So many stories from so many people. I've read with them all with interest and sympathy, and felt that if I am going to stick around and be a productive member, I should probably tell my own. I know I am not the only non-JW on this site, and I wanted to offer the perspective of a 'never-was' as to why I am here and participating in the discussions. I will be the first to admit that my association with the WTBTS has been peripheral. I suppose that my interest in the JWs lies in their effect on my family.
My extended family has always been a close one. Nearly 20 years ago, my beloved Aunt began studying with the witnesses. Her involvement led to herself, her husband, and her four children eventually being baptized into the organization. My own nuclear family, for a short time, allowed my Aunt and Uncle to conduct a few "bible studies" in our home. Fortunately, my parents were wise enough to see the organization for what it was: a corporate cult masquerading as the sole path to salvation. While their presence at holidays was missed, my family was, unlike so many of those that I've read about, able to maintain a relationship despite the disparity in our religious lives. As a child, my brother and I spent long stretches with them in the summers, so it happens I attended many JW meetings and social functions with their family as a child. After their involvement with the WT began, we continued the long summer visits with my cousins in their small town, the only difference was that instead of going to church on Sunday, we went with them to their various meetings and activities. I remember absorbing much of the information I heard, particularly their staunch assertions that Armageddon was surely just around the corner. (I vividly remember one horrible New Year's eve in the 80's that I watched the clock for two hours before midnight and for an hour afterward absolutely petrified, because my Aunt and cousins had told me that the "present system of things" would end before that year was over... )
Over the years, I learned just to accept their religious affiliation without much thought. For most of that time, I could believe that the JWs were a harmless sect (though misguided, I felt) and took all of the information my extended family gave me about the religion at face value. My parents, however, had a harder time. It wasn't until the last few years, while I watched my Aunt die from a condition that could have been greatly alleviated, if not eliminated, by blood transfusions and/or an organ transplant she felt her "bible-trained conscience" could not support, that I began to really wonder exactly what my family members had gotten themselves into. My mother, heartbroken at the loss of her baby sister, was treated as a stranger at her funeral service, WT pamphlets thrust at her in her grief. She was my mother's sister long before she was their 'sister', and I couldn't fathom the cold reception. It was soon after that I began to research for myself exactly what it was that JW doctrine was comprised of. I read the WT literature. I read the opposition literature. It didn't take a great leap of logic to weigh the two and determine where common sense and truth lay. It was only with age, and an informed perspective, that I began to see how destructive the influence of the WT organization had been in my family.
Looking back, I now understand how easy it must have been for the JWs at my Aunt's door to draw her in. She was a lonely full-time parent in a small town, whose children were all in school and whose husband worked long hours. She had married young with only a high school education, and the group of ready-made friends with such "special" knowledge was appealing to her. Disillusioned with the church she had attended her whole life, she threw herself into the work of the Kingdom, and it seemed to make her happy. In my experience getting to know the members of her congregation in the years that followed, they impressed me as group full of other lonely people. They were social misfits, typically poorly educated and relentlessly self-involved. They talked endlessly about the coming end of the world, and how those who didn't embrace the truth (read: you and your heathen family!) were going to perish. The more exposure I had to them, the less I liked or respected them. I remember eventually choosing not to spend my summer vacation with my cousins to avoid having to hang out with the witnesses. They talked of how happy their religion made them, but openly discussed the many mental illnesses of congregation members. It seemed like a relatively large percentage of the JW population was on medication for some kind of depression or other psychological condition. My later exposure with other witnesses would reveal the same phenomenon-my experience would seem to indicate that there is a much greater incidence of mental health problems within the WT than in the population at large. It seems to make sense: You'd either have to already be a little troubled to buy into the whole doctrine, or you'd soon be psychologically harmed by the controlling philosophy you adopted. A few years prior to my Aunt's death, my Uncle began having doubts about the religion, and it led to his disfellowshipping and the end of their marriage.
Since my Aunt's death, two of her children have disassociated themselves from the org, while two remain heavily active (one a former bethelite and the other a regular pioneer). The two who have left the organization have faced shunning by their former "brothers and sisters". It has been quite hurtful to them. It's been wonderful, however, to have them participating in family holiday events again. In speaking to both of them, they have said that they were fully aware that their inactivity in the organization would most likely lead to their disassociation. They knew the price they would pay for leaving (one "faded" while the other sent a letter disassociating themselves), and it's been difficult for them. Just as sad is the fact that they are in their late 20's and early 30's and have missed so much in their lives due to their affiliation with the WT. Neither pursued any education after high school, neither has had a meaningful relationship, and they are both ill-equipped socially. It just seems so ridiculous. 1 death, 1 divorce, 1 family divided, 2 uncertain futures, 4 siblings' relationships ruined, and for what? The "Truth"? Hardly.
I am here because I still have family in the org, and I have a zealous co-worker actively trying to recruit from within our company, and I want to be able to refute the information being disseminated in an informed and intelligent manner. The stories and doctrinal discussions have been insightful and inspiring. I have great respect for each of you here who have found your way out of the darkness of the "light" of the WT. I commend your bravery and wish you all the best in your journey in the world.
So that's why I'm here. FYI.
Edited by - Sara Annie on 15 January 2003 12:8:33