January 26 is a particularly hard day for me. Two of my children were born on this day, five years apart. I can't wish either one of them a Happy Birthday. All those years that I wouldn't and now that I can, I can't. My son would have been 30 today and my daughter is 35 and is still angry with me (I guess) for raising her as a jw and for being a rotten mother in general.
Today seems worse than the others years I've had to endure this day. Maybe it's the milestone birthdays. I don't know. I also hate the date my son died, August 14, 1985.
I appreciate being able to write about it here. I think I'm gonna go cry now.