by Valis 21 Replies latest jw friends
I remember Ambush22 leaving a funny comment on one of my drawings...I am sorry that he is in prison now.
Like your brother, I too was homeschooled for all the wrong reasons. My little brother was homeschooled too,
and is also in and out of jail...so your post brings up a lot of sad feelings regarding homeschooling
and how it has affected my family.
Please let him know that people here remember him, and wish him well.
Take care, Valis. You're a good big brother.
truly sad.....i remember your brother posting here briefly....he sounded on the "up swing"....it has to hurt tremendously to see his actions and their result.....give him lots of love and reasurance,,,,he is young yet,,,,let him know you are there....(((((((((((((((( valis ))))))))))))))
(((((((Valis))))))) I'm sorry to hear about your brother. Its really sad but I hope that this experience will change your brother and teach him something. Perhaps when he is released he will make the changes needed in his life and make better decisions.
My little brother was raised a JW and though never baptised he lived with all the pressure that accompanies such a childhood. He ended up going to prison a couple years after he left our home and the organization. He served a year for doing something stupid while in a drunken state. After he was released you could see that he was smarter, and more determined to get his life together. He learned a lot from it and is a better person for it. I hate to say it but I think some people need that wake up call. Going to prison was his life wake up call and hes been working and not been involved in any trouble since.
I hope the same thing happens for your brother.
flower
(((((((Valis))))))))
I am so sorry to hear this, but it is not the end for your brother. I can't believe I'm actually admitting this, but years ago, I did something really bad and ended up going to prison. It wasn't a long stay (30 days) but I swore I would never end up there again. However, during my stay, I had to see a counsellor there (it was NOT an option) and believe or not, it started me on a road to trying to improve myself and not fall back into old habits. It was a constant struggle though, and it wasn't until I was in therapy that I understood that alot of my bad decisions that I've made, were made because I had low self-esteem and in the back of my mind, I didn't think I deserved anything better. The religion totally screwed me up too and it took alot of years before I even got to where I am today. Your brother sounds as though he would benefit greatly from counselling. I will assume that this is offered still to prisoners today and you should maybe suggest this to him.
Your brother will be very depressed right now (being in prison does NOT make you feel good) and will need all the encouragement and support from you he can get. I don't know if you're able to go visit him, but even regular phone calls will help him get through it, along with cards, or letters. When he gets out, he should definitely get some therapy, preferably from someone who deals with cults.
Tell him that many here send their best wishes to him and look forward to when he's back.
((((Valis))))
In a way I can relate to your situation.
As a result of the JW doctrine, my brother adheres to their destructive shunning policies and he and I no longer speak or associate on any level.
Due to the fact the JW's discourage higher education and marriage early to avoid any sexual escapades, he got married at 23 and is now 29 with a wife, one child (whom I am not allowed to see) and another on the way (due in March).
He also has a low paying job (about $22,000/yr) because he did not get a college degree and his wife doesn't work. He passed on a good paying job by reference of my father so as to "pursue Kingdom interests".
The Jehovah's Witnesses and their belief system not only divides families, but destroys lives.
Edited by - Reborn2002 on 26 January 2003 11:33:38
Thanks to all for your comments. Maybe I will takes the posts in this thread and include them in my letter to him. Oh and thanks for my phone calls last night.
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
Sorry for the continued family sh*t, Valis.
Maybe I will takes the posts in this thread and include them in my letter to him.
Valis, I hope you'll think hard before you do that. As I was reading this thread just now, it struck me that your brother needs to own up to what a fuckup he is. Reinforcing the negatives in his past (and yes, I agree that they are negatives) won't help, IMO. It will hurt IMO. I really have to recommend putting aside your agenda, my agenda, everyone on this board's agenda, and treating your brother based on what he needs, which is definitely not excuses for his behaviour and anger at his parents. One reason I feel so strongly that this tactic won't help, is that your brother is likely not all that stupid, even if he acts stupid sometimes. Not being an idiot, he is well aware of the fact that in spite of all the negatives in his past, his own bad choices got him where he is today. I'm sure the excuses are more comforting than the cold hard reality, but not helpful.
Should he deal with his past with the help of a professional councellor? Hell yeah.
Reborn's brother is a good case in point. His life is not ideal, and he sucks as a brother, but he's a hell of alot better off than if he was in jail.
Edited by - wednesday on 27 January 2003 6:50:42
Hey Valis,
Sorry to hear about your brother! I read his posts...he seemed like a really nice guy, I was hoping he would be at the apostatefest...
I know what you mean about the JW's and home schooling...tyydyy's sisters were both home school...and both their lives are royally *F*ed up!
Maybe we could send him a letter or something, letting him know there are people who care? You think that might help?
six...thanks for the advice...I think you are right. I'm not making excuses for his behavior BTW, just explaining it from my point of view.
Xena...thanks for your email. Yes I am writing him and will at least tell him there are people on the outside thinking of him.
rebbies, its the frustration that bugs the hell out of me...and when you approach the parents about it all they can say it "We did what we thought best"......do ya think they might rethink it all at this point? It doesn't matter to them I guess..its too late in any case.
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
