Lyin Eyes,
: Here is some thoughts to God:
: Forgive me God ........let me ask just one more ( ok a few) more questions
IMNSHO, dont EVER ask forgiveness of the one that screwed you up in the first place. Did you ASK to be "born in sin" and misery? What did you do you wrong when you were born? Be born? Was that YOUR fault?
If you think you need to plead for forgiveness to the very deity who set up to be messed up AT BIRTH, then please present your evidence. Did YOU ask to be born to inevitably break the laws of the One who made it impossible for you keep them?
: ,,,,,,( well Abraham got away with questioning the Almighty and he was considered God's friend).. here goes :
Ok, we'll do Abraham. God told Abraham to kill his son to please God. (Just like any normal human Father would do to any of his sons. This stuff happens every day in the human world. Fathers routinely kill their sons and roast them to please some deity. Right.)
Abraham said, "Ok, I'll do it. You'll kill me if I don't do it, so I'll do it." (Gods like Jehovah take great pleasure in winning at any cost. Well, they hold all the cards, and they cheat.)
Abraham raises up the knife to kill Isaac and Jehovah says, "time out! You really WOULD kill your own kid for me, huh?"
Abraham says, "Yeah. You'd kill ME if I didn't kill HIM. It's a JUNGLE in your world, Jehovah."
God says, "I will bless your seed."
Abraham says, "You mean my sperm? You'll bless my sperm?"
God says, "That won't play well over the generations. From now on "seed" means, your kids and their kids.
Abraham says, but I know that a guy named Onan will spill his "seed" on the ground so as to not get his sister-in-law pregnant, so what do you mean by "seed," God?
God: I will kill you if you bring up stuff like this.
Abraham. Ok, God. I understand. Mum's the word about that "seed" part. "Seed" means children and such.
God: yep.
Abraham: I"m just about a hundred million years old now, God. I don't think I have any sperm left, and if I do, they are all rancid. Can you help me out here?
God: yep. I'll get you some new sperm tomorrow.
Abraham: Thanks, God. Can you get me a younger bitch? Sarah, is really a hag. She lost all the air out of her boobs hundreds of years ago. They look like those wallets they sell in Tijuana: long and flat. Not an ounce of air in either of them.
God: don't mess with me, Abraham. You got an old bitch, you get old boobs. That's the way it works. I'm a LOVING God, but I'm also a prankster. Keep the bitch. I'll get you the sperm. I have a plan.
Abraham: Ok, God. You'd kill me if I tried to debate this subject with you and exercise my freedom of speech to express myself, right?
God: Yep. In New York Minute.
Abraham: I'm so grateful I had such a tolerant God who stopped me from killing Isaac after ordering me to kill Isaac, and when I tried to kill Isaac, you stopped me from killing Isaac as you ordered me to do so in the first place. THANK YOU, God.
God: Yep. I'm an unchanging God, and don't you ever forget it.
Abraham: Or?
God: Or I'll KILL you and your little dog Toto, too!
Bible drama and idiocy. Ain't it great?
I wrote an essay on the Abraham/Isaac wannabe massacre and I still might be able to find a copy of it if anyone is interested. It is an exercise in yet another example of Biblio-Idiocy and Bible-God's hypocricy and duplicity. Bible-God is SOOOOO much like the Roman and Greek and Egyptian Gods, it is scary to think about it.
Farkel
Edited by - Farkel on 23 January 2003 2:31:0
