SHUNNED BUT NOT DISFELLOWSHIPPED WHY ???

by nightwarrior 13 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Sentinel

  We all know that within the borg, there are "clicks"--smaller groups of people who can really get big heads and shun fellow dubs. They will tell you it doesn't happen. We know it does. Who are they fooling?

  And the fear factor, of being seen with someone who is "weak" spiritually, as they put it. Does not the thought occur to these people, that showing love is the most important thing? Guess not.

  Reminds me of gradeschool behavior. I'm glad I'm past that now. The "conform or we will reject you" interaction is something I avoid.
• 

  yumbby

  My whole family was shunned, my mom was being investigated for apostasy because she started partaking. Even my grandma who didn't even live with us. I was a regular auxilary pioneer and my dad was a ministeral servant. We walk in the hall and NO ONE would speak to us. When we sat down people closer than two rows away would move their books. It was awful. Of course my mom being the crazy person she is decided we were being persucuted. So she made us sit in the front row, not bow our heads to the prayers and not sing. Needless to say the whole congregation would stare at us. My dad was removed from position for "not controlling his family". My mom and I would meet for field service every single day anyway. No one would speak to us. We would just meet and then go back home. What a weird time. She was eventually disfellowshipped. But it was later recended.... another story for another topic. Sorry for rambling.
• 

  Pistoff

  As I read this thread, and the horror stories, esp yumbby, her poor mother just responding to a desire to be one with Christ, I think that this best describes why the "friends" would shun someone:

  When the blind lead the blind, you get a dynasty of assholes.

  I know I have quoted that one before, but boy does it fit.
• 

  RAYZORBLADE

  I think it was back in 1987 or 1988. I was living in Toronto. That is the LAST place that I was an active JW. I still do not know officially if I was DF/DA or otherwise, but we'll say this: it doesn't matter.

  So, I am thinking of returning to eastern Canada to visit my family. I decided to fly back east for a long weekend. Remember, I am about 1000 miles from Toronto.

  OK...so, I am out and about in this small eastern Maritime city. I decide somewhere along the way, that I am hungry, and I should get something to eat. I walk into a local fastfood joint, and make my order. I get what I want, take my tray and head for some tables off to the side.

  This is where it gets weird.

  As I'm seated there, I do notice, vaguely, that there are some people seated off to the side of me, not near, but several booths over. I am NOT paying attention as to WHO they are, but I guess, they somehow recognize me, after me not having been there in almost 5 years.

  All of a sudden, I hear a whooosh of people leaving ALL the tables. I find the commotion odd, so I look over. Then it dawns on me, the woman who was hurrying people away, was a sister I had remembered from several years before. I did a double-take, because she was pointing in my direction: I was the ONLY person seated in the entire section. It was her two teenage kids, and some other JW teens I gather, that unknowingly were sitting TOO close to me. I mean...hello!? I was NOT talking to them, nor even looking at them. My mindset was that I was probably DF/DA'd. But I was not conspicuous by any means nor in anyway shape or form, trying to speak with these people.

  It was weird. I did NOT leave the restaurant. I stayed put, ate my meal, got up, and noticed that NONE of them were even in the restaurant. Weird! But that was odd, considering I didn't think it was public knowledge back in Toronto, 'why I was disfellowshipped/disassociated', and here I am two provinces away, and it's like, I've got the plague! How did they even know?

  Odd!

  I did head back east this past summer. All the time I was well aware of the fact that I could run into any of my former congregation members.

  Interestingly enough, I forgot, looks can change in 20 years. I ran into people I had not seen in about that long (worldly friends from high school) and we all look so different now. Ironically, I was at my brother's pagan wedding (Celtic theme) down there, and the weekend of my brother's wedding, I found out later, was the Circuit Assembly in Moncton, so NO one was around. I was not worried about it. After almost 20 years, you really aren't affected by it as much. Afterall, you have solid worldly friends now .

  The shunning issue is a burning one. More so for those that have either left quietly, or have been recently DF/DA'd. It is a real killer, and it has to be one of the WTBTS nastiest edicts.

  I was not officially DF/DA'd (that I know of), but I was shunned, or avoided in a rather unusual fashion.

  Edited by - RAYZORBLADE on 29 January 2003 6:19:48