Hello all,
I have only been an active member for a couple of days here, or a newbie as we are affectionatley called. Since I have been here though, on a few occasions, I have been asked about my choice of nicname and what it means or why I chose it. Since there is a reason behind it, and in my mind it stands for something, I thought I would share it's orgins with you all. Hopefully, some of you will find it interesting.
As a teenage witness growing up, i attended alot of witness parties. I am sure you know the type. Basically as there was no real outlet for socialization, and you could not attend scholl parties or dances, a trend began to develop at least in my area, where witness kids would get together for house parties, where there would be dancing and music and all sorts of fun and healthy snacks. These parties were always under adult supervision. Although it seemed to me that the adults always seemed to be upstairs or in the kitchen, sitting around gossiping and drinking. On occasion they would pop there head into the party, take a good look around to make sure that all the kids, if they were doing anything wrong at all, had the decency to at least take it outside, so that there ass was covered.
Music had always been a touching subject. As with the exception of the kingdom songs, Satan spoke through all forms of music and was depleting the morals of the young. Certain songs were taboo. Anything by Madonna, ACDC or the Cult brought huge sighs of disapproval from the "chaparones". And if they got wind of it playing, they would put down there alchohal and come running.
One of the sons that on occasion, seemed to slip by the censors, because it's lyrics were almost indiscernable was by a band called Ministry. The song......Jesus Built My Hot Rod. Eventually they got wise to it and that song to was on a list of the not to be played.
When I look back now on those years of having things like faith and hope and god jammed down my throat while my heart was being ripped out, I am extremeley bitter as you can no doubt tell. Despite years of continueing on with those people, my doubts and questions and basic disobediance to all of the rules eventually caught up with me and I was banished. I was allowed back due to my Oscar winning performance repentance. However I slowly left on my own accord. I was eventually graced with a visit. There was a half assed attempt to pin me with something. When that failed I was told, "well the rest is up to you, if you want to make an effort to come back you can, when you show signs of a more willing spirit we will do we what we can to help if you prove yourself, but until that time you are on your own". Basically it was a we won't call you, so you call us.
So where am I now? Well..... and please do not take any offence to this if any of you have found any happiness in another form of religion (if it works for you, that's great).....but i personally am anti religion in any organized form.....i think it is a sham......i think it is a money pit that holds it's members captive by manipulation and fear......if god does exist he would not what to be represented by anything even remotley close to the religions of today.
Now I look back on those years and feel a sense of loss. I was deprived of alot of the learning expeirence young people need. My teenage years were not spent "enjoying the days of your youth" but rather spent living in fear of my actions, knocking on doors, and trying to please a group of "grey haired men" who knew nothing of my feelings and our dreams, but felt i was a resource in continuing there work.
So.....to sum up.....my feelings are this......Jesus may have built Ministry a hot rod......but the dude stole mine.
end of story