Jelly,
My oh my. What have you heard in your life? One thing you've not heard about is spelling and punctuation. You lived there all your life without learning even that butchered excuse called American English? What a disgrace.
Let me help you:
: I have noticed several times
Should be followed by a colon, or perhaps the word "that".
: when you refer to Americans
Comma.
: you use the phrase 'merkins'.
Very well. You do have punctuation symbols on your keyboard after all!
: Now as far as slurs go that one is pretty lame,
Tragic! When you used comma, you should have used a full stop.
: really
Comma!
: I have lived hear
"Hear" is what you do with your ears. "Here" is the word you were looking for.
: all my life (32 years)
Comma!
: and I have never heard any American talk like that.
Surprisingly, this sentence ends in a clause that is grammatically correct.
We'd leave aside right now that it is totally nonsensical. Who'd like to hear everyone talk like you, who are practically illiterate?
: So I think the whole board should chime in and seen
"seen"?
: if you can come up with a better slur for JanH.
I am afraid I have to stick with this simple "slur". If I allowed you to inspire me, I'm afraid it would be a word that would even offend Kent.
: So todays
Try "Today's". This is possessive!
: assignment is
Colon!
: come up with a slur for Americans
Comma!
: so the worlds
My oh my. What do you have against the possessive? Write "world's".
: most hostile little man can stop using that horrid little line.
: Jelly
Are you related to C. T. Russell, the self-proclaimed "jellyfish"?
: (By the way
Here you should place a punctuation symbol: a comma, or perhaps a colon.
: in America
Comma!
: Jans
You must use an apostrophe to mark that you are abbreviating "Jan is", like this: "Jan's"
: a girls
Try "a girl's"
Possessive. It is not the plural of "girl", which would conflict with the singular definite article.
: name)
Btw, in all parts of the world I know of, "jelly" is the name of a sweet substance used for desserts and on cakes, or alternatively the aforementioned sea organism.
You can hardly be named for being sweet, so I would guess you take your name from your lack of backbone.
- Jan
--
"Pluralitas non est ponenda sine neccesitate." - Occam