I need Your Money

by OUTLAW 17 Replies latest jw friends

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  OUTLAW

  Way up here in the Great White North we have an epidemic of full amputee dogs.It comes from laying in the snow too long ,the dogs legs freeze and they have to be cut off..I need your money so I can buy skateboards.I can strap the dogs to the boards and take them for a walk.Right now these dogs are useless and nobody wants them.What good is a watch dog that just lays there and barks?Burglars just step over them while they`re yapping.You can`t play frisbe with them unless your a really good aim.It`s embarrassing to take them out for a drag,they look like an inner tube at the back of a speed boat.Commands like:sit,stay,sic-em are meaningless.These dogs spend thier lives with a plate of food in front of them and alot of newspapers behind them.Send all the money you can,I won`t use much of it for beer...OUTLAW

  Edited by - OUTLAW on 19 January 2003 16:22:6

  Edited by - OUTLAW on 19 January 2003 19:29:32
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  ESTEE

  LOL@OUTLAW !!!!!

  What a "twisted" sense of humor!!! What were you ON when you devised this plan?

  ESTEE
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  Vivamus

  OMG

  LOL, I think.....
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  JH

  Edited by - jh on 19 January 2003 17:43:20
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  ballistic

  My brothers dog lost the use of it's rear legs so to take it on walks they built a two wheeled trolley which they simply strapped to the back end. The dog loved it. Used to get quite a few looks.
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  onacruse

  Outlaw, I can help. I have a Nigerian bank account just plumb full of cash, and I'll be glad to split it with you 50/50. I just need a little operating capital to access the funds. Send me $1,000 and I'll make you rich.
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  johnny cip

  outlaw; no problem. i know they are seeing eye dogs for blind pioneers sisters on welfare. who satan pericuted while in the fs.. what a great awake article ... blind sister continues in the fs with a leg less seeing eye dog..on skate board... how about skies in that snow. now friends if helen keller can put in 80 hours a month , with rover the limbless, wonder mutt. i'm sure our whole cong together can at least match her effort.... jehovah says sent your money for the disabled pioneer worldwide work... i would love to see the picture in the awake, of the dog giving the presentation at the door,,,,lol...john
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  OUTLAW

  Thanks to those who are sending in the cash.The beer fridge is full,and I`ve ordered a truck load of skate boards.Soon I will be able to help dogs in other countries as well..>>>Hey Estee&Vivamus,this was no laughing matter.I was nearly out of beer..>>>Hey JH,thanks big spender..>>>Hey Ballistic,cool story,now break out your wallet,LOL!..>>>Hey onacruse,sounds like a good deal.I`ve just got to peel JH`s money off the screen..>>>Hey JohnnyCip,WBTS moniters this site,this could give them ideas for an article.Cut the legs off your dog and sell more magazines.There could be a few family pets without legs in the morning..Yikes,what have I done?..Send More Money!! WBTS may start wacking the legs off dogs,we need to help the poor dogs and I`m almost out of Crown Royal,LOL!...OUTLAW
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  Mary

  As soon as I get confirmation that I've won the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, I'll send you all the money you want.
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  Stephanus

  Too true, Mary! Very high on my "When I win Powerball" To Do List is "Fly Outlaw out to Oz to attend an apostofest". Who knows, out here, he may find some drinking companions who can maintain the same level of beer consumption!