questions for those shunned

unbeliever

my mom totally shuns my sister. she has for the last 10+ years. even though my mom treats my sister like she is dead she has always been given access to the grandkids. there is 3 aged 9, 11, and 15. mom opened her trap to big a couple of months ago and my sister won't let her see the kids anymore. i don't blame her one damn bit. I can't believe she did not do it sooner. the whole family pretty much turned on her and is really distant. mom is the only dub in the family. I am the only one that really has anything to do with her.

not being able to see the grandkids and the rest of the family only talking to her occassionally seems to have made her dig her heels in harder. she acts like she is getting persecuted. her best friend ( moms second daughter, sister and I have been replaced) actually came and told me to stop treating her like she is the enemy. HELLO!!!!

Do you think there is the slightest possibility that if we shun her all together that she might open her eyes? According to my mom she is doing this out of love. We can use her own words against her. All my brothers and I want is for her to treat my sister like a human. She just went to far last time. Are we just kidding ourselves? Mom has always had me, my brothers, and the grandkids in her life. If she were to lose that all together it might wake her up or make her even more determined. Any experience with this? shunning the shunners.

josephus

i dont know.

i hate that your family suffer, and making it worse might not help. try to do the cristian thing and help her see what is wrong.

my hopes are with you

josephus

unbeliever

We have been trying to make her see what is wrong for years. The fact that NONE of her 4 kids are JW's should tell her something. This is a last ditch effort. Its just causing to much stress to the family. It's all we ever talk about. I got in a huge fight with her today. She won't respect our requests not to talk about her religion.

josephus

im sorry its so tough for you all.

im sorry if i seemed to be judging too, i hope whatever you do goes well.

sincerely

josephus

Ravyn

there is nothing wrong with drawing the line. every human has a right to establish boundaries and to insist they are respected. my mother has been inactive since 1985 and I have been totally out of the BORG since 1997. But only this year did she accept a xmas card from me. I consider it a tremendous victory. with my mother it was not that she was shunning anyone, but that she was afraid to admit that she left JWs herself back in 1985. she was afraid someone who she used to know might happen upon her one day and see her doing something unacceptable. it was difficult for her to stop fearing reprisals. she was just not the type to shun. my father now, he shuns me--which is fine with me becoz he is an insane SOB with or without JWs.

Ravyn

imanaliento

you know what may work best with your mom, try plan A for awhile then plan B if that doesn't work.

to me I feel the family arrangement is so special to our creator and SO unchristlike for them to put the law of shunning in their books. try saying that to her.

animal

I have the same situation... mom is the only dummy.... er... dub... in the family. SHe shunned me for years and years, and has zero access to my wife and kids. My choice, and as long as she chooses losers over family, thats how it stays.

It is tuff enuff to raise kids without the negativity of a cult worshiper confusing issues. May she live a lonely life, without.

Animal

unbeliever

i really can't tell her its unchrist like because I'm an Athiest. i've researched her WT on DF'ing and the only loophole I found where they could have a relationship is if one of them was ill and lived in the same house. they can't use family business as an excuse. mom is not leaving any of us much of a choice. i guess there is really nothing we can do. its just to painful to be around her.

Francois

Well, that kind of treatment is regarded as sovereign by the JWs isn't it? I say try it. Perhaps a taste of their own medicine will work for her.

francois

flower

I had a similar situation and I decided to have very limited contact with my family that was shunning me but still trying to have a relationship with my son. My father and siblings treated me as if they didnt have a daughter or sister anymore when I got disfellowshiped so I decided that was fine..and since they dont have a daughter there is no way they can have a grandson or nephew either.

It has given me a lot more peace to not have to deal with them anymore. There was only negative feelings associated with them anyway. My mother still talks to me occasionally and I will allow her to see my son when I can since she is the only one who hasnt totally shunned me.

I cant say whats best for your family since everyone is different. Hopefully your mom will wake up one day.

flower

questions for those shunned

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