They Did Me a Big Favor by DFing Me

by onacruse 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  bikerchic

  musky:

  I think its not so bad though.

  That's cool. We're each in our own place, at our own time, eh? One thing I appreciate about the folks here is that there is virtually no judgmentalism. "In" or "out" or "a little of both," what matters is that we have peace in our hearts about where we are.

  Guest:

  THEY made things easier for me.

  hehe, and in my case they made things possible for me. I would never have gone down the road willingly. Like you say, a blassing in disguise.

  Gopher:

  the way the organization treats people and kicks them to the curb.

  I felt that way, big time. All the elders on my committee had praised me for being such a wonderful Bible student, helping others in the cong, working on quick-builds, blah blah. And then, POOF! out the door. That's one thing that totally touched me as I read the posts here, how that so very many have been discarded like yesterday's newspaper. Plays real hard into the self-esteem.

  borgfree:

  You have a year up on me here. I'm looking forward to how I'm gonna feel when I have another year under my belt. Imagine that, looking forward to something besides Armageddon! LOL

  Kep:

  My siblings have now jumped ship and are enoying a real life.

  I can only speak about this 2nd-hand, because I have no biological children, but Katie (bikerchic) has 5, whom I just "inherited" They're all grown, and all non-dub, and all doing pretty darn good for being worthless hopeless brainless worldly people. [no sarcasm here, eh? LOL]

  Beck:

  knowing that you're not the only one out there

  That reminds me: I should add that Dave (seven006) spent a lot of time on the phone with me between February and July, listening to me rant and rave and blather. And he did help me (ty Dave ). But there's just something about "group" sharing that seems to make a unique difference. Rather like going to Alcoholics Anonymous; you can have all the one-on-one counseling in the world, but it's the group sharing that seems to be the key ingredient.

  Big Tex:

  Nothing says thank you like dog poop.

  So, you were one of those honery neighborhood kids, eh? I like the way somebody said it here: "The best revenge is to live a good life." Oh, yeah.

  Thanks to you all for your replies.

  Craig (aka Mr. bikerchic )
• 

  bikerchic

  Maybe I should give them all a big hug, eh?

  Awwwww........you can give me a big hug instead honey!

  {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Craig}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  AlanF:

  It would be interesting for you to tell exactly what brought down the walls last July.

  It wasn't me.........not until October!

  Katie (the real Mrs.bikerchic)
• 

  LyinEyes

  I remember you being in chat alot Craig back then, so was I. I have been on this forum since Jan, ?for a year now. At first I wasn't really free either,,,,, we have been d/a since July I think. We did it ourselves and I wasnt about to have them d/f me, but looking back now,,,,,, I wonder if I would have done things a little diff..... gone out with a bang instead. But we were not even going to meetings and havent set foot in the hall for along time.

  It still pisses me off they have given themselves the right to d/f people and shun them. But honest as I can be right now,,,,,,,,, I havent totally shaken my JW crap. I think I have one day,,,,,, then it hits me again,,,,,,,, mostly the emotional part of what I had a a JW, a belief, faith , hope, those things that were really personal , between God and me . Now I wonder if there is a God at times. I think that is what I miss ,,,,,,not being a JW. I have no intentions of ever going back. But like I said , being honest,,,,,,,, I do miss some of the things about it and it pisses me off how easily they threw us all away.....of course that was not the first time in my life that someone had thrown me away , or even the second for that matter. Thru all the craziness of this JW stuff,,,, all the shunning, we do learn to depend on ourselves,,,,,, and for me that is something new.
• 

  gumby

  Hi Lyin eyes,

  I think that is what I miss ,,,,,,not being a JW. I have no intentions of ever going back. But like I said , being honest,,,,,,,, I do miss some of the things about it and it pisses me off how easily they threw us all away.

  Me too. There was a family like spirit that existed there. The fact is......there is with OTHER groups too. Ask mouthy. I know you already know this, and I know of the "special" feeling you had as a dub. We were special and different than all others and that made us feel good about ourselves.

  We had a hope others don't talk about ,.........living right here on earth under perfect conditions. We had a comfort that we had found truth.

  Many times certain things remind me that the dubs had SOME things correct. I see truth within it. Many of their ideas and takes on things arent bad, but the problem is.........they demand your obiedience on their ideas. They like so many religions have their good points too. The Mormons reallyhelp their own and community at times. The Catholics help the poor. The Witnesses did their homework on some bible doctrines.

  If we could really believe in the Person of Jesus and his Pa, I suppose we could deal with all this easier..........but that's the hard part

  Gumby
• 

  onacruse

  Dede: hehe, yeah, you are definitely one of the "many many others" I was thinking of that helped me.

  we do learn to depend on ourselves,,,,,, and for me that is something new.

  It takes some getting used to, but it sure feels good. Deciding with myself what I believe is true, instead of letting others decide that for me. Not having to live with the constant nagging sense of dishonesty that I was teaching one thing, and believing another. There are a few things I miss too, but compared to what I don't miss, it's a slam dunk.

  gumby:

  There was a family like spirit that existed there.

  Empasis on "was," at least in my experience. The congregations changed a whole lot over the years, until (at least it seemed to me) the spirit of love and belonging just wasn't that strong anymore. Personally, I think the increasingly abusive use of DFing and the power plays by the army of new elders that came out in the 70s did a lot to stifle the comraderie. If I miss anything, it's the "gold old days" of the 50s and 60s...congregation picnics, working at the assemblies in food service and trucking, going with a bunch of the guys down to the Central hall on Friday afternoon, dragging all the sound equipment and stage stuff to the assembly sight, getting it all set up, nice cozy little book study groups with good times after...that was fun, and a real bonding experience. Seems like so much of that has vaporized.

  That's why having a new community here is such a thrill and relief.

  Craig

  Edited by - onacruse on 16 January 2003 22:36:24
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  rocketman

  Always good having you here Craig.