Do we come here to "convince" ourselves?

by bittersweet 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • bittersweet
    bittersweet

    OK...so the other day my husband(he is still an active witness) starts questioning me about why I come to x-jw sites.

    He said the reason people come to these types of sites,is to convince themselves that they made the right decision to leave the"truth".I told him I come here to get support from others who feel they were tricked into believing something that wasn't true.He knows I feel my life has been taken away from me because I wasted so many years following their doctrines.I told him it helps me to know I am not alone in my feelings.He is still convinced that people are afraid they are wrong,and just come here to keep finding reasons to stay away from the "truth".He doesn't understand that we know what the real truth is.

    I was just curious what everyone else thought about this.Do you feel we are "convincing" ourselves that we made the right decision to leave?

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    That's not the main reason. Even if "convincing ourselves we made the right decision" WERE the main reason, that wouldn't be all bad.

    The most important thing is for an individual to reach the right conclusion for him/herself, and then stick to it.

    I was already convinced to not return to the JW's by the time I started lurking here in 2001. Some others ARE convinced by the information they read here before they actually participate in the forum.

    By the time we're here we don't need any more convincing. At this point it is usually just sharing of ideas and feelings (and bad old memories). Getting these things out in the open helps us continue to cope with whatever pressure we may still feel from relatives in the organization.

    Has your husband read this site for himself?

  • Vivamus
    Vivamus

    No, I know I made the right choice.

    I'm here cuz I'm a board junky.

    And cuz when I was in a low spot, getting DF, and didn't know what to do, I met an EX-JW, who talked to me about it, and who kept me sane at the time. If I can repay some of that kindness by being here, hoping some witness will read and know that their doubts are valid, and reasonable - I'm happy.

    But I'm mostly here cuz I'm a board junky

  • larc
    larc

    I made my decision to fade away forty years ago. I was convinced a very long time ago that I had made the right decision. I don't need any convincing whatsoever. I am very happy with my choices and shudder to think what my life would have been like if I had stayed "in". After several people post here, perhaps you should ask your husband read our responses to his assertion.

  • Brummie
    Brummie

    a lot of us were convinced before the internet existed...what would he say to that. I wouldnt have left if I wasnt convinced 100%, I hung on until I knew for sure that it was wrong.

    If someone comes here to "convince" themselves, what would that matter? Like some need convincing that leaving mormonism was the right thing to do...sounds ok to me.

    The truth of the matter is, JWs are discouraged from coming here because they might just be convinced that they havent got the truth...Now thats were the problem really lies for the WT. They are insecure...If they were not insecure they wouldnt have a problem coming here themselves, the JW discusion boards are so insecure that they only go there to convince themselves that they have the truth, see the same thing can be said either way.

    Brummie

  • minimus
    minimus

    Convince can mean different things. The basic meaning is to prove, to demonstrate, to satisfy or assure by argument or proof. Everyday that I come here, I am more convinced of the real "truth". I am assured that the "truth' of the organization is not the same as the truth of the Bible. Everytime your husband goes to a meeting he is supposed to become more convinced that this is the "truth". Does HE go because he needs convincing???

  • blondie
    blondie
    Everytime your husband goes to a meeting he is supposed to become more convinced that this is the "truth". Does HE go because he needs convincing???

    That is exactly what I thought when I read this thread, minimus.

    That is why there are so many meetings.

    Blondie

  • NeonMadman
    NeonMadman

    I'm WAY beyond needing to be convinced that the JW's are a false religion. I'm here mainly for two reasons:

    • To help others needing to be shown that the WT is false
    • And because it amuses me to post here on a variety of topics.
  • mouthy
    mouthy

    The reason I come here -is because I might run into some one who is JUST doubting-& needs to speak to someone who wont report them -When I was kicked out in 1987 there were nothing like this- I was desperate. Until I went to Pa.Convention (1989) Then the HOLY SPIRIT ( sorry unbelievers) did as the scriptures promised "Taught me all things" what is the ALL THINGS I needed to know????? That works wouldnt cut it!that men shouldnt be listened too!that we can go into our rooms & speak to MY GOD in private & not give a fig what that organization said I HAD to do.. I do wish your hubby would stop telling me WHY I am doing this- I use they gray stuff between my ears now-Yep ! I still do boo-boos but the flesh is weak the spirit is willing.... He isnt finished with me yet.I am so glad the WT is!!!!!

  • email
    email

    Hi bittersweet,

    IMHO we come here for the same reason he goes to the KH... now ask him... why do you keep going to the KH for 5 meetings a week?... are you not convinced that it's the "truth" and you have to keep going over and over for reinforcement?

    Most of us come here at first because we've been SHUNNED from our "friends" and family... so we look for people that have gone thru similar experiences and can relate.. and with whom we can vent and talk about the cult that used to control our lives before. Birds of a feather fly together

    My 2 cents

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