Nosferatu:
I totally empathize with your situation. Neither of my parents were raised as JWs, so they both had fairly "normal" and "decent" childhoods. They didn't understand the torment to go to school and having to stand out because you were a JW. I don't know how many times a certain teacher in my elementary school would yank me up to my feet by the hair on the nape of my neck for not standing up to sing "O Canada" - she would not excuse me from the room either. I also had to hurt a lot of feelings - explaining why I couldn't go to birthday parties or why I couldn't accept Christmas gifts or Valentines from kids in my class. That part of school was positively torturous for me.
High school was pretty much the same as you said... only my out-of-date clothes were $1/yard bargain fabric, home-sewn with hand-me-down patterns from the 50s and 60s. To top it off, I had to start wearing glasses when I was 15, and only the ugliest frames my mom could find would do. I think it was a conspiracy to keep boys away..... and it worked!!
The best way to cope with it is to realize that parents - almost always - do what they do because they think it's the best way to raise you. I don't do things the way my parents did at all. My parents expected to have me listen and obey whatever they said, and I felt it was an insult to my intelligence to not be able to have a rational discussion with them and come to a compromise. I like to discuss things with my children and get their thoughts and reach a concensus by including them in the decision-making process. I know that my kids think I'm doing it all wrong by the way they roll their eyes.
When a person accepts that their parents were doing the best that they could with the information they had at their disposal, it's a lot easier to forgive and get on with your life, doing the best that YOU can with the information YOU have at YOUR disposal.
Love, Scully