How Did Your Adolescence Go?

by Englishman 16 Replies latest jw friends

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  Englishman

  ..Or did you never have one?

  I was chatting to an old aquaintance about some of the weid and wonderful conflicts that I had gone through when I left the JW's. She works as a therapist of some renown locally, so I was interested in her viewpoint. She said that, in her opinion, anyone who's adolescent development was overly restricted by, for example, their religion, would have to clear away the mental stuff that had been held back during this critical time. The rebellion that takes place during adolescence is an essential part of the maturation process, and must be gone through, even if it happens much later in life.

  It occurs to me that sites such as this actually fulfill a useful role in that we all have a chance to be able to voice that part of our personality that has been supressed for many years. Personally, I don't buy into the over-vaunted theory that this is some form of after-dub Kingdom Hall, rather I rate this place as being extremely therapeutic for anyone who needs to let go of the stuff with which they were imprinted.

  ..And when I say anyone, I really mean almost everyone!

  Englishman.
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  email

  Good post englishman... I've thought about this too...

  The rebellion that takes place during adolescence is an essential part of the maturation process, and must be gone through, even if it happens much later in life.

  Thank god in my case my father was a 'non-believer' and therefore we 'got away' with A LOT of things that your typical JDubs with both parents extremely zealous wouldn't get away with... so my "rebelion" wasn't THAT bad...
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  Thunder Rider

  I was a JW from age 7 through age 30. I defenitely felt the restriction of "theocratic order" growing up. To this day I find it hard to interact with strangers and at parties am not much more than a wall flower. If not for my wife Sheila I probably would never meet new people. My need to "rebel" or exert my opinions in my teenage years stayed in check until I left the "Lie". I found myself doing immature things in my thirty's. It's actually quite enjoyable being my age and doing all those "foolish" things we normally attribute to youth.

  The only thing that I can say was good for me about being so strictly controlled in my teen years is that I went to my marriage bed a virgin. I know a lot of you are going to laugh or snub that comment, but I have been and always be proud that I have only ever been with my Sheila. When I deciced to leave the "Lie", I lost my family, my God and my faith. What I had to hold on to was the pride in my marriage amd my relationship with my wife.

  There is a lot of anger here in the posts against the JW's and I understand it and have some anger myself, but I prefer to dwell not on the loss of the time I spent with them, but on the time I have left to be happy.

  Thunder
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  NeonMadman

  Unfortunately, I was brought up in a home that was essentially without religion. As a result, my "rebellion" manifested itself in getting involved with the JW's.

  No sooner had I hit the street
  Than I met the fools that a young fool meets,
  All in search of truth and bound for glory.
  Listening to our own heartbeats, we stood around the drum
  Though it's fainter now, the older I become... -Jackson Browne, Daddy's Tune
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  Country Girl

  I was raised as a Dub since I was 3 years old. I began "Mothering" my four little brothers at the age of 8. My childhood was spent changing diapers, babysitting, and looking after them at the meetings. I was depressed until I was 19, when I got out. Then I made a big mess of my life because of being so controlled the whole time and then going hog wild! I knew it was a lie at the age of 8. I don't know how I knew, just knew. I couldn't wait to get out. Fortunately, I didn't have one of those Mothers that was overly conservative. She encouraged me in art, music, theatre, reading all viewpoints, and sports. We were also given outside art and music lessons. However, there was also the "no dating", no football games, no boyfriends part, which totally screwed with me because I never learned out to interact with other kids. I did have a "secret" boyfriend in high school, but we weren't allowed to date outside of school. We would sneak away from school and go bowling.. hehheh. I lost him to a girl that put out. <grin> He wasn't worth it. But I didn't know I was depressed until I was finally out and I felt unburdened and more optimistic about the world. It was a relief.

  Now I hate the religion with a passion that knows *no bounds*. It enrages me when Witnesses come around my house! It's all that bottled up anger... hopefully one day I'll learn to deal with it.

  CG
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  Undecided

  I can't complain about my youth, I was happy and enjoyed it all. In the 40s and 50s there wasn't that much controll by the cong., especially since my father was the head of the congregation and he enjoyed life to the full. We had friends who were not JWs and my best friend was a non-JW neighbour. By the time I was 16 I went where I pleased with my friend, since I hadn't caused any trouble and we weren't doing anything to get into any trouble. We would drink a beer ocassionally but this wasn't considered bad by my dad. I played on the basketball team at school and dated worldly girls, but didn't have sex with them as it was considered bad by the worldly girls I dated too.(Maybe I was a little blinded here).

  I do remember that I felt pressured to pioneer during the summer, but I felt it was God who expected it of me. I really didn't want to though. I really didn't feel any rebellion toward anyone.

  Ken P.
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  Elsewhere

  Ugggggg.... horrible.
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  ESTEE

  Thunder Rider,

  What a beautiful post, Thunder! It is heartwarming to hear your loving and devoted words for your wife and your marriage.

  I hope I will feel so happy one day.

  Welcome to the forum...this is your official belated welcome from me.

  ESTEE
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  Banshee

  How did my JW adolescence go? Two words: A NIGHTMARE. Enough said.
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  Nosferatu

  After I turned 18, I quit practicing. I got drunk for the first time at 18, I tried smoking pot at age 23 (I didn't like it), I dated a max of 4 girls at a time, I dressed up as a woman for halloween & won 3rd place in a costume contest (I lost to a guy who had bigger boobs). I lost my virginity at age 20, lived common-law, I could go on and on.

  I am much happier since I left - no restrictions, the guilt slowly went away, and I could do as I pleased.