Always Comparing us to Others

by JH 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • JH
    JH

    The bible says that we shouldn't compare ourselves with other people either physically or spiritually. Some would produce 5 to 1, and others 2 to 1.

    But why is it that the elders always tried to compare us to other witnesses? If we made less than 10 hours of service in a month, they would say that we were below the average. So we were compared with the average witness.

    Every time I had an excuse for something, they would compare me with a person in the congregation with a handicap, just to put me down. For example, if I said I didn't go out in the field service because it was too cold, they would find an example of an old person in the 80's who went out in the serice that particular day. If I said, my car was broken and I couldn't get to the book study, they would say, sister or brother x walks every week to the book study and he lives 2 miles away.

    Did you often feel as if you didn't do enough because the elders compared you to someone else?

    Edited by - JH on 8 January 2003 14:11:15

  • DIAMOND
    DIAMOND

    I agree whole heartedly. The Elders and my pioneer mother always compare me to someone in the Hall who is doing so good. My mother will say I look at Brother Jones who is the same age as you giving the public talk and then I think about you doing nothing. Or an Elder will say you know Brother Smith is in the same situation as you and he makes all the meetings.

    But as soon as Brother Smith or Jones ends up being a wife beater or fooling around on his wife. Or gets DF'd for something. Then he becomes imperfect man.

    DONT COMPARE ME!!!!

    Diamond

  • email
    email

    True... and a very good point...

    Yes always comparing against the average was typical... and always against the older bros/sis of the congregation...

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    The Watchtower publishing company has little room for those who don't produce enough. After all they've got a corporation to run! If you're not doing enough, perhaps a little "negative reinforcement" in terms of what "you should be doing" will light a fire under you.

    If not, don't expect to be included in congregation social gatherings and the like.

  • SpannerintheWorks
    SpannerintheWorks

    JH,

    Did you often feel as if you didn't do enough because the elders compared you to someone else?

    I couldn't give a shit!

    Seriously!

    I'm free now! My wife is not free, but I am!

    Good start, eh!

    Spanner

  • JH
    JH

    Very often congregations compared themselves with other congregations. The CO would make comparisons of our congregation with other congregations. How many pioneers here compared to there.

    Some congregations were so productive, making so many bible studies. So we were always feeling as if we were in competition with them. And since the elders had our monthly reports, we were not supposed to give less hours than what we gave in the past.

    The Watchtower company wants production, not spirituality

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    I always hated hearing about the African/South American brothers who would walk 100 miles over alligator/crocodile/piranha infested streams, through the desert/jungle/pouring rain just to get to a meeting, while we spoiled Americans only had to start up our cars.

    Nina

  • blondie
    blondie

    They say but do not do. The elders are disobeying the direction of the "slave." Hypocrisy reigns! Blondie

    *** w97 6/1 26 Human Weakness Magnifies Jehovah's Power ***


    If illness or advancing age hinders you from accomplishing as much as you would like in Christian activity, do not despair. Instead of viewing your trial as limiting your service to Jehovah, look upon it as an opportunity to increase your reliance on him. Remember, too, that the value of a Christian is gauged, not by his level of activity, but by his faith and depth of love. (Compare Mark 12:41-44.) Loving Jehovah with your whole soul means that you serve him to the best of your own abilitynot that of someone else.Matthew 22:37; Galatians 6:4, 5.

    *** w97 10/15 14-15 Jehovah Cherishes Your Whole-Souled Service ***


    Jehovahs thoughts and ways are much higher than our own. (Isaiah 55:9) We get some insight into the way Jehovah views our individual efforts from 1 Corinthians 12:14-26, where the congregation is likened to a body with many memberseyes, hands, feet, ears, and so forth. Consider, for a moment, the literal body. How ridiculous it would be to compare your eyes with your hands or your feet with your ears! Each member serves a different function, yet all the members are useful and are valued. Similarly, Jehovah cherishes your whole-souled service whether others are doing more or they are doing less.Galatians 6:4.

    Because of limitations imposed by poor health, advancing age, or other circumstances, at times some of us may feel that we are "weaker" or "less honorable" ones. But that is not how Jehovah views matters. The Bible tells us: "The members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary, and the parts . . . we think to be less honorable, these we surround with more abundant honor . . . Nevertheless, God compounded the body, giving honor more abundant to the part which had a lack." (1 Corinthians 12:22-24) So every individual can be dear to Jehovah. He treasures our service within the framework of our limitations.

    What matters to Jehovah, then, is not that you do as much as someone else does but that you do what youyour soulpersonally can do.

    *** w95 3/1 18 Living Up to Our Dedication "Day After Day" ***


    How much effort do we put into this service? We may wish to ask ourselves, Is it my utmost? (2 Timothy 2:15) Circumstances differ. Jehovah is pleased to be served "according to what a person has, not according to what a person does not have." (2 Corinthians 8:12; Luke 21:1-4) No one should judge the depth and sincerity of the dedication of another. Each should personally evaluate the extent of his own devotion to Jehovah. (Galatians 6:4)

    *** w95 6/15 17-18 What Motivates You to Serve God? ***


    "Each One According to His Own Ability"

    If our motives are proper, there is no need constantly to make comparisons

    . For example, little good is accomplished by competitively striving to spend the same amount of time in the ministry that another Christian does or to match that ones accomplishments in preaching. Jesus said to love Jehovah with your whole heart, mind, soul, and strengthnot someone elses. Each persons abilities, stamina, and circumstances differ. If your situation permits, love will motivate you to spend much time in the ministryperhaps even as a full-time pioneer minister. If you are battling an illness, however, the time you spend in the ministry may be less than you would wish. Do not be discouraged. Faithfulness to God is not measured in hours. Having pure motives, you will have reason for joy. Paul wrote: "Let each one prove what his own work is, and then he will have cause for exultation in regard to himself alone, and not in comparison with the other person."Galatians 6:4.

    *** w95 11/15 22-3 Would You Extinguish a Smoldering Wick? ***


    What About Drawing Comparisons?

    Yet, what if a report was presented in such a way as to suggest, You are not as good as these Christians, and you ought to be doing much better than you are? Is the listener likely to embark on an energetic program of improvement? It is probable that he will become discouraged and perhaps give up, especially if comparisons are often made or implied

    . This would be much like a parent asking his child, Why cant you be more like your brother? Such a comment may cause resentment and discouragement, but it is unlikely to promote better behavior. Comparisons may have a similar effect on adults, even making them somewhat resentful toward those with whom they are being compared.

    We cannot expect all to do the same amount in Gods service

    . In one of Jesus illustrations, a certain master gave his slaves either one, two, or five silver talents. These were given "to each one according to his own ability." The two slaves who traded wisely and increased their talents were commended because they were faithful, though their work yielded different results.Matthew 25:14-30.

    The apostle Paul appropriately wrote: "Let each one prove what his own work is, and then he will have cause for exultation in regard to himself alone, and not in comparison with the other person." (Galatians 6:4) To be truly encouraging to others, then, we should try to avoid making negative comparisons.

    *** w94 7/1 27-8 Joyful Submission to Authority ***


    Whatever we undertake in Jehovahs service should be a joy, not a burden. Overseers can do much to make the brothers feel happy to do what they can in serving Jehovah. Conversely, if elders are not careful, they can deprive some of the brothers of their joy. If, for example, they make comparisons, commending those who have reached or exceeded the congregations average in hours spent witnessing and by implication criticizing those who did not attain it, how will those feel who may have had a valid reason for reporting much less time? Could this not make them feel unnecessarily guilty and deprive them of their joy?

    The few hours that some can devote to public witnessing may represent a greater effort

    than the many hours that others spend preaching, in view of younger age, better health, and other circumstances.In this respect, elders are not to judge them. Indeed, it is to Jesus that the Father has given "authority to do judging." (John 5:27) Did Jesus criticize the poor widow because her offering was less than the average? No, he was sensitive to what those two small coins really cost her. They were "all of what she had, her whole living." What deep love for Jehovah they represented! (Mark 12:41-44) Should elders be any less sensitive to the loving efforts of those whose all is numerically below "average"? In terms of love for Jehovah, such efforts might well be above average!
  • caligirl
    caligirl

    Exactly Nina - that always irritated the hell out of me as well.

    One of my (many, many)issues with them was that speakers would spout how "encouraging" the meetings are and how we are passing up great spiritual food and encouragement when we missed meetings, yet every meeting was more of the same - "You are not good enough, you don't measure up, if you went out 10 hours, why not 20, if 20 why not 30? If you can answer once, why not twice? If so and so can make it to the meetings hobbling on stumps for legs because a crocodile ate their legs the last time they crossed the swamp, carrying their book bags between their teeth and underline their watchtowers with a pen in their mouth because gangrene caused them to have their hands amputated after the shark attack, why would you stay home from a meeting when you have a fever of 106 and are coughing up a lung? Made me want to jump up and quote Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live " I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggonit people like me!" every time I heard their brand of "encouragement." No wonder depression was so rampant! Life has enough challenges without having to listen to someone tell you for 5 hours a week what a worthless piece of crap worthy of death you are because you don't "do enough, place enough, answer enough, put forth enough effort in recruiting" etc.

    Edited by - caligirl on 8 January 2003 15:11:11

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    It is part of the motivational technique applied to get more out of the membership. No different than the techniques used in a marketing organization. Its all to do with cult mind manipulations.

    Will

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