A poll of sorts: How long have you been a "fader" for?

by SecretSlaveClass 31 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

Giordano

1) How long have you been a fader for? Never was a fader we left..... that was 48 years or so ago. We moved, some how our publisher's cards went missing. That was strange because I was the publisher card servant.
2) How often do you still get pressure from congregation members and/or family to return as an active witness? Never when we left we were in the wind.
3) What is the longest period you have ever known anyone to successfully fade? A successful fade in my view, would be someone who has faded for a period of time but no longer receives any pressure to return to active service (completely left alone).
My wife and I
4) If you have been a fader for more than two years, do you fear you would eventually have to face DA or DF?
I suppose it is possible we live in a small city...... population 7000....... know a couple of the JW's socially. We don't discuss the religion...... they like to hang with us because we are funny and thoughtful and willing to discuss anything else. Among our friends I rip the WTBTS a new one any chance I get.
5) As faders, how many of you are being treated as if you were DF'd/DA'd?
My cousin who is my age and a JW calls me once a month her brother who's at the farm hasn't spoken to me for over 40 years. My niece who was born 7 years after we left will not visit........ I'm fine with it.
6) Have you faded rather than DA'd due to the possible loss family or is it because you have no network of friends outside the Org? In the mid 1960's you weren't shunned if you DA. We actually had a net work of ex JW's friends so it wasn't a problem.
7) If you consider yourself a fader how many meetings/assemblies/ field service groups do you still attend on average per month?
8) As a fader do you feel that the Org is completely powerless over your life? As one who left........ Absolutely!
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Vidiot

1) Eight years, and 2) Yes.
Have to think about the rest.
ToesUp

1) How long have you been a fader for? 3years
2) How often do you still get pressure from congregation members and/or family to return as an active witness? Not too much anymore. Pretty much told everyone to "buzz off."
3) What is the longest period you have ever known anyone to successfully fade? A successful fade in my view, would be someone who has faded for a period of time but no longer receives any pressure to return to active service (completely left alone). Don't know too many, if any.
4) If you have been a fader for more than two years, do you fear you would eventually have to face DA or DF?
Don't really care but they had better have a good reason in writing so I can forward to my attorney.
5) As faders, how many of you are being treated as if you were DF'd/DA'd? Haven't bumped into too many people. My spouses family still treats us the same (they don't know too much).
6) Have you faded rather than DA'd due to the possible loss family or is it because you have no network of friends outside the Org? N/A
7) If you consider yourself a fader how many meetings/assemblies/ field service groups do you still attend on average per month? None. Haven't stepped foot in KH in 3 years and won't.
8) As a fader do you feel that the Org is completely powerless over your life? Yup. They are just a bunch of high and mighty, narcissistic men. Nothing more.
goingthruthemotions

started my fade in 2014...and still trying to get out of hotel California. if my wife wasn't so in...this shite would have been done with along time ago.
OneEyedJoe

1) 1-2 years depending on how this counting.
2) I seem to get the ol' unannounced 2 elder visit every 6 months. Due to the dynamics of my family, I think it's pretty clear that I'd have no problem cutting them off, so they don't push too hard.
3) I don't know any other faders personally
4) I actually look forward to the prospect of being DFed. Only reason I haven't DAed is at the pleading of my still-in wife.
5) kinda hard to tell. I didn't have many cultist friends, but the ones I did have haven't completely cut me off so I guess I'm not being shunned. There might be some in the congregation that would shun me, but I never bump into them so I wouldn't know.
6) no. As stated earlier, I've only faded as a compromise for my wife.
7) I haven't done any cult activities for about a year
8) the cult still controls my wife, and thus has a good amount of power to make my life miserable.
OnTheWayOut

1) How long have you been a fader for?
Coming up on 10 years of fading. I resigned as an elder in August 2006.
2) How often do you still get pressure from congregation members and/or family to return as an active witness?
I recently attended my sister's funeral and my JW mother's congregation members did try to say things about getting me activated again. So it comes up from time-to-time. But my own congregation, the elders I served with- They gave up after the first year or so. I was kind of a bully toward them and it worked to keep them away.
3) What is the longest period you have ever known anyone to successfully fade? A successful fade in my view, would be someone who has faded for a period of time but no longer receives any pressure to return to active service (completely left alone).
I have no clue about "completely left alone." I suppose there are many whose family are weak JW's but afraid to stop attending and there are those that don't interact at all with the JW's. While I am not COMPLETELY left alone, it's close enough.

4) If you have been a fader for more than two years, do you fear you would eventually have to face DA or DF?
It is a real thing. Do not assume a fader is ever clear of that. If my congregation elders heard a thing about me that could get me into the judicial committee, I assume they would love to do it. But it is not something that I fear. If it cannot be avoided, I would be okay.
5) As faders, how many of you are being treated as if you were DF'd/DA'd?
Some of my wife's friends cross my path occasionally and my mother's congregation members cross my path a wee bit more. They are cordial and polite. But at the same time, I used to be waiting out in the car for my wife to come out from the Kingdom Hall and people I knew for years would walk right by me and pretend (poorly) that they don't see me. So there's a mix.
6) Have you faded rather than DA'd due to the possible loss family or is it because you have no network of friends outside the Org?
I would tell most that fading is to keep family contact. If you keep friends, those friends are likely faders or barely JW's themselves. Develop outside friends and, as dear as your friends seem to be, prepare to lose them so you can be more free to be yourself. Typically, only family would put up with a totally inactive member.
7) If you consider yourself a fader how many meetings/assemblies/ field service groups do you still attend on average per month?
Absolutely none. I went to the Memorial one year after fading and never again. I went to a couple of funerals at the hall years ago, but the last one I went to was my aunt's. I think it is important for my peace of mind to be out of there. But for good reasons, I am not afraid to attend a funeral. But it would have to be good reason, not just someone I knew. The elders might decide I am "associating" too much and have a JC.
8) As a fader do you feel that the Org is completely powerless over your life?
Other than the mentions above about "associating," they are completely powerless.
goingthruthemotions

Sorry, did answer the questions properly.
1) How long have you been a fader for? Since 2014
2) How often do you still get pressure from congregation members and/or family to return as an active witness?Never, the only family is her mom and she has alzehmeirs, other than that her brother and sisters and all my family are not and want nothing to do with the cult. so leaving would be easy. She is the only brainwashed member.
3) What is the longest period you have ever known anyone to successfully fade? Sorry, i don't associate with nor have ever associated with dub's other than my wife. So, no answer.
4) If you have been a fader for more than two years, do you fear you would eventually have to face DA or DF?
If my mother in law was not alive, DAing or DFing would not matter. Even if they annouced it, i would not care. i practice reverse shunning.
5) As faders, how many of you are being treated as if you were DF'd/DA'd? Practice reverse shunning.

6) Have you faded rather than DA'd due to the possible loss family or is it because you have no network of friends outside the Org? all my friends have nothing to do with the cult. if my wife wasn't in. i would have told them to stick up there arses along time ago.
7) If you consider yourself a fader how many meetings/assemblies/ field service groups do you still attend on average per month?
8) As a fader do you feel that the Org is completely powerless over your life? They have no power over me!!!
RichardHaley

1) How long have you been a fader for?
7 years
2) How often do you still get pressure from congregation members and/or family to return as an active witness?
once or twice a year from members I run into aside from work (work with several dubs and no pressure there)
3) What is the longest period you have ever known anyone to successfully fade? A successful fade in my view, would be someone who has faded for a period of time but no longer receives any pressure to return to active service (completely left alone).
I know several over 20 years, this question should be reversed to "shortest successful fade?"
4) If you have been a fader for more than two years, do you fear you would eventually have to face DA or DF?
No... that is easily avoided
5) As faders, how many of you are being treated as if you were DF'd/DA'd?
Only being treated/avoided as a spiritually weak one.
6) Have you faded rather than DA'd due to the possible loss family or is it because you have no network of friends outside the Org?
For family only, I could care less about "jw friends"
7) If you consider yourself a fader how many meetings/assemblies/ field service groups do you still attend on average per month?
0.5
8) As a fader do you feel that the Org is completely powerless over your life?
They still have some power because if I speak my mind to family then I would lose them.
adjusted knowledge

1.) I faded or left in 1996
2.) Never
3.) Personally only know of myself and brother so about 20 years. My mother and sister are only ones still in and they are not very active.
4.) Nope, and don't care. I haven't been to my congregation in twenty years. I don't exist in the JW world.
5.) Just treated as inactive if I run into anyone that knew me from my childhood
6.) Never was endangered of being DF. I just moved three hours north of my congregation as a teenager and stopped attending.
7.) 0, I haven't been to a memorial in like 15 years, and went to a few meetings and one assembly two years ago out of curiosity. A boring waste of time too lol. I've spent more time on this site in the last 20 years than at a kingdom hall.
8.) The org is completely powerless over my life with the exception of my mother. Talking to my mother about the many faults of the borg only depresses her. At times I have to remember not to be so critical of the watchtower around her.
blondie

What is a fader? In my dictionary it means a temporary period to adjust your life to life away from the WTS and its procedures and policies except by your own choice. Otherwise I am considered inactive by jws, no time turned in for 15 years, and no meetings, assemblies/conventions, funerals, weddings/receptions, etc.
Not getting caught dong anything you could be df'd for or saying anything that could be interpreted to meaning da'ing yourself.
I feel that everyone's experience is different because of the many variables involved.

A poll of sorts: How long have you been a "fader" for?

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