A BIG Thanks to My Family Here !!!!!

by dottie 18 Replies latest jw experiences

  • dottie
    dottie

    I have been with the board now for a few months now, mostly lurking and posting occaisionally and I love the support and even the opposition that everyone has shown here.

    I know that most newbies do post their "story", and even tho I'm not technically a newbie here anymore, I would like you all that I meet in chat & on the board to know a bit more about me and my jw background. This could be a long post but thanks for taking the time to read it ! Here goes: :|

    I was raised in the so-called truth by my mom, who was assimilated when she was 5 or 6. My dad was disfellowshipped early on in their marriage, but my mom chose to stay with him thinking he would change. I was abused by a non jw relative between the ages of 5 & 8 and have never told a soul until I got married 4 yrs ago. I had a difficult time making friends at the kh because of my mom's marriage, our family was always looked down upon, none of the jw kids my age weren't allowed over because of my dad. When I was 12 or 13 I started to develop my own brain and started questioning things at the kh. But seeing as my self esteem was already very low, I continued on listening to my mom and the borg because it just seemed like the thing to do at the time. At 14 & 15 I was constantly being critcized by the "elders" for my attire or associations, (the other jw kids would tell them I was hanging out with the "bad worldly kids" at school) my mom would never stand up for me, just criticize along side them. This is when I snapped. I started to pretend I was sick so I wouldn't have to go to the meetings or go out in service. I started drinking, smoking doing drugs, & sneaking out for the whole weekend (among other things ;) ) [You may be wondering where my dad was in all this, he was working away from home, coming home every weekend or every other weekend (we found out later he had several mistresses on the side)]

    My mom, fed up with my bullsh*t kicked me out of the house at the age of 16 and I stayed with different people with whom I partied all the time. One of these people happened to be a guy 9 yrs older than me. So, I was also kicked out of school & I ended up living with this guy who physically & verbally abused me, and I was young and stupid enough to think it was me, & my fault, etc... Two and a half yrs later I am home alone (which didn't happen often),& I just left. I moved back in with my mom, and we continued to fight about the borg, and I left again after 8 months and moved in with my new boyfriend. This guy was great, did & said all the right things...then I found out from his sister in law that when he was 14 or so was caught in the middle of or about to have sex with his stepsister. At this point in my life I have just moved across the country, away from all of my family, and I find this out about the one person I trusted. I of course left him, got a place with a friend from work and tried to have a "normal" life. This when I had the big "party"(big party) phase in my life. It was during this phase that alot of childhood memories were starting to flood back in front of my eyes. The 2 started to feed off one another and the drinking and the drugs just got worse. At the tail end of this phase I got married, which I know probably wasn't the best time to get married. Around the same time, I started surfing the net and came across some ex jw sites and have been trying to get myself educated about the propaganda of the wts.

    And that brings me to last spring where I found a new family, all with a common background. I just wanted to thank you all for being a part of my "therapy"( so to speak.) You all have no idea as to how you've helped me overcome many issues. For that I am eternally grateful, Thank You.

    Dottie

  • ugg
    ugg

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( dottie ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

  • onacruse
    onacruse

    Dottie, welcome to the forum.

    my self esteem was already very low,

    Care to share a little more about how your self-esteem is improving? For myself, just seeing how many many others there are here that have been through the same things, and that I was not some worthless hopeless weirdo, made my self-esteem jump about 1000%.

    You all have no idea as to how you've helped me overcome many issues.

    hehe...maybe we have a small idea?

    Craig

  • dottie
    dottie

    ugg : Thanks for the hugs...They are always appreciated

    onacruse : My self esteem has grown immensely & I think that has a lot to do with just knowing that I'm not the only one out there

    Dottie

  • searcher
    searcher

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((Dottie))))))))))))))))))))))))

    I am pleased you are finding some comfort here.

    You can always shelter under my bridge if things get you down

    My email addy is in my bio if you ever need to talk.

    searcher.

  • Aztec
    Aztec

    Dottie, I love talking to you in chat! You are a really sweet and wonderful person and I hope you continue to grow. I am still on the path as well....(((Dottie)))

    ~Aztec

  • auntiem
    auntiem

    Hey Little Miss Maple Leaf,

    I have tears here doll. I am so glad that I came here and met you. Here is a great big hug from your proud auntie M.((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((dottie)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    You are so brave!

    Luv and hugs always!

    aUnTiE M

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    Welcome Dottie so glad you found a place to heal!

    Katie

  • ESTEE
    ESTEE

    ((((((((((Dottie))))))))))

    Thanks for sharing your story here on the forum with us. I have not yet told my story, only bits and pieces throughout various threads . . . Guess I could write a book. There are lots of things that you wrote about that I relate to. The people in this forum are my family, now. . .

    Love,

    Esther

  • Banshee
    Banshee

    How dare those people post before me?!?!Honey, you are a wonderful girl and I love you already. I am so proud of you being so open about the stuff that happened to you. That takes guts! Maybe I will post my story synopsis soon, too. Who knows?

    ((((((((((((((((Dottie))))))))))))))you are one of my favorite people to talk to here and I am so grateful we met on here. Hopefully, we will get to meet in real life, too.Give yourself a few hugs and pats on the back right now for being a survivor!

    Much love to you!

    ---Banshee (of the glad-to-know-dottie class)

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