, sans religion. I cared for him more than I ever cared for anyone ever before in my life. I must admit I still do, always will, in my heart. I even considered converting for him. I know we can't be together, that's a give in, but that's not the pt of this post. He recently started to talk to a girl from where I work on the phone, night after night, she tells me everything about it--he talks about me, how much he cares about me, how close he came from leaving cuz of me, how much he liked waking up next to me. He had a jw girlfriend, at first I was jealous of her, but I came to believe that that was the best thing for him to be with one of his own. Well, he broke up with her, cuz he/her have nothing in common, she bores him, so my friend says. I try really hard not to talk to him, not to look in his eyes, actually I've been ignoring him. Yesterday, he came into work early and sat next to me, and said a couple things to me that sent up a red flag in my mind: he got drunk saturday night, he's depressed, and very lonely. Last night I almost called him, even though I swore I'd never call or have contact with him whatsoever ever again, I am worried about him. But it get's worst: apparently he told his demented, dimwitted brother that he's been talking to a girl from work on the phone, and lying to him about it, so now he's gotta go before 3 elders for immoral conduct. For just talking to a girl on the phone. He also told this girl, who is my friend too, that he's not happy with his religion, she asked him what makes him happy. He said he's the most happy when he's practicing his religion. Okay, that is a head twister. My question is should I get invovled? Should I call him and talk to him? A side note: He would be a pretty normal guy if he wasn't a witness, actually IMO he's only a jehovah of convenience. But that's another topic entirely. Any advice?
Immoral Conduct
by butalbee 14 Replies latest social relationships
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heathen
There are plenty of fish in the sea. The first thing a woman needs to do is realize they cannot change a man .
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Satanus
Sounds like he is in a whirl wind right now. It seems like a bad time for you to jump back in. If you could wait until things settle down for him, it might be better. Who knows, he may get difellowshipped. That would be the best thing that could happen to him, though he wouldn't know it. Even if he got dfd, there would still be a lot of deprogramming to do. Thats my 25 cents worth.
SS
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Beans
Make sure you go to the counseling with the elders and tell them he wakes up beside you in the morning and was drunk on Saturday night! That way you can get him out fer sure eh! Then you can get pagan together without a guilty conscience! Oh yeah and send him to our web site as well!
Beans
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refiners fire
Well Buta. In my experience people always do what they want to. Advice is actually useless. All I do when reading posts like this one is to gauge what the person wants to do. Then I reinforce it. Usually there are clear indicators of what their desire is in what they say in the post.
With this one Im not so sure. I get the impression youre interested, and you care for this guy, but your head is telling you its a bad idea to get involved. Therefore my advice is to hold off. Leave him to sort his own messed up life out. You cant save him from the dubs, only he can do that.
What happened to that nice normal guy you were going out with??
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butalbee
I'm still with that nice guy(scott), although my job is really pushing us apart, and pulling me, well, I'm getting mixed up again. We see each other like once a wk and he's gonna go to Florida in a couple wks and I can't get the time off work, which sucks.
The ex is bipolar--does that surprise anybody? It's just he seems so helpless, depressed. But he is the one that puts himself in these situations--if he only wouldn't get involved with worldly girls, he knows it's wrong, but he does it as though he's looking for a way out,IMO..
LOL.Then you can get pagan together without a guilty conscience!
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refiners fire
Buta.
I'll drop you a email later on. I dont have time now, got to go to work. (8am here) Take it easy.
Hugs.
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pandora
Butalbee-
Reading your post, I finally realized what it is that has a hold on you about this guy.
He seems fixable.
It's a woman thing. We are nurses by nature and we want to fix those who are broken. It's natural, but, as your mind has already told you, it's not good. You know in your mind that you need to look away. The problem is that your heart keeps stealing glances.
LOOK AWAY!!!
You know it's the right thing to do.
Just my thoughts.
Good Luck
-P(J) -
butalbee
You're right, I do want to fix him, I don't like seeing him hurting, it makes me hurt. Even after all this time. I do need to look away, let him fix himself. I don't know, I'm not gonna make matters worse for him, by stepping in. I hate the mind control the watchtower and his brother has on him, I wish he would just think for himself, open up his eyes and see the truth are lies. Thanks guy and gals for the help. Refiner's--I'll be looking forward to your email.
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larc
Pandora, you spoke words of wisdom. You can not fix a man, and a man can not fix a woman. It is best to find someone who has fixed themselves and start from there. If they ain't fixed, you ain't gonna do it.