My top 10 list on calling in sick for work

by butalbee 10 Replies latest social humour

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  butalbee

  Top 10 reasons given as call in excuses to get out of work: I have heard everything imaginable. Here's my favorites.

  10. "My goldfish escaped." Oh, yeah, where'd it go?

  9. "My bicycle ran out of gas." Huh?

  8. "My father just came up from Virginia." Um, okay, but I thought you were just on funeral leave for his death?

  7. "I won't be in to work until further notice, I'm joining the circus."

  Oh, now why doesn't that surprise me.

  6. "I need some time off to re-evaluate my life?' Yes, and look for another job!

  5. "I didn't really think I had to work today." Do I just schedule you for no reason?

  4. "My wife has PMS." Say no more.

  3. "I will be late until further notice." You were scheduled 2 hours ago?

  2. "I have a dentist appointment." On a sunday???

  1. "I super-glued my ass to my toilet seat." No other excuse comes close to this classic. An employee called in with this excuse, as God is my witness, this sunday. I admittedly LMAO. He sounded so serious, I have to wonder IF this was true.

  And here's the runner's up:

  "It's too cold to go out of the house." It's winter!

  "I'm gonna run late into the next day." Um-okay?

  "I don't like working with people." Exactly what did you think customer service meant?

  "I just realized that it's my birthday and my parents are having the party today." As per my records his birthday is in the summer.

  "I have a religious activity and can not work today afterall." unavailable: Monday, Wednesday, Thrusday until 11:00 am, can't work Tuesday, Saturday, or Sunday.

  "I have no clean underwear." Alrighty then.
• 

  xjw_b12

  My number 1 reason is.....

  The internet connection at work is down, [ which means i can't access j-w.com ] so I will be working from home.
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  refiners fire

  ..."I have a religious activity and can not work today afterall." unavailable: Monday, Wednesday, Thrusday until 11:00 am, can't work Tuesday, Saturday, or Sunday".....

  Im going to join this church straight away. I cant work because its generating revenue for the wicked system of things, but I can still suck a pension from the state. Good plan.
• 

  meadow77

  I always liked saying I had Mad Cow Disease
• 

  butalbee

  Hey, there Refiners, love the pic profile, could you please send me an email with a copy.

  I did use the mad cow disease excuse the ONLY time I've ever called in sick. My manager asked me if I was gonna start mooing.
• 

  xenawarrior

  Butalbee: LOL !!!!

  I run a staffing service and over the years, every time I thought I've heard it all, I hear something more absurd. Like:

  "I can't start work tomorrow, I have to make my lunch" - What? Does this guy work every other day? Makes his lunch one day and works the next

  "I can't go to work because I ate too much popcorn"

  One woman's mother had a heart attack, then she died and was reborn to have a later stroke and a fall down the stairs- all needing the employee's attention.

  GEEZ, can't they just go to work?

  XW
• 

  LB

  Guess I'm way too honest. I've called an employer monday morning and said I need the day off because I'm having a mental health day. Because I have a racquetball game. Because I'm feeling pretty lazy. They've always laughed at whatever lame excuse I come up with and ask if I'll be in the next day.
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  back2dafront

  2 years ago on Martin Luther King's b-day my friends suggested I call in "black." hahaha I called in sick nonetheless.
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  hippikon

  I used up all my sick days so I called in Dead
• 

  ballistic

  Sometimes, it really is best to be honest with your boss, especially if people talk and they might really know where you were before they ask you.

  I actually got away with... not turning up for work or calling in after getting drunk and ending up in the audience of "The Big Breakfast" being filmed on the beach.

  The boss said, "ok, fine, at least you didn't tell me you'd had a dodgey curry like every other member of staff."