If someone rarely conversed with others, it was either because they were viewed as not spiritual enough or too spiritual.
Did Most At The Kingdom Hall Ignore Or Talk To You
by minimus 24 Replies latest jw friends
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aarque
My family was totally ignored. There were four of us girls close in age and we grew up as JWs. The PO's wife never bothered to learn our names..she would just brush past us and say "Hi kids" when we were in our late teens and early 20's. Most of the others could never get our names straight. I faded away more than twenty years ago and have never been visited by the elders.
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blondie
I found that people conversed in a concentric way.
First, immediate family, spouse, children
Second, next family layer, parents, siblings, nieces, nephews
Third, people they did things with socially in the KH, usually people in their own age group, marital status, economic status, and children/no children (sometimes race plays a big factor)
Fourth, people in their book study group or in the case of elders, other elders and specific MS depending on the chores of the evening.
Of course, this is not hard and fast. Most people rarely get to the meeting more than 10 to 15 minutes early, sometimes less. Ask yourself who they are going to spend their time talking to. Most stay only about 10 to 15 minutes afterwards and that leaves only time to talk to the same ones above. It doesn't matter that they see them at other times or can call them on the phone to discuss the things they do at the hall which are rarely spiritual but social.
It is one thing to be overlooked at the end of the line of people to talk to.
Another aspect is being specifically chosen to be ignored due to not being spiritual enough due to personal choice or congregational designation. Jealousy plays a part in this too especially when someone is perceived as "too spiritual." I have found sisters very territorial about their "best friends" and have had them come up and deliberately interrupt a conversation I was having with one of their "best friends."
The only solution I found over the years that helped me survive (but not enjoy) these circumstances was to seek out the older brothers and sisters, the socially inept, children from divided homes (like I was) or single parent families (like I became).
In the end, it merely highlights that JWs do not truly practice what they preach in this area. Their reputation rides on the backs of a few genuine people who are truly Christlike with or without the WTS.
I have sat at a circuit assembly or district convention and tried to strike up a conversation with an unknown JW family. They look at you like you are nuts. They can hardly wait to rush off to talk to the people they really came to see from their own congregation. And people that ignore you in your own congregation do even more so in this setting because now they have all their old friends from other congregations they haven't talked to for so long, since the last assembly.
All I can think of as I write this is Golden Girl's experience and her husband's with the brothers having to be pushed to come. Too bad you aren't in my area, Golden Girl, because I would be there and have been there for many ill people. I heard an elder say, "I can't do hospitals. I don't like sick people." He expects someone else to say, "I want to" like Jesus did to the leper.
So I hope from this you see what has made me take the final step of fading. It was not the UN issue, or the child abuse issue, nor DFing, nor reading COC, it was the lack of love in the congregations I have attended. In the end that is what Jesus said was the identifying mark. Not preaching, not pioneering, not being an elder, MS, CO or DO, Bethelite, missionary, Nethinim, anointed or GB. Just a caring individual willing to sacrifice some of their personal time for their fellow worshipers.
Blondie
Edited by - Blondie on 18 January 2003 21:32:19
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Dia
Great comments on this thread.
Just want to point out that, as we can all see, JWs are up to their ears in superficiality and superficial relationships.
In my opinion, it's not possible to have a meaningful relationship with anyone who considers it their God-given DUTY to rat on you. And especially to rat on you for the very long and absurd list of things that are drummed into the heads of JWs.
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minimus
It's nice when you hear how some people actually do or did care enough to try to encourage a person or find out how they are really doing.