any similar experience?

chris_mj_gum18

i'm also a newbie & was wondering if any brother or sister had gone thru this same experience? any advice is welcome. one knows 1 Co 7:39 quite well among the Witnesses. this experience is somewhat related to that. often in most congs., sisters outnumber brothers [Ps 68:11]. so brothers usually have a wide choice to select from among the sisters. what if one was shown an interest by a brother, a mutual understanding seems to be in progress & then quite suddenly, he drops her out of the picture? why would a brother continue to cultivate a romantic interest on one sister when on the other hand he is pursuing another? this can apply vice versa of course. sad to say, this brother is also an elder, so one tends to expect more of him. here comes a close friend of his, a ms, who at first seems to be a real friend/confidant. you let him know of the events that just happened, how you were kept as a spare tire just in case this other relation doesn't work out. in the end, he does the same thing to you as his friend, the elder. then comes another brother who you thought to be different, another ms, but plays with your feelings too. talk about a streak of unfortunate romantic involvements. the effect? short of going crazy. now i know why some turn outside the cong. i know it's not advisable but i think i understand the reasons why. my question is how do you cope with the resulting emotional trauma? and continue in your service to Jah? a piece of advice, brothers & sisters?

somebody

May I ask how old you are?

my question is how do you cope with the resulting emotional trauma? and continue in your service to Jah?

If this has caused you "emotional trauma" and it's effecting your service to God, then maybe you just should wait before you think about dating. That is what the "brothers" where doing perhaps? Dating? What kind of a "mutual understanding" did you have with the elder? Did he ask you to date him? or did he just ask you out to movie or something just once? I only ask becuase maybe he spent time with you as a friend, but you thought it was more. my ipinion is that you can't really get to know a person unless you date them. If you find that they aren't compatable with you, it's only normal to try dating someone else. That usually goes on until you find the right person. If the elder didn't bother to even tell you that you weren't compatable with him, then you don't need someone like that anyway!

peace,
somebody

chris_mj_gum18

i am 31 yrs. old. thanks for the advice. appreciate it. to answer your questions- yes, we did go out on dates not just once & even went on Bible studies together often. true, he didn't inform me about being incompatible or anything like that. no notice at all. perhaps you're right, a person like that is not worth it anyway. thank you for the input. best regards.

somebody

I thought you were 18 because of the 18 at the end of your name.

chris_mj_gum18

thanks again, GwenMarie, appreciate your advice. best regards & thanks also for the prayers.

Prisca

Dear Chris,

Just want you to know you're not the only one this has happened to. It's happened to friends of mine too. As you say, it's easy to see why some would prefer ones outside the organisation to these "brothers".

Try not to take it too personally. These guys KNOW they are in a gold mine of fresh young sisters eager to get marry. Sometimes it goes to their head and they think they can do anything they please, picking and choosing like little boys in a sweet shop.

If these guys are so fickle, just be glad you're not stuck in marriage to them. Enjoy your freedom, and widen out in your association of the opposite sex. Don't limit yourself to just the guys in your cong, get out and get to know guys more worth your while!

chris_mj_gum18

Prisca,
Thanks for the note. Nice illustration by the way of certain brothers compared to little boys selecting & picking in a sweet shop.

DevilsAdvocate_DA

Prisca,

I know you do not need a pat on the back, but that was a very good post you make to Chris.

DA

P.S. For a woman you do very well. Just kidding.

outnfree

Dear Chris,

I am confused. You talk here about dating and a "streak of unfortunate romantic involvements" and yet on knight's "I am new" thread you say "i am the only Witness in a divided household?" And your posts were made within the same hour, same date. Is the dating situation, then, just a long ago experience before you married outside the faith? Were you just bringing this dating business up to make the point that elders and MS can also act badly (despite their being appointed by holy spirit)? I think Somebody and Prisca were under the impression that this was a present dilemma?

outnfree

chris_mj_gum18

Brenda,
The dating & 'unfortunate romantic involvements' happened in the past. 'I am the only Witness in a divided household' meaning my parents are not Witnesses. I wasn't born in the truth, but rather born & raised by this world. Born & raised previously by Babylon the Great. I did not marry outside the faith, I never did marry. 'Marrying outside the faith' was your claim, your assumption. I brought up the dating experience to show that one can't expect perfection from those used by Jehovah God, just as we can't expect perfection from Jesus' apostles though guided by the holy spirit. Being guided by the holy spirit does not completely eliminate the effects of Adamic sin including sickness, sin, & human flaws. This is shown by the fact that all those miraculously healed by the holy spirit in Jesus' time eventually grew old & died. Only the ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ can completely reverse the effects of Adamic sin. If the apostles themselves were not free from making human errors, should we expect elders & ms to be greater than the apostles? That they will not make mistakes at all? It is interesting to note that despite their imperfections, Jesus himself did not forsake his faithful apostles. And since Jesus closely resembles how Jehovah God acts & thinks, it goes on to follow that Jehovah God did not forsake Jesus' apostles either. [Mt 3:17, Jn 14:9, 10, 20] Jehovah God continually used them despite their imperfections, provided they would accept His correction, in His due time, & humbly acknowledge the guidance given by Jehovah's holy spirit. Once again, you have nothing to worry, if it's simply man's work, it will for sure fail, but if it's Jehovah's work, it will successfully prevail.
[Acts 5:34-39]

any similar experience?

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