I Am So Sad

by Windchaser 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • Windchaser
    Windchaser

    January 26 is a particularly hard day for me. Two of my children were born on this day, five years apart. I can't wish either one of them a Happy Birthday. All those years that I wouldn't and now that I can, I can't. My son would have been 30 today and my daughter is 35 and is still angry with me (I guess) for raising her as a jw and for being a rotten mother in general.

    Today seems worse than the others years I've had to endure this day. Maybe it's the milestone birthdays. I don't know. I also hate the date my son died, August 14, 1985.

    I appreciate being able to write about it here. I think I'm gonna go cry now.

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    ((((((((((Windchaser)))))))))))

    know you are loved, no matter what a religion says or programs people to say.

    I'm sorry about the loss of your son.

    Hugs,

    j2bf

  • treeny
    treeny

    ((((((((Wind))))))) Dear friend

    I'm sorry, I know nothing can replace our children, but you are loved very much and if I was closer I'd give you a big squeezey hug.

    luv ya,

    terry

  • musky
    musky

    I don't know about your circumstances much, But I am guessing that you always loved your children and wanted to do what was best for them. Thats about all that matters. I hope your day brightens up.

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    (((((((windy)))) I know just how you feel. Remember at least your son has no tears no pain ...Your the one that has that. But just know -I am thinging & praying for you - Keep your chin up....

  • shera
    shera

    Take Care Wind,I'm thinking of you.

  • Mary
    Mary

    (((((((((Windchaser)))))))))))

    I'm so sorry to hear of your sorrows...........there is nothing more painful than losing a child and my heart is with you. As for your daughter still being angry with you, have you considered writing her a letter telling her how you feel? If you realize now that this is not "the Truth", and I assume your daughter no longer goes, then this should be a time where you can give each other comfort. Obviously if you had known years ago that this religion was false, you would have never raised her in this religion, but you can't undo the past and we all make mistakes.

    I would at least send your daughter a birthday card with some sentiments in it. It'll make you feel better and it just might make her think a bit differently.

    All the best, and keep your chin up.

  • ChrisVance
    ChrisVance

    ((((((((((((((Windchaser)))))))))))))))))

    I have an idea how you feel. My sad day is in three days. My daughter was born on the 29th. She's still a jdub and won't speak to me. I'd give anything to be able to undo raising her as a jdub, but that's not possible. When I think of everything she missed because of my stupidity I could kick myself. My thoughts are with you. Take care, Chris

  • Reborn2002
    Reborn2002

    Wow Windchaser, sometimes there are no words adequate to express emotion, and in this particular case there is nothing that I or anyone else can say that would be enough. Just know that there are people here for you, and that the board provides a place you can vent your frustrations and sorrows and seek solace from others who have suffered in other ways and in ways similar to your own.

    (((((((Windchaser)))))))

  • neyank
    neyank

    ((((((( Windy)))))))

    Only us parents can understand.

    ChrisVance says:

    "When I think of everything she missed because of my stupidity I could kick myself."

    I think we'll always feel this way.

    We can't change the past no matter how much we may wish we can.

    But we do have a future.

    And what we do with it can shape peoples lives for the better.

    neyank

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