Spanking?

by Marcos 14 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

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  Marcos

  What about spanking?

  In most of the world spanking (not beating) is considered a valid form of correction up to a point. That point being at the time it is possible to reason with the child.

  I was spanked and dont resent it.

  In residing in the US and in reading I have noticed that some ethnic groups (African Americans and others) regularly use spanking as a form of correction.

  Is it just a White American and European idea that spanking is categorically bad? I have seen some behaviors among children that would merit corporal punishment. When lacking, other children are more than willing to supply such correction to your child and think nothing of it. Who is better qualified to correct my child? Me or some kid who may not even LIKE my child?

  I know there is disagreement about this but I simply dont understand the sometimes rabid aversion to correcting children.

  Before someone mentions it I would like to say that I am against beating anyone or any form of abuse. However, is corporal punishment, by definition, abuse?

  Please dont misunderstand me. This is a question, not a condemnation of anyone.

  Marcos
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  troucul

  Marcos, no need to worry. I was spanked as a child and do the same with my young'uns. I see no problem with it. I know many on this forum will disagree, having vowed to never 'raise a hand' to their child. I believe that opinion comes from personal experience, because of their parents' overzealous application of scripture. They feel that because there parents physically abused them, they feel they have to operate at the opposite end of the spectrum when it comes to disciplining their children.

  There is a happy medium IMO. Up to a certain age it is reasonable. I don't see a need to spank a child after around 10 or 11, though. Then, a different approach is needed. Then a parent can reason with them.

  There is no use trying to reason with young children. A sore bottom always gets the point across to young children.

  Dr. Spock was an idiot. He had no idea how much trouble he caused to society.

  And no, corporal punishment is not abuse.

  Edited by - troucul on 14 January 2003 22:53:24

  Edited by - troucul on 14 January 2003 22:55:57
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  Elsewhere

  I like getting spankings
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  Aztec

  I have only had to spank my son a few times. The mere threat of it is usually enough to stop him in his tracks. The very few times I've done it it was needed. I hated doing it and afterwards always sat down and spoke with him about why it was necessary. I did it with great hesitation as I received corporal punishment that bordered on child abuse when I was young. My siblings and I received welts and bruises on a reguler basis and were punched, kicked and beaten on a weekly if not daily basis for the smallest infraction. I absolutely refuse to put my son through that and have always been very resistent to using physical punishment whenever possible. I think I've struck a healthy balance.

  ~Aztec
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  Brummie

  My 5&6 sons are like 2 little men, own opinions and stuff, I would feel guilty as sin if I smacked em. Come close a few times but naah, wouldnt feel right...they are 2 little people and dont need bullies around em.

  Not totally against spanking though

  Brummie
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  avishai

  While not categorically disagreeing w/ spanking, I HAVE seen it used as an excuse by the JW's to beat the living crap outa their kids, at the hall & elsewhere. Matter of fact I'm gonna start a threat about jw kh beatings.
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  wednesday

  My son spanked (2 small swats) one of my precious grandbabies. i could have died. the child came screaming for papa and grandma. They are so wonderful, i can't stand the thought of anything hurting them. However, i do know that on rare occ, a swat may be necessary. I just can't stand to watch. generaly a change in my tone of voice works for the tots. or a time out. but with recent exposure to day care, they are picking up biting and hitting.even so, time outs almost always work.

  I was beaten as a chiid and shamed. I will never allow that to happen to my grand children.
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  Dia

  I think spanking should only be used on a very small child in a truly dangerous situation (i.e., a 3-year old runs out into the street).

  Spanking teaches kids that physical violence is okay. It also ingrains them with a disrespect or hatred of their own flesh.

  Some cultures follow a tradition of physical punishment. Insensitivity runs deep in these cultures.

  Using fear of physical punishment to enact a desired behavior is taking the easy way out. It takes work to figure out or learn about creative ways to motivate children. But you create better people when you do.

  Because kids who are taught to fear physical punishment will be tyrants when faced with similar situations as adults. For instance, how to get somebody to do something they want.

  Threaten them? Bully them?

  Only for as long as they can keep the law or the boss at bay.

  Once they decide that's not an option, they will sadly find they don't have ANY options because they never learned another way.

  Ending spanking creates better parents, too. But it requires work on their part.

  I've always found this list very useful:

  What do kids need from parents in order to grow up 'okay'?

  Parents need to be:

  Warm

  Nurturing

  Authoritative

  Confident

  You need all four to accomplish healthy goals in raising kids. And to make an easier transition from spanking to no spanking.

  These things require an investment of time on your part.

  It will pay off one day.
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  Mac

  A little bottom warming party never hurt anyone when administered with love and done out of concern rather than anger!!! Okay........yeah, maybe it did hurt just a little!

  mac, of the didn't spank often but when he did they knew it was serious class

  Edited to add: This just reminded me of an old high school coach I had who possessed a large wooden paddle with holes drilled all over the aggressive end of it. When I inquired as to the function of said holes he replied: "Son, that's for the meat to go through!!!" YIKES!!

  Edited by - mac on 15 January 2003 0:15:13
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  meadow77

  Didn't Dr. Spock's son commit suicide?

  edited to add that as an adult I think a good spanking can be quite rewarding.

  Edited by - meadow77 on 15 January 2003 0:2:3