To Trust or Not To Trust?

by moreisbetter 11 Replies latest watchtower medical

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  moreisbetter

  To trust or not too trust; that is my question. I have a very big problem with trust. WHO? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHO? The JWs? The JW family members? The xJWs? the never ever JWs (aka worldly people)? Who can i trust? Maybe a better question would be - How do I trust? Does anybody know? Anybody here?

  Is this a product of being a JW? or just another mental health case history? Or, the combo package. BOTTOM LINE IS: I still don't know where i belong. WHERE DO I FIT? DO I CHOSE THE FIT OR DOES IT CHOSE ME?

  I'm reallyt hurting 7 upset now, and most likely not accurately expressing the question I would like answered

  I don't want hugs or sympathy. just answers; scientific, logical behavioral modification answers if they exist or your own experiances. PLEASE don't respond if you think I need a swift boot of "get over it" is what I need. been there, done that. sorry if that sounds really angry, but i've had more than my share of it.

  thanks all

  Edited by - moreisbetter on 8 January 2003 3:35:17

  Edited by - moreisbetter on 8 January 2003 5:4:49

  Edited by - moreisbetter on 8 January 2003 14:31:9
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  Goshawk

  You need to learn to trust yourself first.
  You are the only person that knows what is best for you. If you trust in yourself and your insticts, when there is a quiet moment and your emotions are calm, then and only then will you know what you want and need.

  Best of luck,

  Goshawk of the its not pretty but it works class

  Edited by - goshawk on 8 January 2003 6:20:11
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  moreisbetter

  Thank you so very much for your reply. And you are right. I am learning to trust my instincts more and more.

  But i've read some more & trying to figure out what i want & trying to ask for.

  As a child, I was taught that 1) take your probs to Jehovah, 2) don't air you laundry in public 3) DON'T IMPOSE YOUR TROUBLES ON ANYBODY BECAUSE THEY HAVE ENOUGH OF THEIR OWN!!

  As a married person, I was told: "How To Gain Friends: "Nobody really cares about what you want to say to them; Only how much you listen to them talking about themselves". I kidd you not.

  If anyone is wondering or suggesting, yes, I'm in a doctor's care & undergoing prescription therapy. By day, I'm very functional. You would never know the difference.

  more later, please bear with me

  Edited by - moreisbetter on 8 January 2003 5:38:40
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  scumrat

  Hi moreisbetter.

  Trust has to be earned. Also there are different degrees of trust. What you say to one person, you may not say to another. Let your Gut be your guide.
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  Liberty

  Hi moreisbetter,

  Never forget you were brainwashed for years by the Watch Tower cult to trust no one but them, including yourself, so is it any wonder you don't trust anyone or even your own feelings? If you are convinced by the overwhelming evidence that the Watch Tower cult is completely false then you have made your first step toword gaining trust in yourself and your reasoning powers. After trusting yourself to know what is real you will naturally be able to tell who you can trust. This takes a long time and you might get burned once in a while but I've found that most non-cult folks are worthy of trust. Go slow and good luck
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  Yerusalyim

  Trust is indeed a big issue. I think you can trust the JW's to do what's in THEIR best interest, not yours. Some XJW's might have agendas, so be careful. Some "worldly" folks have agendas too, but aren't tainted by the brain washing the Society provides. The doctor can probably best guide you on this, but SELF LOVE, SELF TRUST, and SELF ESTEEM seem to be the areas you need first focus on. Just my humble and uneducated opinion.
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  Brummie

  Moreisbetter

  You are dealing with a lot of "Change" at the moment and that causes a lot of confusion when dealing with issues, do an internet search for "coping with change" and a lot of the issues you mentioned will probably be mentioned there-in.

  I can relate to the trust issues and once faced the same problem, however with time comes trust, you have to give yourself time to meet a whole new batch of friends, be kind on yourself when you make a mistake and trust someone you really shouldnt have. Its a learning curve. Like someone said "Trust is earned", on the other hand you could trust someone until they give you reason not to trust them.

  I do have a tendency to trust people immediately...a life long weakness. However trusting so easily has not caused me any great enemies in life, just the odd one or two, overall I have made some good freinds since leaving the Watchtower, I assume thats because I trusted them.

  Thinking of ya

  Brummie
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  moreisbetter

  Thanks everyone for your kind replies. They were very helpful and are truly appreciated.
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  moreisbetter

  I think its better not to. I will eventually learn.
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  SPAZnik

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=28053&site=3